Tag Archives: mental-health

Especially this version.

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Daily writing prompt
Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.
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Let’s just say I am not risk adverse.

I am open to trying things, failing, learning and then going back to square one. Not that my risk involves big things like investments, flipping properties, flying a plane, things like that.

But now that I think of it, my dad – “Doc” – learned to how to fly an old Piper with his dad as the copilot, at age 11. I think he had his sights not only set on the horizon but on Guinness as well. My understanding is that someone beat him by a few months.

Then me, my brothers and Charlie from down the block followed Doc’s footsteps and tried it around middle school I will say, by baking the worlds largest cookie. My dad’s dad – a baker – got us connected to a place and we made king size Hollywood Bar. 8′ long x 3′ wide and about 18′ thick. Donated it to a senior center. Didn’t make the Guiness Book but our story showed up in the Chicago Daily News, That clipping is buried in a bin.

Back to risk.

Learned to drive stick in a ten ton dump truck. Operated a jack hammer and paved streets. Played college football just because. Rode in centuries, ran half marathons, worked out daily and flipped a tractor tire up and down a football field at 60.

Renovated a two flat. Helped with a start up manufacturing company, hit the road to sell its services. Left a financially sound company to work for one going through bankruptcy and buying others in the same condition. Dropped my forty some year sales and operations career to coach individuals with diverse abilities.

Wrote. Spoke.

All provided the giddiness I spoke of a post or so ago. And all that can happen is that you goof up and you you cannot pass Go or collect $200.

While those aspects and examples of my love for it continue to move forward, there is another risk I assumed. It is still taking form as it works in reshaping me and my life. I won’t go into detail at this point. I want to. It is just not the time. But let’s just say that there is greater risk to contend with should I abandon this one I recently embraced.

I am not risk adverse.

Especially this version.

So they can be giddy too.

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Daily writing prompt
What makes you nervous?
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Getting a better grasp on myself these days has been a blessing in more ways than one.

Nervousness was born of my tendency towards over-functioning. The need to be all for everyone at the expense of not only myself, but ultimately them as well. For if one has assumed the life role of being the “over” component, then those they are connected to may choose to be the “under”. Potentially harmful in both directions.

To be honest, part of what fuels me is the nervous energy that accompanies activity, demanding days, taking the first swing at something and venturing into uncharted territories. Maybe that is the breed of butterflies I have grown fond of, as alluded to in prior tomes. I guess I just enjoy that giddiness.

But as I have begun figuring out some of the personal mechanics that led me to the “over” side of the equation, I am now cognizant of those situations and able to quell the reflex action to function as such. Nothing like taking a step back and surveying the moment. There is another important facet of this healing process. Come to genuine terms with what happened and let what hasn’t arrive on its own terms. Just stay present. That is where you are meant to fully be.

Since the “fixing” veil has been lifted, I am now becoming aware of another way of looking at those situations. No longer is it about fixating on my nervousness about taking charge, but rather recognizing and embracing another’s nervousness, trepidation and woe about their own situation. Finding the means to become more sympathetically supportive. Developing a genuinely deeper empathy. And ultimately, providing them with the love they need to overcome their hurdles and obstacles, real or imagined.

I now see my vocation from a different perspective these days.

I thought I would never use this over employed jargon from business again for as long as I lived. Ranks right up there with KPI’s and “open the kimono”. I just broke out in hives thinking about it. Well, here goes. Pass the Neosporin.

Let’s just say, my paradigm shifted.

For life.

So as such, how I choose to spend my remaining time is going to as well. I may seek another field of play. Yet nothing to be nervous about whatsoever. Finally getting a glimmer of one’s purpose and following that path is meant to move one toward fulfillment. Bringing a long with it a giddiness to enjoy and savor.

For now, my focus will be on helping others in shifting theirs as well.

On their terms.

So they can be giddy too.

Until you did.

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Daily writing prompt
How do you unwind after a demanding day?
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I don’t think it is so much how you end it as you begin it, on that day.

Getting out over your skis the night, day or week before will only act to consume your energy, replacing it with anxiety. Looking back to not recall similar circumstances but to focus on your shortcomings “the last time”, will only serve as a distraction and the foundation for an excuse. Living in your frontal lobes or the back of your skull does not work.

Yet if you choose to view this supposed adversity coined “a demanding day” as an opportunity, then the only butterflies you may sense will be the breed of excitement and anticipation, not dread and doubt. They can charge your batteries like pre-game jitters. The “can’t wait to play” variety.

Presence is truly the one and only demand of such a day. Remaining fully in the moment asserts your talents and effort directly upon the task at hand. Miscues, mistakes and misconceptions can then be dealt in a fully positive and genuine matter.

But the moment you scale things backward to validate low esteem, prove this isn’t for you and provide the bedding for some well earned self pity, then of course, you will fall. Same thing applies for pressing forward past completion, in anticipation of controlling things that don’t even exist in this moment.

Being present is fertile ground for learning, adapting and growing into something you never considered but only imagined. Only then can one hundred percent of you be fully apportioned into this adventure. Doing so assures that there will be more of you to emerge from the challenge than you what you were going into it. Not one thing is wasted. All is consumed to feed to the finished product.

Not the results of the demanding day.

But how it resulted in you.

There was a phrase I used to share on the field with the team that says it in a far more succinct fashion:

“Things don’t happen to you. You happen to them.”

That being so, they will need the time to unwind, because you were on them all day. That should certainly bring a smile and pause to be able to look back at it in that fashion. Where you began and how you chose to finish it.

They all thought they were gonna happen.

Until you did.

Connecting with everyone I can.

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Daily writing prompt
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
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Well, waking up each morning is certainly dandy.

I will continue to appreciate that gift for as long as I am able and given it. No matter the current state of mind, body or soul, just getting to do that is a great start. Then, you get to make the most of it after that. And if things work out, you will get another.

Once I get things situated so my best friend has all she needs to teach and lead for the day, I get to head to church for communion service or mass. An opportunity to just sit and take in all I have been gifted, with an attitude of gratitude. Gather in a sense of belonging to something much bigger than myself with all those around me. Talk about happiness.

Through my vocation, I get to engage happiness in many forms It might be I n the form of job development for individuals with diverse abilities. Coaching basketball and power lifting for Special Olympics provides a limitless supply of happiness. Throw in some football coaching in the fall, and then it comes at me from all directions.

Once her day is over, teaching is done, and mediation determines the menu, we get to make dinner together. We try all sorts of different dishes, whatever just so happens to be the flavor of the day. These recipes are always two plus servings worthy, and great eaten cold, right out the fridge the next day or so. But the best part is that we can do it together. Mingle in some dancing and that takes happiness to the next level, joy.

Lastly, the interaction which guarantees pure joy, is being able to connect with my kids and grand kids. We might get a group text for a movie or game that lasts through the night. the latest video of Cal taking steps, Molly laughing or Amelia running with the football. Might just be catching up some afternoon at home, over dinner, on a walk or simply talking on the phone. Any way we do it and go brings this one joy.

So if you take a step back and take a second glance, you will find that ach of these examples are contingent on one main ingredient. The source of all happiness and the pure joy which follows.

Connection.

Sure, there might be an aspect of these examples that can bring me happiness just because I get to do them. But if they do not involve another in some shape way or form, then where does that get you?

Does taking a walk alone or working out at PF lack connection? Not in my estimation. In the former, you are experiencing a neighborhood, house by house, yard by yard. At PF, there is eye contact, “are you using this?” or absorbing the energy of another in how they work out.

Even now, as I peer out the kitchen window and rap this out, what sense of happiness or joy would it provide if I merely added the last period, closed the Chromebook, turned off the mouse and put ’em in the drawer?

So that being said, what are the five everyday things that bring you happiness?

Connecting with everyone I can.

For free.

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Daily writing prompt
What job would you do for free?
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To answer, I would first have to address some verbiage and perspectives I hold that are consistent with this query. This stoic makes everything a job. Bet you didn’t see that coming.

I cannot say for certain that my mind goes to “job” when it comes to work or employment. Maybe it’s the connotation that steers me in another direction. A ‘”job” is what you have to do. Something more severe than an assignment. The harsh side of obligation. Being spent in an arduous, boring transaction that only renders cash.

“….a regular, contracted activity or piece of work performed in exchange for payment, serving as an individual’s role, task, or position of employment. It is the specific, often repetitive, set of responsibilities and duties an person holds, distinct from a broader career or profession.”

I don’t look at things that way. Like “I have to go to work”, or “I have to find another job”, You get to do a lot of things in life, and this is just another part of living it. I have been fortunate to have remained engaged in employment my entire life. In some situations, those around me asserted I was not making enough, was worth more, and was working for free.

The self worth aspects of that are being addressed as we speak.

But when the work engaged me in areas other than my wallet, I think I thrived in that environment. It was never a job at that point. It was fulfilling, affirming and necessary. So in that regard, I probably did work for free, or some modicum of charity.

Cannot recall the year, but I used to push my parents lawnmower and gas can around the neighborhood and cut lawns. Learned how to paint houses. Then pumped gas, learned how to check oil, then change oil and fill tires. Unloaded trucks and loaded butcher tables at a meat processing business.

Cleaned hospitals.

Learned to drive stick in a 10 ton dump truck to pick up gravel and ashphalt to patch streets and curbs in my hometown.

Sold appliances. Then into the business world of manufacturing and distribution. Now job development and coaching for those with diverse abilities. Looking into some other areas for engagement and enrichment. Hospice care? Maybe more writing. Who knows.

Everyone of these “jobs” had elements of charity in them. Where I did things off the clock. For free. It is just how I have always rolled. Now? I am never really off the clock. But as long as I can give something back, that is compensation enough. It may not swell the check book. But sure does so for the heart and soul.

So very, very long story short, in my stoic noggin, I have really never had a job. I just like to give my time, talents and treasures in a variety of manners, wherever, to just live my life. No rhyme or reason really. Sort of off the cuff. Never went to college to be anything other than an athlete. The degree just came along with the arthritis.

Has always been make it up as I go.

Things may have been tense and rocky at times. But it all worked out. And will continue to do so. That brings with it a great sense of freedom and serenity. If there happens to be a paycheck involved, then so be it.

But until then, I will keep working as I always have.

For free.