The single thing that has cast the most positive, lasting and loving impact upon this stoic has been intentional, genuine and ongoing engagement.

Whether it be nuclear or extended is of no concern. Heck, it can be from those that are vying to become adoptive members of the family, at their peril. Old friends, coworkers. Those that treat me like family are definitely a part of mine. Matters not one bit.

A true and unending one-on-one is life altering.

There is nothing transactional at all about it. No accounting spreadsheets or pivot table. Whatever that is. Just giving and getting, just because, just to be. The get to the heart of things times, talks and some of that just good old silence. Makes me smile just thinking about it.

Here’s a good one.

When my kids were growing up, hearing them sleep filled me to the brim. Just them breathing under their bankies. Nothing at all more positive ever than that. They don’t owe me anything either because they gave those memories to me. Now, it’s the talks, the texts, getting together, relating, being, and holding that each on theeir own way offer that level of engagement.

Holiday get togethers, impromptu cook outs, dropping by, whether nuclear, extended of adoptive all provide that mesmerizing opportunity to be guided by an intentional, genuine and ongoing engagement.

Not all are able at first.

It just takes time and trust.

But no worry on this end.

That too can change.

To a positive.