How do you make time for self-care?

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Must be a sign of the times in which we live that some level of jargon is developed to define something that really doesn’t need it.  Or, worse, makes it into comething else.  At some level it seems to be there to become a title, a status and then a career with a paycheck of all things.  

Like influencer.  

Honest interaction and connection, face to face,  heart to heart and  soul to soul has been the greatest influence of my life. That is what genuinely influences me and who I am trying to become. 

Content creator?  

I guess it all depends on how you pronounce it.  Working in the yard and growing grass. Seeing someone grow as a person and athlete.  A warm hug from someone that appreciates you.  Having the opportunity to share my thoughts with you.  Talk about creating fulfillment.  Those are just some of  the best ways I have found that make me most content.  

Looksmaxxing?  

Nope. Not going there. 

Each day I simply try to do my best to take care.  Not just simply for myself.  But more so for others.  It may not always work out that way.  I have my shortcomings and failings. Many.  But if I remain in that approach, by doing my best to make it selfless, then I am granted gifts never imagined.  

The simplest things. 

Like being open to the influence I sense in them and what they openly share with me.  Finding the sense of contentment they create for me.  Looking outward, beyond myself so that what give  maxxes out the joy created within.  

I am finding that self-care’s focus is not where I thought it was aimed. 

It helps when I direct it outward, selflessly.  

And not so much inward, and selfishly.   

What’s one thing you wish you had started doing earlier in life?

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For about as long as I can remember, I have felt this spiritual presence.  Not sure how to describe it.  Express what it felt like or where it was within me.  I was just aware of it.  Sensed it.  And for whatever, just left it there. 

Rather, left Him there. 

Without ever saying “hello”. 

To wrapped up in other things to take even one step toward to explore.  Make a minimal  effort to understand the source.  Find out more about it, or Him for that matter. 

Then, all at once, that moment came.  .  

Everything changed.  

I was confirmed into the Catholic faith.  

I am getting to know Him.  Hearing His voice. Understanding His will.  Letting go and letting God.  With it comes a true sense of serenity. Peace.  And gratitude for His patience with me and faith that I would let Him into my life.  So He can just be with me.  And I with Him.  

I sincerely wish that I had done this earlier in life.  But I also understand that things have to happen in their own time. After all, it is part of a much bigger plan for  me and what I am meant to become. 

My friends, if any of you sense the same thing I spoke of,  please give it more thought and a moment’s wonder than I.  

Don’t set it aside for the thing of the moment.  Pursue the wonder.  See where it can take you. 

By no means am I suggesting that you need or have to follow my specific faith path. That is not what this is about.   I just know how nourished my soul is now and how transformative this been to my very being. 

I honestly just want that for you. 

However you do it, whereever you find it, whomever you let into your life, please give it your honest embrace.  Become connected, as one to it.  Open oneself up to the possibilities it will undoubtedly provide.  

Believe.  

Trust.  

Love.  

Live. 

By all means, let it happen now. 

Don’t wait, then wish. 

Daily writing prompt

If you could pick any fictional animal to be your lifelong companion (like a Pokémon or fantasy pet), what would it be?

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Having said what I said prior, I would not pick another fictional animal or anything to be my lifelong companion.

Being that I am strving to eliminate that side of me, I am really not that interested in make believe anymore.

Sorry, but you need to hop along now.

If you had to switch lives with a fictional character for a week, who would you choose?

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Funny how the prompts of late seem to focus on villains and heroes, characters, fictional versus the non variety.  I would never speak for any of you, but this is strangely similar to other instances from the past.  Moments where it almost seemed as though attention was somehow focused upon me.  Not as the precursor to accolade.  Moreso evidence that change was in process and it was best for me to hear, see and feel it.  

If I am not present, then I am not here.  Thinking of a past transgression – mine or others – or looking too far ahead and getting way out over my skis.  If I am not present, then I could miss out on hints, suggestions and truths that wind and find their way into my purview. Offerings and gifts that are truly meant for my sustenance, benefit and life.  I am finding that if I just stay where I am, they surface and blanket me.  

We talk about our fellowship nearly each day, and once the subject of gratitude appeared.  I chose to cling to the idea that gratitude is an honest awareness of what you have.  Right here.  Right now.  Not what I am  going to have delivered by an overworked shipping agent, that promotion I sure as heck deserve and better get, the bucket list of things I just have to do and acquire to live a full life,  or wishing I did everything different all over again. 

Gratitude is knowing, appreciating and holding onto all that is part of you right now.  That simple act is not stagnant.  It is truly vibrant.  It lives.  It breathes.  And since I have decided to share in its atmosphere and breathe its life giving air, things happen. Thoughts come.  Connections are made. Life becomes real.  Love beyond any and all imagination is felt. 

Back to the prompt. 

Pretty much my entire life has been portrayed by a fictional character.  When we were growing up, my brother Glenn and I used to go by a secret identity.  We put a tremendous amount of thought aand effort into these clandestine monikers.  He became Nnelg.  Me?  Kram.  Brilliant, huh.  

Later in life, mostly due to appearance, attitude and demeanor, he morphed into Genghis and I, Attila.  The Hahns.  As you can tell, the whole pun thing is pretty much genetic.  It’s in our jeans.  

Perhaps my fictional characters were Kram Nhah and Attila the Hahn, two lost souls that never really knew who they were, choosing to live a life of fiction. For the most part, I have been engaged in that.  Far more than a week.  

Of late, I have become better acquainted with something and someone real.  His presence is invited and warmly welcomed.  And for that, he is most grateful. 

Meet Mark. 

Mark Hahn.

Have you ever liked a villain more than the hero? Who and why?

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Interesting consideration. 

To be honest, my bald noggin went the Looney Tunes/Tex Avery way on this one.  There was something about the Martian, the dog catcher and the bull dog in those that supplanted Bugs and Droopy.  Too bad Guardian caps weren’t invented while I was on the gridiron.  But I digress……

Then as I got into this query some, a revelation of sorts spoke to me.  Perhaps there of those of you that feel like me on this one.  

But in certain respects, I have played both roles over the course of my life.  Wait, assumed the identity of each.  In my estimation, the villain, with some affinity, moreso than the hero.  Part of my twisted, wait – completely broken – perception of myself.  

That I wasn’t capable of much more than letting myself, and then others, down.  I was the bad guy.  Maybe not to the level of Heath Ledger’s Joker.  But nothing to write home about. 

I liked that guy enough, I guess,  to see some random, heroic efforts here and there.  But within an instant, any modicum of good done by Forest was likely erased by that highly judgemental fellow from the dark side. 

With the guidance, support and love of others, and a much higher power, I have been able to view these disparate roles in a totally different light. Self beat downs have ceased. Seeing the good has increased.  And smiling is still a work in progress. 

I began to appreciate the fact that they were actually one in the same.  Each with their own traits.  Each with room for improvement.  

Nothing truly villainous.  

Just didn’t recognize that character I chose to mask.

Someone truly heroic. 

Myself. 

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