Tag Archives: mental-health

Something to write home about.

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What’s the most underrated life skill?

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Quite the conundrum.  

But then again, part of my composition is to take things deeper and make them wider than merited.  Perhaps just the way I have learned to process, learn and hopefully, eventually grow.  Lord knows I have spread plenty of manure around for the past six or so decades.  One would think that ample ground to blossom and bloom.  Sigh….

My initial impression was guided towards an aptitude of presence.  Being fully there in the moment.  Regardless of the calamity or the joy.  Then, add to that, a genuinely crucial and forever human component.  Enjoining in the twin sense of another. 

Empathy that feeds into compassion. 

Presence is what it says, not me.  Neither choosing to escape back into my past or get ahead of myself, determined to know precisely what will happen next.  As painful as it can be, in the grand scheme of things, my moments have not been perpetual.  Well, calamitous yes.  Joyful, no. That is, unless I choose to allow them to be.  

Back to today’s assignment.  

When I am locked into myself, nothing else exists.  Those with far heavier burdens, greater fears and joyous absentia (I think I just made that up, and Ai was really confused.) are in dire need of another, more than anything else. 

Another needs another just to be there to gain a sense of where they are.  That is, isolation – in all its degrees and variations –  is a truly painful and life draining existence. It seems to be rampant these days, though appearances may connive us to believe otherwise.  

When I am not into myself, I can sense those around me.  Gain a sense of where there are and how I might share in that state as well.  Actually feel it. Chances are, I have been where they have, even if only for a moment.  Just that simple, singular level of camaraderie might be that one life altering connection.  Where I feel what they are feeling, am where they are, and not know what to do next. 

That is where empathy feeds right into compassion and ultimately brings each of us closer.  

Once the guard is reduced, the heart can open. Honesty can be shared and trust begins to flow.  Nothing about this interation is transactional whatsoever. 

It is just because I was there and they were there.

Present.

And ultimately, we just needed to sense and feel each other right then.  

Presence opening empathy into the bloom of compassion.

Back to the assignment.

To rate something means I first need to know what I am rating. And not all of my skills are readily apparent, if even known. I am still growing. Maybe you feel the same way.

And life? I am still simply trying to live it to the best of my ability. I am not alone in this. This too connects me with all of you.

Nothing underrated about that.

Something to write home about.

Boxcars!

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Do you believe in karma?

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Hope today’s effort doesn’t result in snake eyes. 

My impression is that karma seems to possess a negative conotation.  A spanking as it were for something dishonest, egotistic, prideful or out of character done before, under the radar. Perhaps it wasn’t intended as such, but it sure seems that way to me. 

I think I am more attuned to coincidence.  A fellow by the name of Albert Einstein once positied,   “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”

That is more in sync with where I am in life.

I am more aware of that level of His presence due to my enhanced level of being present. 

He just loves us.  

So, I am floored when out of the blue, I am put in contact with a direly needed new acquaintance, a never once considered opportunity presents itself, or a moment where I need to try and be something I have long avoided is suddenly right in front of me.  Literally just happened this morning. A connection that affirms all parties just happened to present itself.

Conversely, when I have tried to hide a dishonest thought, word or action, sure as feces, it confronts, mocks and stains me in the worst possible way.  Same with my overinflated ego and pride.  Multiple times, my balloon has developed a sorely needed slow leak and subsequent deflation, or has simply been popped.  And let me tell you, acting out of character is crapping out in the worst way. Provides ample opportunity for some serious discernment.

Whether good and bad, I see coincidence born out of love as an effort to persuade me to see who I truly am and what I am meant to be. Self absorption tends to obfuscate that perspective. But once I clear my noggin and stay put in the here and now, not directing but willingly receiving, I cannot describe the results.

Like this morning.

Maybe some see it as karma. Others, as I, coincidence.

I just feel it.

Know it.

His love either way.

Boxcars!

Not the other.

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Daily writing prompt
What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
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Despite my tendencies to be very structured in certain respects, I am also enthralled by spontaneity. Perhaps because of the structure, I have more opportunity. Honestly, never really thought about that until now. So there is one example.

The word spontaneous comes from the Latin word sponte, which means “of one’s free will”. Considering how we sometimes choose to use it, perhaps He is having second thoughts on that one gift in particular. Yikes. But as usual, I digress.

This morning, I watered the last of the grass seed I laid out for this season, a few days ago. Saw the spot when I got back from getting coffee for my bride. Just did it. All the dirt and all the seed are in the lawn now. Next up? More bulbs of some sort for next spring.

Wrote what I will call a daily reflection to myself. A way I happened upon to defray some of the irritation, angst and distraction that comes my way in the things I do. Used to try and name them, but a date works just fine. Oh, and somehow I came across this font that is really appealing to me for some reason. These old peepers can read it. “Comfortaa” is the one.

I figured out how I could renovate the console my brother left me. I have tried to get it fixed, but being from the 1960’s, there isn’t a whole lot of tinkerers or parts out there to bring it up to snuff. So? I found a source for some newer electronics that I will rig to fit into that beautiful piece of furniture. I will save the guts and see if someone with more experience than I wants it for their hobby.

I guess what it really comes down to, which may seem contradictory, is that structure creates avenues for spontaneity.

Because what needs to happen has, what I want to happen, can.

Sponte exercised in a good and affirming way.

Not the other.

Granted by the gratuity of presence.

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Daily writing prompt
If you had to give one life-changing tip, what would it be?
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Giving a tip implies that I know what works. That my friends would be a very broad assumption on my part. Even dropping it down a few notches to “I know what works for me” is definitely a stretch.

But I can share one decision that has proven to be life changing for me. A common theme on this site of late when I seek to connect with each of you, whether prompt or “just because” driven.

Remaining present.

The past has served its purpose. And as the word suggests, it happened, it is over, and unless I somehow become H.G. Wells, and have that machine, there is no going back. Sapping my emotional, mental, physical and spiritual energy by focusing exclusively in that direction brings nothing but remorse, regret and isolation to me.

Thinking I am in control of what has yet to occur is another splendid avenue towards the same personally driven, intentional, downward spiral. I may think I have put every piece together that will eventually lead to that highly vaunted place, but things change. Others change. I change. An hour gone by has the potential to turn everything inside out.

And I am still not H.G.

So it is simply best for me to just remain right here.

Supplied with the wisdom earned from the past and the faith I am embracing that it will all work out, I can just be. Things can get hairy, or seem that way. But as a friend shared, “give it an hour and see where it has taken you.”

If that first one wasn’t enough, I give it sixty more minutes. Maybe another. I don’t try to convince myself that this is gonna be just like that time twenty years ago and slap my forehead because I should have seen it coming.

I just try my absolute best to remain.

Right here.

And be.

Talk about serenity wrapped up in the comforter of genuine peace.

Nothing quite like being in that place.

Truly changing my life.

Granted by the gratuity of presence.

No skill involved.

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Daily writing prompt
What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do?
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Perhaps this is more a generational thing than it is a basic skill.

It was something I learned to rely upon through out my career and became my go to when I just need to connect with another. Whether on the clock or off.

That “skill”?

Just talking on the phone.

And then?

This one is really scary.

Doing that in person.

A COLD CALL.

I recall when I first started on the road, coins or a credit card number and finding a payphone came into play big time. That was the only way you could advise them you were early, late, needed to reschedule or just plain lost.

If you couldn’t connect? Cold call. Just stop in and talk to the first person you see, Ask them for their help.

Despite the sounds of that, you actually got to know another person that way. Recognizing not only their voice when they picked up, but tone, demeanor and personality. You got the opportunity to get to know the man or woman talking on the phone with you. Even if it went to voicemail, those unwritten rules of engagement assured a call back. Or a chance to at least play tag.

Cold calls are even better.

You get to actually look someone – anyone – in the face and start a conversation. Try your best to put them at ease and open up. Describe the help you seek and who might be best suited to do so. Smile. Crack wise. Just be you.

These days, it literally throws people off if you call. Worse yet? Stop in unannounced.

An email or text merely serves to deflect any true interaction. How ’bout letting Al craft emails because time is so preciously dire or tack on some inane emoji to create the impression of currency and leading edge? Either will make the opportunity for honest and lasting communication ever less likely.

Want to follow up on something?

Try and schedule an appointment?

Need some information?

Ask a pressing question?

Refer someone to another?

Seek some help?

Send it Gmail so you can just wait. Better yet, tap it out on your phone so you can fixate on your palm for the next 24 hours.

Or?

Give them a call.

Hop in the car and just stop by.

Let them get to know you.

Get to know them.

The basics of life.

No skill involved.