Tag Archives: mental-health

Connecting with everyone I can.

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Daily writing prompt
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
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Well, waking up each morning is certainly dandy.

I will continue to appreciate that gift for as long as I am able and given it. No matter the current state of mind, body or soul, just getting to do that is a great start. Then, you get to make the most of it after that. And if things work out, you will get another.

Once I get things situated so my best friend has all she needs to teach and lead for the day, I get to head to church for communion service or mass. An opportunity to just sit and take in all I have been gifted, with an attitude of gratitude. Gather in a sense of belonging to something much bigger than myself with all those around me. Talk about happiness.

Through my vocation, I get to engage happiness in many forms It might be I n the form of job development for individuals with diverse abilities. Coaching basketball and power lifting for Special Olympics provides a limitless supply of happiness. Throw in some football coaching in the fall, and then it comes at me from all directions.

Once her day is over, teaching is done, and mediation determines the menu, we get to make dinner together. We try all sorts of different dishes, whatever just so happens to be the flavor of the day. These recipes are always two plus servings worthy, and great eaten cold, right out the fridge the next day or so. But the best part is that we can do it together. Mingle in some dancing and that takes happiness to the next level, joy.

Lastly, the interaction which guarantees pure joy, is being able to connect with my kids and grand kids. We might get a group text for a movie or game that lasts through the night. the latest video of Cal taking steps, Molly laughing or Amelia running with the football. Might just be catching up some afternoon at home, over dinner, on a walk or simply talking on the phone. Any way we do it and go brings this one joy.

So if you take a step back and take a second glance, you will find that ach of these examples are contingent on one main ingredient. The source of all happiness and the pure joy which follows.

Connection.

Sure, there might be an aspect of these examples that can bring me happiness just because I get to do them. But if they do not involve another in some shape way or form, then where does that get you?

Does taking a walk alone or working out at PF lack connection? Not in my estimation. In the former, you are experiencing a neighborhood, house by house, yard by yard. At PF, there is eye contact, “are you using this?” or absorbing the energy of another in how they work out.

Even now, as I peer out the kitchen window and rap this out, what sense of happiness or joy would it provide if I merely added the last period, closed the Chromebook, turned off the mouse and put ’em in the drawer?

So that being said, what are the five everyday things that bring you happiness?

Connecting with everyone I can.

For free.

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Daily writing prompt
What job would you do for free?
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To answer, I would first have to address some verbiage and perspectives I hold that are consistent with this query. This stoic makes everything a job. Bet you didn’t see that coming.

I cannot say for certain that my mind goes to “job” when it comes to work or employment. Maybe it’s the connotation that steers me in another direction. A ‘”job” is what you have to do. Something more severe than an assignment. The harsh side of obligation. Being spent in an arduous, boring transaction that only renders cash.

“….a regular, contracted activity or piece of work performed in exchange for payment, serving as an individual’s role, task, or position of employment. It is the specific, often repetitive, set of responsibilities and duties an person holds, distinct from a broader career or profession.”

I don’t look at things that way. Like “I have to go to work”, or “I have to find another job”, You get to do a lot of things in life, and this is just another part of living it. I have been fortunate to have remained engaged in employment my entire life. In some situations, those around me asserted I was not making enough, was worth more, and was working for free.

The self worth aspects of that are being addressed as we speak.

But when the work engaged me in areas other than my wallet, I think I thrived in that environment. It was never a job at that point. It was fulfilling, affirming and necessary. So in that regard, I probably did work for free, or some modicum of charity.

Cannot recall the year, but I used to push my parents lawnmower and gas can around the neighborhood and cut lawns. Learned how to paint houses. Then pumped gas, learned how to check oil, then change oil and fill tires. Unloaded trucks and loaded butcher tables at a meat processing business.

Cleaned hospitals.

Learned to drive stick in a 10 ton dump truck to pick up gravel and ashphalt to patch streets and curbs in my hometown.

Sold appliances. Then into the business world of manufacturing and distribution. Now job development and coaching for those with diverse abilities. Looking into some other areas for engagement and enrichment. Hospice care? Maybe more writing. Who knows.

Everyone of these “jobs” had elements of charity in them. Where I did things off the clock. For free. It is just how I have always rolled. Now? I am never really off the clock. But as long as I can give something back, that is compensation enough. It may not swell the check book. But sure does so for the heart and soul.

So very, very long story short, in my stoic noggin, I have really never had a job. I just like to give my time, talents and treasures in a variety of manners, wherever, to just live my life. No rhyme or reason really. Sort of off the cuff. Never went to college to be anything other than an athlete. The degree just came along with the arthritis.

Has always been make it up as I go.

Things may have been tense and rocky at times. But it all worked out. And will continue to do so. That brings with it a great sense of freedom and serenity. If there happens to be a paycheck involved, then so be it.

But until then, I will keep working as I always have.

For free.

Now that is needed.

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Daily writing prompt
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?
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Over the years, a way sort of presented itself to me.

So I just went with it.

Of late, after I am sure I am breathing, I then have to ensure limbs function. Shuffle off to Buffalo, start coffee, concoct a liquid IV for my best friend and gather her backpack and thermos together. I like to pack her car early so she can just focus on getting ready for a day of teaching. That is plenty to think about.

If it is garbage day, they get rolled out. Make the bed. Make sure sink is empty. Then if I need to start fast, off to communion service by seven. If there is room, then off to morning mass a quarter after eight. In between, if time allows, then daily prompt. If not, then onto the day.

I once read that if at minimum you make your bed, then despite how the rest of the day pans out, you have accomplished one thing.

Bet you never guessed I make hospital corners.

So many things I attend to take time and investment to blossom. Sort of the path I have chosen to travel. So I will gladly accept healthy modes of instant gratification whenever possible. Like weeding. In thirty minutes, you can change the appearance of a flower bed. In three minutes, the appearance of your bedroom. In one, the kitchen.

Nothing nit picky about these whatsoever. The tone is set, the momentum gathers and you can ride that wave for the rest of the day. Same with ending it. Closing ceremony routine there. Maybe that is the next prompt?

Maybe it has been termed “routine” because it is something needed. But it doesn’t feel as such.

It’s just life.

And its simple joys.

Now that is needed.

That is my goal.

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Daily writing prompt
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
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Boundaries are a quandary for this guy.

Hence, “no” is harder for me to utter than supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It would actually be fantastic or wonderful to decline more often than I accede. But alas, that is still a work in progress.

As far as its impact on goals are concerned, I think uttering “no” isn’t a goal protectant as much as it is a personal protectant.

In terms of striving for a goal, a firm “no” here and there could provide help for one to maintain intention, focus and momentum. If not possible, it’s been my experience that a set back here and there actually add to the end accomplishment. More intensity becomes the weapon of choice to get back in sync and finish. Plus, the accompanying zig-zags still produce valuable lessons and knowledge. Like matter, nothing is ever wasted. You just have to adapt to the changes in form.

As in the case of the goal, a personal protectant “no” issued from a point of self-honesty, -awareness and -love could very well add to what is yet to follow as well. Additional intensity in this case is not the requisite. Copious amounts of self-acceptance can help reset the tone. You still have an opportunity to learn, but now it can be absent the pressure to over-perform and represents a chance to remain fully in the moment,.

In terms of striving for, lets call it personal well being, a well placed “no” would actually halt a perceived obligation that you feel you need to keep giving “what you no longer have”, “are no longer able”, or that “you never could in the first place.”

If your intention is to maintain a modicum of peace and serenity in your life and soul, then “no” is a start. Despite the fact that something inside may press you to pack that word away permanently, it is not a sign of selfishness to stick up for yourself, know when the tank is depleted and simply say it. Then take five. Or ten.

It is very difficult for me to say those two letters together.

I wrote the book on boundary-less over-functioning. (lots of hyphens in this one. yikes!) Not sure how the compulsion began, where I found it or why I need to be that way. But it sure taught me some tough lessons. Bruises remain. But I am healing.

To frame it as I did regarding goals, saying “no” needs to be expressed when you finally just can’t. You can ultimately maintain intention, focus and momentum that carries you to bigger and better things not just for you, but for all.

So I can still be there for those that are in need.

But I have to be aware that mine are important too.

And keep it that way.

That is my goal.

Finally just me.

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Daily writing prompt
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?
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Honestly, I do not think this can really be considered a secret skill or ability. For me, it is akin to something more along the lines of self-honesty. Coinciding with that all elusive power, a better sense of self-awareness, more self-discipline and finally, some much needed self-love.

I think the latter three tend to nourish the former one. All four woven into one, becoming a constant source of health, acceptance and peace. Alas, for the most part, all are of more recent vintage. They seemed to have been missing for quite a while.

Because now that I look back at things, perhaps the original secret skill or ability was an altogether all encompassing pattern of self-deception.

If you go about things convinced you know what you are doing, you are right, and you really do not have to listen as much as you speak, well, that pretty much says it all. The only thing I actually lacked was a costume. A piece of garb I could jump into when my secret skills were in operation and out there for full display. That would have completed the charade.

Wait.

I was kidding about the uniform. Didn’t really need to change into something else to make that ability stand out and command attention. It was already fairly evident. Come to think of it, a cloaking device would have been handy. Some method I could employ to actually hide from my innate ability to employ them on a daily basis. Just wonder why I never saw what I am sure was obvious to those around me.

Hence the need for better self-awareness. But I digress….

There is a serenity and peace to be found in intentionally engaging in self-honesty. Opens all sorts of doors that had been nailed and/or bolted shut pretty much through out my existence. If you actually acknowledge self-honesty as a valued character trait in lieu of a mortal combatant, the awareness follows.

Guarded by discpline.

All nourished by some genuine love for one-self.

What blankets you then is a protective sense that you are worthy and valued just as you are becoming. Talk about serenity and peace. Man. If there is a secret ability, then that is what I found to be the one for me.

I can just be.

Nothing secret.

Finally, just me.