Tag Archives: connection

Connecting with everyone I can.

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Daily writing prompt
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
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Well, waking up each morning is certainly dandy.

I will continue to appreciate that gift for as long as I am able and given it. No matter the current state of mind, body or soul, just getting to do that is a great start. Then, you get to make the most of it after that. And if things work out, you will get another.

Once I get things situated so my best friend has all she needs to teach and lead for the day, I get to head to church for communion service or mass. An opportunity to just sit and take in all I have been gifted, with an attitude of gratitude. Gather in a sense of belonging to something much bigger than myself with all those around me. Talk about happiness.

Through my vocation, I get to engage happiness in many forms It might be I n the form of job development for individuals with diverse abilities. Coaching basketball and power lifting for Special Olympics provides a limitless supply of happiness. Throw in some football coaching in the fall, and then it comes at me from all directions.

Once her day is over, teaching is done, and mediation determines the menu, we get to make dinner together. We try all sorts of different dishes, whatever just so happens to be the flavor of the day. These recipes are always two plus servings worthy, and great eaten cold, right out the fridge the next day or so. But the best part is that we can do it together. Mingle in some dancing and that takes happiness to the next level, joy.

Lastly, the interaction which guarantees pure joy, is being able to connect with my kids and grand kids. We might get a group text for a movie or game that lasts through the night. the latest video of Cal taking steps, Molly laughing or Amelia running with the football. Might just be catching up some afternoon at home, over dinner, on a walk or simply talking on the phone. Any way we do it and go brings this one joy.

So if you take a step back and take a second glance, you will find that ach of these examples are contingent on one main ingredient. The source of all happiness and the pure joy which follows.

Connection.

Sure, there might be an aspect of these examples that can bring me happiness just because I get to do them. But if they do not involve another in some shape way or form, then where does that get you?

Does taking a walk alone or working out at PF lack connection? Not in my estimation. In the former, you are experiencing a neighborhood, house by house, yard by yard. At PF, there is eye contact, “are you using this?” or absorbing the energy of another in how they work out.

Even now, as I peer out the kitchen window and rap this out, what sense of happiness or joy would it provide if I merely added the last period, closed the Chromebook, turned off the mouse and put ’em in the drawer?

So that being said, what are the five everyday things that bring you happiness?

Connecting with everyone I can.

As it was intended.

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Was able to elicit a profoundly layered perspective regarding the nature of stymieing personal challenges during a conversation this morning. It was one of those epiphanical moments that sent this stoic noggin a spinning. I am from the vinyl era, so that do make sense.

So when you are enmeshed in multitude personal issues and shortcomings that confound thought, word and deed, for whatever reason, they get tangled up, one in another. Constricting you like a leash or rope, tethering you to poor choices, deceit, ego, control, anger, resentment and strangely enough, isolation and abandonment. One would think that change in some manner or fashion would enable you to break free from this confinement with a steady, forceful pull.

Perhaps.

But if the thoughts, words and deeds remain the same, you will find yourself right back where you were before. Tied to the behaviors that led you to that personal imprisonment in the first place. Only this time, the rope maybe stronger, shorter and more painfully wrapped about your body mind, heart and soul.

Someone next to me referred to the act of unentanglement.

Coming to understand and confront what has you bound, one strand at a time. He cited that even though you may refrain from the action, the habitual self convincing approach to its continuation may yet remain. As such, each of those contrivances utilized to promulgate and perpetuate your current falsehood of a life need to be addressed, understood, cut, and dropped by the side of the road.

Period.

Maybe you can break that rope once or twice. But the fiber of its creation yet remains. Guaranteed to only come back in a stronger, more inhibiting and existence sapping manner.

But, if you break and then eliminate each strand, confinement to that way can no longer exist. Your change in your approach towards life then actually forms its own strands. Acting to extend outward, connecting you to others, healthy pursuits and affirming growth that act together, extending your reach, broadening your horizons and affirming your newly found true self.

Becoming woven into life in this manner means you are enmeshed with others.

True, healthy connection.

Ineinander.

One into the other.

Poor choices, ego, deceit, control, anger and resentment bind one up into isolation and abandonment. Cutting that cord, strand by strand, is freeing. It brings about a deeper understanding and appreciation for what you can become. No longer bound to the past, you can remain fully in the present. Abound in peace and serenity. Connecting to integrity, character, humility, joy and fulfilment.

The bond you now feel is that of respect, support, gratitude, compassion and love. One into the other.

One into living.

As it was intended.

Clothing need not ever be optional.

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Daily writing prompt
Who are your favorite people to be around?
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For reasons that are still being divined, just having people around me tends to run on the low side. Very low. Qualify that aggregation with “favorite” and that quantity begins to fall away even more.

Perhaps it just took me a while to figure out this most crucial aspect of living. A long while. Like until my mid sixties. But favorites? Yes. I have mine. While I won’t offer any names at this point, I will share what makes them so.

And it brings a smile to this German puss to be able to say that number is growing. Not by any means in leaps and bounds. More like baby steps. About the same gait as my new grandson. But progress all the same. By the time he hits two, I will be swimming in fav’s.

Being encased in my stoic exterior 24/7/365 can appear scary from the exterior I am told. But those with the veneer penetrating gaze and a “who gives a flip I am trying anyways” attitude find it unintimidating to actually get me to smile. I love to engage with others in a genuinely open, and of late, more honest and vulnerable fashion. Far deeper than the weather, dad jokes or work and working out stories.

I want to share truths and deceits, affirmations and abandonments, aspirations and the abyss, lonlieness and love, fear and faith.

Because of this, a gathering of this nature tends to be very minute. But moments with them provide a magnitude of joy rarely known in these parts. That too is changing. And makes me want to be more diligent in offering a smile and as many words I can muster.

My best friend and I have a term we use to describe this kind of vulnerable openess.

We refer to this as being totally naked.

Exposing everything there is about you to another and having them return the favor by doing the same.

In these circumstances, nothing is ever questioned, judged, diminished, shamed or regarded as a flaw. It just is.

One will be speaking their truth. The other one will be truly listening. And when that time comes and the roles begin to reverse, nothing ever changes. It can all come out. It is all received.

Anyone willing to be naked with me in this fashion are by far my favorite people to be around. And always will be.

Clothing need not ever be optional.

We seem to be together.

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Daily writing prompt
In what ways do you communicate online?
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Back in the day, I used to frequent some social media sites. For the most part, I viewed it as an avenue to coach up student athletes away from the field. As life evolved, that went away, and business centered sites became prevalent as a way to communicate ideas. That has since been hibernated.

This platform has been pretty much a constant in my life and will remain so far as I know. Emails are “ok” for work, but nothing will ever beat a voice on the phone or a face to face somewhere, some time with some body. I think that is what appeals to me about being here, with you all now, on line.

We seem to be together.

I can sit in the kitchen, wearing shorts and a warm beanie, look out the window and watch Chris and Rich hop around the yard hunting for scraps, chat about the daily prompt or whatever else works its way into my bald noggin. As close as I am likely to get to having a sit down with each of you. You would prolly want to bring your own coffee. Mine isn’t to die for, but to die because of.

Letters remain the best way to connect. Nothing will ever beat a hand written note to another. They aren’t tucked away in some e-file, folder or drive. They get opened, read, and tucked away in a drawer that is entered and exited every day. There is great joy to be found in sharing yourself with others in that fashion. A part of you is left in the ink on that page, in that envelope.

Since I became acquainted with expressing myself here, it seems to be the closest thing I found to pen and paper. Not ever a replacement. But a genuine source of warmth and connection. Hopefully for the reader. Definitely for this writer. Despite the miles and time zones, one thing is for sure.

We seem to be together.

Only if you sing your song.

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Daily writing prompt
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
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Well, my stage career began and ended with Mr. Tantillo’s 7th & 8th grade Barbershop Music classes at the Hinsdale Junior High School, about 1972 or 3 BC. I had the fortune of singing lead in a quartet that travelled as far as Milwaukee, to share “My Wild Irish Rose” when our turn came up during the program.

Heading out on that proverbial limb, I think it was Russ that sang bass, Mike that was our baritone, and the tenor’s name? Escapes me for now. But when I remember it at 1:43 AM, I will add it in. We usually concluded our concerts with “Good-bye My Coney Island Baby”. Upon retirement when I graduated from junior high, my singing moments were reserved for “Rosalita” in college and are now preserved in the friendly confines of my car with my friends at WXRT or the Drive.

However, since then, I have also been blessed with opportunities to create some of my own melodies in public speaking around the community. My involvement in football as a player and now a coach has afforded me chances to speak to players whether on the field at practice or at other events, share my thoughts with the staff, players and families at weekly high school team dinners and teach coaching concepts at football clinics around the state.

I also became a guest lecturer at a near by college and through my involvement as a mentor for the local Boy Scout troops, provide the earned accolades for soaring as an Eagle at their court of honor. Of late, I have had the chance to share a daily devotional with my new team and explore the spiritual essence of other readings with another close coaching friend of mine.

These daily prompts are such a treasure. They reveal things to me I just did not even consider.

Singing was scary to start. Being out in front of many with three others carrying a tune. But now that I look back, it was a sorely needed source of joy for a young man that pretty much kept to himself. Since some arbitrary test I took in grade school disqualified me from learning an instrument, having the opportunity to just sing was a Godsend. A way to express a passion I had for music. Apart from laying on the living room floor next to the RCA console, reading liner notes and playing records at “11”. Not sure what led me to neglect that path once I went into highschool. Maybe it was football that took front and center.

So the melody I have been able to share in public speaking shares the same source of passion. To articulate feelings, sensations and hopes through words. Not telling anyone what to do or how to do it. But moreso what is to be gained if you surrender yourself to that undertaking without regret. The memories it will create within those moments and for the rest of your life. How fulfilling just leaving it all out there, regardless of the outcome, can be. And is.

And when you can connect with another or others within a sea of faces and lives, you just know it.

The eye contact. The body language. The expression. You sense their presence in your melody. And within you. A feeling of connection and intimacy that just escapes description.

Exactly why you just need to leave it all out there, surrender and dismiss the possibility of regret.

How fulfilling that can and always will be.

Only if you sing your song.