“For most of my life I have struggled to find God, to know God, to love God. I have tried hard to follow the guidelines of the spiritual life—pray always, work for others, read the Scriptures—and to avoid the many temptations to dissipate myself. I have failed many times but always tried again, even when I was close to despair.
Now I wonder whether I have sufficiently realized that during all this time God has been trying to find me, to know me, and to love me. The question is not “How am I to find God?” but “How am I to let myself be found by him?” The question is not “How am I to know God?” but “How am I to let myself be known by God?” And, finally, the question is not “How am I to love God?” but “How am I to let myself be loved by God?” God is looking into the distance for me, trying to find me, and longing to bring me home.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen
I will admit I have struggled to find Him. But then again, just finding me was trouble enough. Yet, as my efforts at self discovery have helped reconcile the latter, it has also become less of a struggle in the former.
Mr. Nouwen articulates the truth perfectly.
I can make it all about anything, everything and even nothing that simply has no bearing in finding Him. But at some point, I just need to get over myself and accept two simple facts.
He simply wants a relationship with me.
I am worth it.
And, bring me home.
Because He misses me.
...my temporary assignment. 