passion

My temporary assignment.

Daily writing prompt

What is your mission?

One of the most precious aspects of this “congregation”, so to speak, is that we all simply get to share. To delve into what is happening between the ears and pur out some of what is swelling within our hearts. Nothing is dictated. No expectation. Rules? Guidelines? KPI’s?

Nope.

Just being ourselves, wherever that happens to be in the process. Sharing. Not telling, Advising. Stating. Laying out. Instructing. Simply sharing bits and pieces of ourselves to all that is willing to hear, read and feel. “Prompt” has its own sense and level of urgency tied to it. Not so much, “hey, get off your ass and get going here Hahn!” But a more subtle, “you know, you find writing affirming , fulfilling and just plain old fun, so you should set aside a moment or two to just be, Hahn.”

All of which fits into the mission. I will phrase it that way for now as that is more honest than claiming ownership of this venture. It is more so a way forward that was offered by another. It is just that I neglected to hear what was being said and see what I was being shown.

Initially, my mission was one of self destruction masked by the guise of self determination. Knowing all, showing all, telling all and being all to “all” is how I went about “life”, if you want to call it that. Perhaps on a technicality. Being friends, I can share this part of me with you now.

The faux sense of self determination was born not of self knowledge, but more so of selflessness. Without a true estimation of one’s value, abided by low self esteem, reinforced by a pervasive sense of shame, my mission was to please those around me. When I first discovered this, resentment – focused on those that couldn’t appreciate what I “had” – sank in and took control.

Upon deeper discernment and reflection, a revelation of sorts made its presence known. Looking back on it, maybe “presents” – like Mr. Keane suggested – is more appropriate. Because what I came to understand unwrapped an ongoing stream of gifts. The ultimate realization that I sought others, relationships and life on the basis of having those experiences confirm my complete self unawareness has provided me with the foundation for an entirely different mission.

It’s about time.

Not that traveling this new territory doesn’t come with its share of anxiety, doubts and plain old fear. But it surrounds me with an all encompassing sense of peace and serenity. I can control things in my grasp, like how I react and respond to situations and instances. If I choose to get into disputes. Tell someone what they “need” to do because, you know, I have proven myself as an authority about life. I can engage with everyone around me, or just smile and move on to my next activity.

Each day reveals another aspect of me that had been cordoned off and unseen for much of my life. The chances I take now are to listen more and choose my words and timing thereof with their feelings being the center of my concern. Carrying around the weight of all those disappointments, regrets and failures is no longer an aspect of my fitness routine. Finally, I can start to utter the phrase, “you aren’t such a bad man after all, Hahn.”

That being said, for better of for worse, my mission got me to this point. Now that I have come to the conclusion that I desperately need to contract out any updates or new versions of my true vocation, He will be taking the reins.

It wasn’t really my mission all along. I just thought it was. Now, looking back, it has always been His. I just needed to figure that out and let go so I could get after it.

My temporary assignment.

That of life.

I have long contended that football is the game of life. Being a player, like all of you, I am familiar with the challenges, discomfort and anxiety that can come with it.

The challenges of overcoming an opponent or task bigger than you think are. The discomfort that comes along with such a seemingly endless physical, mental and emotional effort whether it be practice or game. And the anxiety that accompanies not knowing the exact outcome of your work, being unsure you are doing it exactly right, fearing you are not enough and God forbid, you make a mistake.

Speaking from a common experience, if you play football, you are already living outside of your comfort zone. In football terms being a resident of the O-Line, some of you are at the first level. Others have moved towards the second. Still fewer, the third. And yet to be conquered, is the 4th level.

On extremely rare occasions can one go from one to four. That’s like a lottery ticket. Perhaps you can get to level three from one, if things are just right. But more often than not, you cannot skip steps, avoid work and wish your way into achievement. You need to work your way up and through each one to reach level four. The end zone.

You see, if you want to achieve the things you truly value and aspire to, you have to get used to being uncomfortable. Not just in the fall. But the year round. You have to commit and fully invest in embracing that sense of being challenged, some sense of discomfort and the anxiety that may accompany being unsure what is going to happen.

Again, speaking as a football player like you, living out of your comfort zone turns out to be the best place you can be. It promotes growth, confidence, perseverance, faith and a chance to become all you were meant to be. Whether it is school, your first job, college or pursuing your passion, you cannot go from level one to four. You must find work and make your way up that field, whatever it is.

Doing the things that ultimately take you to life’s end zone.

So that being said, let me offer a challenge.

For whatever reason, this one play causes a great deal of angst and worry. Most likely because it doesn’t give you a definitive assignment like the other plays. It just calls on you to all move towards the play as one, sealing off the LOS and moving to the second level. Vague I know. But you run it to perfection against cans in practice. But against bodies, you shrink, second guess and cringe about making a mistake.

How about getting out of your comfort zone on this one?

Better yet, get out of it for the whole game.

Embrace the challenges, discomfort and anxiety. I bet you will find that endzone more than a couple of times in those four quarters. And when all is said and done, you will know that you gave it your all no matter what. That in itself counts as a win.

Stands to reason you could go 2-0 on Friday then.

And keep the winning streak alive in the weeks, months and years to come if you learn the value of being uncomfortable.

Think about it.

As you work your way towards another end zone.

That of life.

There is a misconception about the relationship between emotion and passion.

Both might be considered sources of energy, enthusiasm and effort in the context of performance. But truth be told, they are neither equal nor interchangeable.

When it comes to impacting performance, emotion is like kindling. Twigs, branches, scrap lumber. Remnants of something fallen. Leftovers of things that used to grow, and sustain life. Now? Readily combustible. Prone to sudden ignition. Just waiting to be lit. And given certain conditions, situations or settings – elements that can be dangerous. Exhibiting the potential to erupt into an uncontrollable flame. Kindling – like emotion – can burn white hot in an instant, spread rapidly without regard for its surroundings and consume all in its path. Even ultimatley, consuming itself.

Emotion follows whatever happens to start it and then feed it, but only for that moment, burning a path wherever it happens to be led. More often than not it comes as a response without regard for consequence, leading to actions built on misdirected energy, focus and intention. Haphazard. Indiscriminate. And entirely unsustainable. Much like kindling, pure emotion can behave absent of any purpose other than to consume. Entirely contingent on the right setting, circumstance and source for ignition. A reaction for reaction’s sake alone.

Passion, on the other hand, is an altogether different kind of energy source.

It is more akin to oak, maple or birch. Hardwoods, that grow sturdy in the elements, forged by the relentless challenges of the environment, weathering the storms of each season. Made to soldier on despite drought, flood, blizzard or injury to limb. Unlike the scattered forces of emotion, passion – like the oak – is an entity that is firmly grounded. Its roots are set deep and poised for growth. Passion is about exerting one’s full intention no matter the elements. Maximizing capacity regardless of the environment. Soldiering on, above and beyond each and every obstacle raised.

True passion is a fuel that is meant to be stoked by purpose.

One made present in a form that can be tempered contingent on the circumstance. Like seasoned oak, passion is intended to burn for the long run. Capable of sustaining a high level of energy for a relentless drive that commands a consistent and persistent release over time without condition. Passion is a source of energy that is made to be delivered with precision. Producing light when things look their darkest. Enhancing clarity in moments of truth. The catalyst that forges steel.

Emotion alone is incapable of sustaining this kind of effort. Only passion is equal to this task.

Don’t get me wrong, emotion is important. It is an integral part of our personal infrastructure. An element well suited to ignite new ventures.

But in the context of the life-long pursuit of achievement, success and excellence, emotion can only take you so far. It may enable you to perform briefly at a high level. But only in the correct setting, proper circumstance and timing. Emotion is dispensed in unsustainable, sporadic bursts. Moments that once extinguished, are out.

And gone for good.

Passion is the only genuine and self-perpetuating source of energy for all that you choose to accomplish. It is born of your mindset. One grown in the open, exposed to the harshest conditions and unrelenting environments. Only passion girds you to weather the storms of the season, keeping you firmly grounded, roots set deep, poised for growth.

Passion is all about exerting your full intention no matter the elements or the competition. Maximizing your capacity regardless of the environment.

Passion leads you to soldier on, above and beyond each and every obstacle raised.

So before you take that field tomorrow night, head to the office or look to find your role. by all means, light that fire. Stoke it white hot with a level of emotion reserved for each day of the week.

But then, as things happen, good or bad, be sure that you feed others with your passion. Guide your collective energies with intention. Drive yourself forward with purpose. Soldier on, as one, above and beyond each and every obstacle raised.

Fuel your performance as one with something more sustaining than just kindling.