Tag Archives: forgiveness

It’s all in the eyes.

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Daily writing prompt
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
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Well, I think I am already on the way.

Dad, guessing at about my age today.

Me.

Got the goatee goin’, can’t say the same for the hair.

Ten years from now?

Well, first off, I am starting to get that sense for taking more of all of it in, like he did. Its like a recalibration of sorts. Very subtle in nature. He was a guiet, old soul. Spoke only when warranted and needed. Quietly acted on others needs. Dynamics being what they were, I allowed them to assume control and didn’t expend the effort needed to know him better. A very tough lesson to come to grips with at this time in my life.

There are others too, their origins now becoming more apparent. No point in resentment or excessive rumination. Awareness, understanding and acceptance will suffice. Nothing to be excised, that just isn’t possible. They can just take solace and company with the slides, college papers and photos in the storage bins in the basement.

Now I can make the most of this moment and today. And as I surmised on my delinquently posted prompt from yesterday, I intend to fully engage in this again if given another tomorrow. There is so much to “be” right now, I can’t waste it by looking ahead. Or allow anything from before misshape and misconstrue today.

He is emitting this wonderful sense in his picture. “Vibe” doesn’t do a man from his time justice. Let’s say energy. Maybe there is a better term. His posture and eyes go together. All natural. Like “I got this”.

Mine?

You can see it was posed. Some rigor mortis. Not there yet. Remains a work in progress.

But I am ok with that. Things are coming around. Maybe it takes another ten years. A couple more after that ? Perhaps the timer goes off before hand. No clue. But however that transpires, I will keep working at it. My aim is to get to whereever he was in this picture in their kitchen.

There is a warmth despite being such a stoic. A sense of acceptance. True peace and serenity there, all for the sharing. I think towards the end, he found that his life was not only good. But right there, it is good.

You can just tell.

It’s all in the eyes.

As it was intended.

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Was able to elicit a profoundly layered perspective regarding the nature of stymieing personal challenges during a conversation this morning. It was one of those epiphanical moments that sent this stoic noggin a spinning. I am from the vinyl era, so that do make sense.

So when you are enmeshed in multitude personal issues and shortcomings that confound thought, word and deed, for whatever reason, they get tangled up, one in another. Constricting you like a leash or rope, tethering you to poor choices, deceit, ego, control, anger, resentment and strangely enough, isolation and abandonment. One would think that change in some manner or fashion would enable you to break free from this confinement with a steady, forceful pull.

Perhaps.

But if the thoughts, words and deeds remain the same, you will find yourself right back where you were before. Tied to the behaviors that led you to that personal imprisonment in the first place. Only this time, the rope maybe stronger, shorter and more painfully wrapped about your body mind, heart and soul.

Someone next to me referred to the act of unentanglement.

Coming to understand and confront what has you bound, one strand at a time. He cited that even though you may refrain from the action, the habitual self convincing approach to its continuation may yet remain. As such, each of those contrivances utilized to promulgate and perpetuate your current falsehood of a life need to be addressed, understood, cut, and dropped by the side of the road.

Period.

Maybe you can break that rope once or twice. But the fiber of its creation yet remains. Guaranteed to only come back in a stronger, more inhibiting and existence sapping manner.

But, if you break and then eliminate each strand, confinement to that way can no longer exist. Your change in your approach towards life then actually forms its own strands. Acting to extend outward, connecting you to others, healthy pursuits and affirming growth that act together, extending your reach, broadening your horizons and affirming your newly found true self.

Becoming woven into life in this manner means you are enmeshed with others.

True, healthy connection.

Ineinander.

One into the other.

Poor choices, ego, deceit, control, anger and resentment bind one up into isolation and abandonment. Cutting that cord, strand by strand, is freeing. It brings about a deeper understanding and appreciation for what you can become. No longer bound to the past, you can remain fully in the present. Abound in peace and serenity. Connecting to integrity, character, humility, joy and fulfilment.

The bond you now feel is that of respect, support, gratitude, compassion and love. One into the other.

One into living.

As it was intended.

It’s just about being.

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Daily writing prompt
Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.
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To be honest, there are two long lingering items residing on that list. Not an actual list per se. But on that Post It note stuck between my ears, in what is left in that old noggin.

Self-forgiveness is something that has not ever really been addressed. One of those things I guess you don’t feel you have earned for some reason. Don’t deserve. Or just not necessary. But over the course of a lifetime, that hyphenated necessity can take on quite the mass. Slooping the shoulders and neck. Wreaking havoc on perception. Leading to bad choices and even badder habits.

We all fuck up. That is just a given. And in the grand scheme of things, somehow its sibling given has to be not only contrition, but what needs to come after. Self-forgiveness. My sense is that when you are finally able to crack open the armor, grace finds its way into that mess beneath, bringing with it peace, healing and most of all, forgiveness. Upon sensing that, you may do a double take.

“Was that for me?”

Yes, it is. And as such, you too can start to forgive yourself. With that, the mass begins to shrink. Shoulders and neck return to the proper posture. There is a greater clarity in things, accompanied by a true vision. Choices are now made to live. Habits now bring joy.

Which brings me to the other resident on that Post It; taking care of myself.

Simple things. Develop a relationship with health care professionals. Leave social media and news to the masses. Get back to the gym. (Still figuring out how to fit it into the schedule.) Read. Find and follow that true vocation. Be present. Love. Let go, and let God.

I know. You all knew where this was going. But I just wanted to share it. I am leaving that Post It right where it is. Not as a mode of being pecked by a hen. But just as a healthy reminder. That I am forgiven, so I should then do so for myself. And just take care. There are sunrises to see, so many flowers and ‘maters to be grown, books to be opened, masses to attend, health to be improved, kids and others to coach and prompts to be written.

It really isn’t about being on a list.

It’s just about being.

“I love you”

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Daily writing prompt
If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?
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Once I embarked on my journey towards faith, two things were revealed. One, that the story would remain a constant, following a path that shared the seasons. This brings with it a sense of peace and serenity, knowing the way. But more stunning to me is the fact that along each step of the way, I become aware of something new, different and touching.

Perhaps it is how the story is told, through a multitude of voices, perspectives and experiences that provides greater impact and deeper meaning. Add to that the fact that the moments and revelations shared were not of this century, the prior, or even millenia. They were uttered or written long, long ago, spoken in to others with ancient tongues and dialects, detailed with reed and papyrus. And yet, at this instant, they maintain a revelance and power far beyond anything today.

Just over the past few days, John speaks of the difference of being one of the world and being one of God. How our infirmities and debilitation is fostered, raised and enhanced by things all around us. Being caught up in these concerns, like resentment, ego and self-righteousness, takes one down a ruinous path, speaking from my own experience. But upon letting go of things born of the world around you, an altogher different life takes hold. In a comforting, sustaining and altogher safe way.

His only son was sent here to teach all of us how to live and to love. When you feel as though there is nothing left for you, that you are worthless, unvalued and ruined, you can leave this world behind. Not in a hopeless manner. But in a hope-full approach. So as to truly be what you were made for, with true intention, trust and the knowledge that you are loved steadfastly and singularly.

We may be on the earth for now, but by no means does this require us to be of this world. We have the free will to choose.

And finally, to just live.

So if I had a billboard?

How about this:

“I love you”

Have a wonder-full ’26!!!

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Daily writing prompt
What makes you feel nostalgic?
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When I come across these assignments, I tend to look up the origin of words. Just because. I think it is part of my creative process. A venture that has grown to its own level of prominence of late. To learn where it came from, how it was first used and what it became over time connects myriad dots and thoughts. My ever evolving creative process.

So on my way to that, I see that it rhymes with “myalgia”. Pain in one or more muscles. May sound odd, but some of the memories that arrive under the guise of nostalgia, are evident in the pain that seems to remain to this day. Not so much about regret. More so a feel good variety, that takes one back to some stellar moments.

Delving ever deeper, nostalgia was born of the Greek word, “nostos” meaning to return home, and, “algos”, or pain. Returning home to pain. I guess that is one way to look at it. But in this instance, not what this is going to be about. But I digress….

“Nostalgic” can be taken from a half full or half empty perepective. Similar to “reolution” this time of year. Wait, this time last year, because those would have been completed by now. Right? Right. But for what ever reason, my sense is that nostalgia seems focused on what has passed and is now gone, just like resolution is tied to what is not yet to be yet expected to take place all the same. Neither of which seem to have any connection to the present. A sad state of affairs.

If I look back on those nostalgic moments, yes, I can relive the joy that I felt at the time, being a part of our connected to an event or a time that has become a part of my very being. And yet, what is to say that those instances cannot be recreated and re-expereinced again? And again? And then, again? There is nothing that states they are reserved for that one hour, on that day, in that year, when Jupiter was in collusion with Saturn and Io was being shy and hiding because Orion had him in his sights. What was it about those times that can be remade now so that you no longer return home to pain, but recreate the sustaining sustenance of pure joy?

Maybe that is where resolve becomes part of the equation. Not the noun, the end game when we celebrate almost making it happen in ’26 but “honestly” adding it to the to do/bucket list of ’27. But the verb, to act in a committed and intentional manner so as to make the most of each and every moment from this point forward. Just imagine the nostalgia that can be made and added to the collection. Not just to be kept packed away with the LP’s, 8-tracks, cassettes and CD’s in the basement storage area. But literally moments that can captured daily on bluetooth. Played everywhere and at anytime.

So yes, I feel nostalgic about some of the times in my life. I talk to my small circle of friends, not often enough. I spark accomplishment and achievement in others, then witness their joy when the planets and constellations align. Connecting the dots between similar moments in my existence and theirs. Recreating them so to speak, re-experiencing the joy of those wonderful and wonder-full moments.

So let’s just say this. It can be a return home to something other than pain. But only if you resolve to stay right where you are and live as you were meant. Nothing but peace, serenity and true joy resides there.

Have a wonder-full ’26!!!