For some time, in one sense or another, I have sought to fully embrace the notion of taking a “leap of faith”. Absolutely.  Just letting go. Reassigning my priorities for good. Striving to genuinely put others first. Him especially.

Though it may not have been said in so many words or described in a direct fashion, I have shared my desire to become less “me” and more “He” focused.  Turning it over.  Surrendering my will in favor of His.

Therein lay the single most challenging crux regarding this matter. What you say you are willing to do versus what you actually will consent to.  What separates making a personal commitment from  embarking upon an altruistic investment.

Simply put, commitment means “I have dedicated myself to do this”.

While investment of this sort conveys, “I will put myself into becoming this.”.

Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with making a commitment.  It can become the driving force towards achieving personal change and that one far reaching desire.

But to me, a personal investment of an altruistic nature is something wholly altogeher different. Immersing the entirety of my mind, body and soul into that genuinely sought and most cherished vocation.  Without self-doubt, trepidation or regret.

That proverbial leap of faith.

Trusting that if I pour myself out and into it, that I will be refilled. Perhaps not all at once.  Or in ways I will even recognize. 

But in time. 

Not as I would. 

But as He wills.

His loving return on my investment in Him.

By just letting go.