Tag Archives: personal-development

Self.

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In order to acquire self mastery, you first need to employ self-discipline.   

Once on the path to self mastery, your opportunities will multiply.  You will be working from a foundation built for achievement, the pursuit of excellence and eventually – success. 

Yet mastery of self  is entirely and exclusively reliant on your attitude.  

A positive attitude will provide you with safe passage. It prevents you from treading down an ever slippery slope of largely self induced emotional blackmail.  It guards you from living down to low expectations.  Protects you from acquiescing to the laws of just being average.  Settling for whatever happens to come your way.  

If you neglect to  master your attitude first – you run the risk of limiting or losing the potential that exists in you; in that moment and in the future.  

A  lack of vigilance when it comes to your attitude can turn you against yourself. 

Pitting opportunity against expediency.  

You can become your own worst enemy.  Choosing the easy way out.  

A route that has led many to react rather than respond. 

A decision to let emotion and pride rule the day.  A poor attitude can and will  run roughshod over your talents and aspirations before you even know it.  

Especially when it comes to responding to even the smallest bit of adversity. 

It can happen in an instant, perhaps in a sequence that goes something like this: 

“Crap.  

Why me?  

Why can’t anything ever be easy, or work the way I want it to?  

Why does this always happen to me?  

When am I going to catch a break. 

I cannot do this any more. 

I wish I was somewhere else. 

Why can’t this day be over?“ 

You see what can happen in the span of about 60 seconds? 

You can react and send yourself plummeting off the deep end to drown in self pity, defeatism and despair.  Yet if you can find it in yourself to respond,  to be positive, you could end up carrying  that same load in this fashion:  

“Wow! 

A challenge made just for me. 

A chance  to test myself again!

I must get all of these opportunities because I can handle them. 

When this one is over, I hope I get another chance to reveal my character.

I can do anything if I give it my best ! 

I am going to make the most of this moment !  

An opportunity like this may never come again.

I am made for this. ”

See how that can work for you?  

It is how you choose to carry it.

Respond. 

And master self.

Tradewind

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“We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”

― Thomas S. Monson

A simple yet poignant bit of wisdom on how to navigate the currents and wind that take you through life.

During a discussion earlier this week, aspects centered on responses made when an event blows in and makes its presence known in your life. Whether it was an externally generated circumstance making itself known over time or suddently – or – one generated from within. No matter the origin, how we choose to respond makes all the difference in the world.

You see, regardless of its conception and incumbent inception into your existence, what will ultimately follow hinges on how you choose to respond.

Should it happen to be a positive occurrence, perhaps the response is to make your self “as one” with it to then follow a path of fulfillment, affirmation and growth. In situations such as those, perhaps Mr.Monson’s offering, “”For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude.” applies.

But what if the event that presents itself, externally or internally, appears as a gust. Carrying with it utter calamity, the potenial for loss, harm and destruction? Perhaps not where you think you chose to be. Or worse yet, the application of poor choices, self-centered behavior and a penchant for dishonesty brought with it an ill wind.

Some time ago, a mentor fervently espoused that “adversity is never an if proposition, but always a when event.” And despite the readily negative connotations, adversity also always carrys with it the grace of opportunity. Though it may not be readily apparent, if we open ourselves and “…may we choose a positive attitude”, it will become visible.

As we moved along towards closure of the discussion, the analogy of the wind and sails was offered and with it, produced a profound and lasting resonance.

You may encounter a trade wind of sorts, beckonging you to employ a varied deployment and orientation of sails so that you may capture all of the good it brings so that you may end up where you chose to be.

Or, perhaps the contrary occurs and you find yourself colliding with a potentially self generated gale or worse. There is nothing you can do to counter that wind and force of nature other than choose to adjust and change course.

It may come to represent a pattern of gales of adversity you have had to endure, or have created, through out your life.

And therein lay the opportunity.

So choose to adjust.

Seek the tradewind.

And embrace where it takes you.

Outcomes

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Semantics, marketing and social media trends seem to somehow rule each day. It might be something oriented to draw out the athlete hidden deep within us. Maybe it is a phrase intended to bring out the leader that resides next to that athlete.  Perhaps it is self defense tactics involving toxic environments and others.  Or, a call to reveal one’s true character. 

Now there isn’t anything off about any of these approaches.  Not that they do not have relevance, sustainability or the potential for permanence.  There is value to each and everyone. From my perspective, it is just that for some reason they appear to be targeted to a very specific group.  And as such, the potential impact of what is being presented, said and promoted becomes so focused on one thing, that other ancillary concerns and needs are totally missed. 

So as a football coach a year ago,  E + R = O was presented to the program. At first glance,  some apparent math equation that in our circumstance happened to be geared towards our game and conduct within it. But then, I came across this approach within some of the corporate social media I read and write about. And even more so in things that involve leadership, character, achievement.  

You name it, Mr. Kight’s foundation for making the life you choose is everywhere

But now, I have started to see it from an entirely  different perspective.  

You can gear up things that apply to very specific targets.  To become known for a prowess that speaks to a very specific audience.  Perhaps some  KPI.  Or, since you have developed these tactics that have the potential to embrace a much wider group, perhaps it can be presented as that first, then as a dollar oriented approach. 

The event plus response equals outcome viewpoint literally applies to all aspects of life. Not just athletics, business, self improvement or any other interest of the moment.  

It goes far deeper than all the above.  

Imagine you encounter an event in your life that beckons an urgent response.  Maybe it is a health issue.  A relationship challenge.  Spiritual collapse. Alcohol or drug abuse. A self destructive behavior you somehow made your own. Loneliness.

All in their own right, entities  not designed to fit a marketing driven collection of buzz words, phrases and such designed to attract likes, clicks and impressions. But rather, to fit into something with an altogether different gravity and mass. 

An event you now face, plus the response you choose to make and how that will eventually create the outcome sought. 

We all face them.  We all need to respond accordingly.  And then, we need to either accept the outcome, go back and amend our response and continue this assessment until the event has been overcome.  

Or just accept things and call in the dogs. 

Events are never trumpeted, announced or heralded.  Well, not usually. And the tenor of these occurrences should not determine the fealty of the way things are encountered, embraced or enjoined.  

We need merely to respond in a fashion that produces what we ultimately desire to achieve.  

Whether we acknowledge it or not.  

So, while an event prescribes a certain response, it may not be within our grasp to do so at this moment.  It may be timing, circumstance, presence, placement or an unwillingness to accept the need for change.  A stubbornness born of seeing things through your well worn rose colored specs. 

Though response to an event will ultimately equate to an outcome, events and responses may be ill equipped to produce if not properly discerned, honestly approached and embraced with an element of surrender.  

If you can somehow adhere to this equation at this level, all other situations will follow suit, providing the genuine, warranted and desired outcome.  

Remain present in the event.  Be honest with  yourself about the response that is required.  

And make the outcome a source for life. 

Choose.

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I want to circle back  to a gem I love from James Allen:

“Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will affect in the material conditions of his life. Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance.”  

This is a keen insight, built upon thought, habit and circumstance.  A genuine pattern of consequence with a lasting resonance.  An interconnectedness solely made by  and accountable to you. In certain respects, how your character is woven into a pursuit of excellence.

Then, how you choose to follow a suggested path governed by three simple questions.

#1 What thoughts hold you back?   

Is it  fear?  

Like it isn’t  within you to start? Or is it the avoidance of commitment; that it is too much to see it through. To finish.

Perhaps it is all about the unknown.  The possible uncertainty of the  outcome that dogs you.  The daunting spectre of disappointment. Discouragement’s inherent distractions. Disapproval. And ultimately, defeat.

Maybe it is the fickleness of change. A need for security. The inability to trust.  An aversion to honesty or criticism.  Selfishness. Arrogance. Ego.  Misperceptions about the call for leadership. Misconceptions about its demands for constant, unrelenting accountability, presence and effort.

And despite your efforts at containment, your thoughts rarely remain secret.

Your doubts are truly, traitors.

By word or deed, they make their way to the surface.  A little here, a little there. Followed by a hitch, the glitch, the sticking points, avoidance. Soon, all at once, you become an open book.  Your once private thoughts, come to govern habit, control action, impede achievement and prohibit excellence, all in a very public manner.

#2 What are you willing to do to change?

Not simply a change for change’s sake.  But renewal with the highest intention. The reclamation of a positive and fulfilling future through the development of the requisite and lasting habits of this instant.

Making the choice to acknowledge, address and act upon constraints now – that prevent you from maximizing your capacity in the moments yet to come.

Engaging in an intensely personal process of assessment, evaluation, reassessment, reevaluation, until the change you aspired to achieve has been accomplished and received. 

Preparing yourself to begin the work, commit the resources, and transform the internal  obstacles  of your own creation into a method of optimizing opportunity and enhancing abilities, forging a path for your own pursuit of excellence.

Mustering a level of will, faith and fortitude to maintain and nourish sustained level action.

Finishing.   No matter what.

#3 – What will be different?  

What will you endeavor to become while on this path ?  Who will you be once you get there?

How will you fit into a much bigger picture?  What will your impact be?

And then once you get “there”, where do you go from that temporary point?

Crucial questions, requiring thought, fully employed vision and an honest examination of intent.

All of which leads to choice.  And then, ultimately transformative action. The very mass of your character, woven into the fabric of excellence.

There can be no secret to this pattern that you designed, made and upheld. 

Nor to the circumstances that only you helped to create.

Essentially, it all comes down to these three questions. 

And, how you choose to answer them.  

Choose wisely.  

Doubt

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Mr. Shakespeare once wrote:  “Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”  

Words which speak of an inner conflict common to us all.  A hand to hand combat engaged from within.  When aspirations to become and achieve come in conflict with the risk associated with escape from your current reality. 

When dreams are overrun  by a phalanx of “common sense” and  the little voice that whispers “Yes.  You can.”, becomes shouted down by, “What in the world are you thinking?”.

Yes, our doubts are traitors.  

Made to betray our efforts, our commitments and our character.  

Our doubts seek to cajole and finesse one into believing your best interests lay in accepting the security that might reside in the  present instead of embracing the possibilities  of what you can make to follow.   

Our doubts twist  events and circumstances so the only perspective is negative.   Presenting an appearance that  consequences are more evident and abundant than the opportunity that always resides on just the other side.  

Our doubts are the comforting arm around your shoulder you seek when you fail – before you even attempt to try.  They are the self generated distractions designed to let you off the hook.  The white noise of rationale, excuse and drama. 

James Allen once  put it: “Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself.”

Yet we fail to realize that within that very same armory are housed the dies of your salvation, opportunity and excellence. 

For man “…also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought….”  (James Allen “A man thinketh”)

Doubt is ill suited to thrive when exposed to these elements.  

Doubt dissipates under the brilliance of vision and aspirations. 

Doubt will succumb to the intensity of purpose with intention.  

Ultimately, doubt is excised by excellence. 

So begin now. 

Cast the dies that will forge your tools.    

– Choose to live  as “who” you see yourself being.  

– Act as “what” you intend to become. 

– Imagine you are already  “where” you dream of going   

Equip yourself  to persist and persevere. Press beyond fear, dispense with the drama and accept expectations. 

Allow that “you just know it” sensation to take hold, and embrace a level of  faith that will enable you to  overcome an inertia borne of skepticism, reluctance and doubt. All the while generating palpable momentum, a sustaining source of strength and a heightened level of confidence. 

In a collaborative effort of thought, choice and deeds, each working in concert to affirm a  blueprint of how you will conduct yourself and pattern your life.

So be true to yourself with a firm and resilient loyalty.  

Never abide the treason of doubt.