Tag Archives: jesus

I sure didn’t.

Posted on by
Reply
Daily writing prompt
What was the best compliment you’ve received?
View all responses

So just a little bit about me first.

Maybe I share the same boat with some of you. Pulling an oar of low or no self esteem. Little or no awareness of self worth or value. Throw in a modicum of shame to go along with it. Maintaining an unhealthy reliance on others to determine these for me, because after all, they know better than I. Right?

So when you go about things like that, life turns out pretty much circular if you can picture it. Until someone chooses to climb aboard, take up the one on the other side, and row along with you for a bit. New waters. Different view of the horizon. Testing endurance. Working together towards a shared vision. As one. Blessed to say the occupancy on my vessel has grown of late.

You probably can guess what patriarchal pun is destined to follow that last sentence.

To me, compliments take on a different form. They aren’t so much made up of just words. They go far deeper than that. I view them as intention. A truly authentic giving of one into another, residing in trust, compassion and honesty. Putting another’s value and worth on display through thought, word and deed. An intentional proclamation of what another truly means to those about them.

Sorry, getting a little windy out here.

So last night, at our pizza gathering for the basketball season, a young man literally ran across the gym and just about bent me in half with a jumping bear hug. I work with him twice a week as it is and we make things happen together. But he hugged me yesterday like he hadn’t seen me for years. Just because. No words were involved, but that was a compliment I will not soon forget.

Years ago, a pillar of youth sports in our community thought I should hop on board and help steer the football program for the families here. His faith in me and who he saw from afar complimented the person I was desperately searching to find. His compliment changed my life. And to this day, I remain a coach.

A young man asked that I might come to speak to his team in the hopes that they would figure out how to grow closer together in intention, trust, faith and fellowship. I am still giddy about that night and how I still feel about becoming a part of them.

And when she can, my best friend and partner employs her gift of creation to make the best recipes that are good for me for all of the right reasons. Just because.

Others around me just reach out because they have a spot open on their boat. And the circular journey they are on may be a perpetual revisitation to the shores of Depair, Worthlessness, Emptiness and Isolation. A trip I took. Places I know all too well. Destinations they do not deserve if I can help it.

Had I been able to see compliments in this fashion before, I would have taken them more to heart.

Having teammates that wanted me to be their captain, twice.

A business owner picking me out of the blue, literally off the street to represent his company.

A fellowship asking me to help lead.

Being able to have you read my thoughts.

And of late, finally hearing His voice tell me I am worthy and calling me to come aboard.

A compliment isn’t so much “hey, did you lose weight?” Or, “you look good in that car.”

I am coming to realize that they consist of very few or absolutely no words. They are gifts another gives you because you are truly worth it in their heart, mind and soul. They value the genuine connection that exists so they share themselves with you. They see who you truly are, even if you are blind to that view.

They want you in their boat. Or are more than happy to come aboard yours and pick up the one next to you.

Who ever thought wanting to row with another was such a fulfilling compliment.

I sure didn’t.

.

And therein lay the healing.

Posted on by
Reply

This morning’s gospel John 5:1-16, was broken down into an amazing insight.  At least for this guy.  You can always read the words but unless deeper perspectives from others are offered and shared in a meaningful way, you may find yourself living in quite the linear manner. 

The intention within this biblical discourse is apparent.  But when other ways of looking at this particular interaction at a healing pool in Bethesda are provided, the connection takes on a whole new mass.  It truly reflects what the name literally means, “house of mercy, or grace.” 

“Do you want to be well?”

The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; while I am on my way, someone else gets down there before me.”

Father pointed out that the man, invalided for thirty-eight some years, did not answer His question.  Instead, he went on to describe his life, wrought of isolation, abandonment and hopelessness.  Not just that I have no one to help me into the pool, but pure and simple, “I have no one”.  

Father suggested that perhaps when he was younger, family may have helped him move about to partake in some of these healing moments in the water.  But now, approaching the middle of his life, he is essentially by himself. 

Alone.  

“While I am on my way, someone else gets down there before me”, emphasizing the utter disregard of others and his worthlessness to society. 

Imagine that.

Not just crippled for life, immovable and unable. But deemed unneeded, untouchable and unloved.  Being so crippled by that horrific experience that he didn’t even hear the question posed.

And it wasn’t asked a second time either.  He just healed him and sent him on his way.  Too bad some of that healing didn’t waft its way over to the clerics admonishing him for having the audacity to carry his mat, for the first time in his life, on the sabbath. 

Crippled may carry with it the connotation of strictly physical limitations.  But it may come to impart its will on one’s mental or emotional state.  Perhaps even spiritually.  It can be an all inclusive state.

So while He mended his body, He truly mended the man’s spirit.  Giving him life in more ways than one. We are all asked to do the same.  To be there for others.

One way alms were described to me was to simply give of yourself.  Your time.  Your empathy and compassion.  And therein lay the healing. support.  Your love.  Your presence. All forms of personal wealth we can access and share abundantly without ever breaking the bank.

So when you find yourself in a house of grace, do your part to offer alms of healing as best as you can.

You will never be expected to say ““Stand up, take your mat and walk.”

That is what He does. 

But you can definitely listen with true compassion, offer them support and love, and help them to rise from defeat and isolation.  

Simply be present for them, in that house of mercy.

For He would want you to.  

And therein lay the healing.

Boy do they ever.

Posted on by
Reply

This time of year is especially wondrous for me.

I veered off this path for whatever reason some years back. If you are not present, you cannot appreciate where you are and what what you are becoming. Shiny things can appear and once they begin to catch on and command your attention, they multiply. Hiding honesty about a past and inhibiting the truth yet to be. My focus is much better. I am seeing things for what they are.

These past twenty seven days have been illuminating to say the least. Things are different. The written and spoken word have new meaning and depth. Cannot say I have the answers, but man do things make some semblance of sense. Finally. Just keep that clock ticking so I can experience more.

Please.

So, there was the story in John this week about His encounter with a man, blind since birth. I read many of the reflections shared about it and the significance and meaning of His gift. It found a home in my thoughts that have since grown to become some rare and perpetual insight for this old man.

We are all of the earth. And once it is our time, to that we shall return.

But in the interim, by no means is our vision meant to be held solely to those worldly matters. Dirt for lack of a better term. I cannot speak to the man who came into being on this earth blind. But it struck me that He made a hyrdating compress consisting of dirt and His holy water and applied it directly to his afflicted vision. He wished him to be held souly to what He saw in and for him.

Those that pranced about in their costumes and “Holy” garb monitored His actions closely. Taking account of his sabbath violations and untoward behavior. Actually tending to those that needed it most no matter the penalties that would be accrued towards and against Him. Strange how they too were blind to what was really happening. Pride, position, status and most of all – ego – blend themselves into a compress of blindness all their own. Distorting sight to an appreciation of only those things to be had here. Of this earth.

So the man of no known origins, once gifted his heavenly mud pack, was then sent to Siloam. To bathe and allow the waters to cleanse him. Baptismal in nature? A washing away of the sins of this world, emphatically covering his eyes, so that he could finally possess sight? Not just things of this world. But actually “see” what life can be here and now, using a loving mold of His making.

To bad those adorned in the dirt of this world refused to take heed of the same exact offering. Too offensive a suggestion to remove the attire of earthly desires so they too could actually see. Chances are, many if not all of them were too blind since birth. If I can be honest, that seems to have been my challenge as well. So caught up with ego and what is made only here that I was never able to see what is given so that I may last forever. Grace that will shepard us far beyond the dirt from whence we came.

He applied it to my eyes long ago. I just never consented to listening so that I would consent to wash it away. Didn’t think I needed to. Afterall, I was in charge. Plus, it would have violated my personal sabbath rules and regimen. My pharisee-ical nature would never have allowed that.

Consent isn’t so much the correct word. It means I have control. Talk about misnomers.

Acceptance is far more like it.

Since I let go, He removed the dirt. An ongoing baptism if you will.

And with that, things sure look so different.

Boy do they ever.

As only a father could.

Posted on by
Reply
Daily writing prompt
What is the last thing you learned?
View all responses

“Chora makra”.

Well, not the last thing. But this morning when I came upon it, some things in life were no longer Greek to me.

Sorry. It’s genetic.

The parable of the prodigal son in today’s gospel according to Luke, related the story of the two sons, that in their own ways, left their father. The younger, requested his inheritance up front, bid adieu to his loving father and travelled to a “distant country” – chora mokra.

The elder, though he chose to remain at home, made the same trek, in his own way, far away from his father, also to chora mokra. Distancing himself from that unconditional love through resentment, anger and jealousy.

While chora mokra is often ranslated as “distant country”, the reflection that followed from Bishop Barron brought to mind the literal meaning in a spiritual emphasis.

“The great emptiness”.

Think about that now for a moment.

The younger son took his inheritance in advance, a slap in the face of his loving father, to splurge it on a venture laden with debauchery that only served to wrought upon him a great emptiness.

In mind.

Body.

And soul.

Meanwhile, the elder son, remaining at home out of duty, disguising ego, discredited his father’s genuine love for him and his sibling in a fit of jealous resentment. In so doing, he too found his own way into the great emptiness. Removing himself from his father and what he was gifted unconditionally, in a childish fit of spite. Bringing with its own inherent brand of emptiness.

Of mind.

Body.

And soul.

Both went their own way, literally and figuratively, to a distant country.

And both were warmly welcomed back from their chora makra.

Without condition.

As only a father could.

Even more.

Posted on by
Reply

I want you to know that the opportunity this presents on a daily or as needed basis is much desired and deeply appreciated.

Thoughts, words and actions all have their own mission and purpose, and as they are received, heard or experienced, each provides their own distinct indelible impact on life in these parts. I am still in the learning process here. By no means is this intended to be a “how to” or any derivative thereof.

Things can just be awe-full in their depth and timing. A word, some seemingly inconspicuous phrase and the thoughts they bring carry this immense fullness of awe inspiring truth. It just makes me want to share. To connect and see if anyone else has been touched in the same fashion.

Also, I may use “I” in some context because that is just how it comes out. But I also write with a great deal of “you”. Never to point a finger or single anyone out. More so calling myself “you”. Like “…hey Mark, you better be grateful that you can do this when the spirit moves you.”

Today, it was a variety of ways to discern the loving suggestion that you love not just your neighbors but your enemies as well.

I take enemy from a literal perspective. Someone trying to do you harm, physically and everything thereafter.

But in his reflection today, Bishop Barron offered two other views.

One, which is absolutely true in my my case, is that perhaps the “enemy” is someone that is just plain old annoying. And the constant barrage of annoyance while quasi damaging to your day, may actually reflect something in you that takes it as such. An honest aspect of your persona. Perhaps it is actually a confrontation to your beliefs, ego or desire for control that sets the drums of war beating.

Then, it may go a little further past your blockade, exposing an inadequacy you may have deflected, ignored or just excused. That can lead to some spirited conflicts in a variety of ways. Speaking from my experience, more so a war of attrition. No settlement can be reached in either case until you can somehow surrender to the truth about yourself.

It is possible that the enemy lay within.

What is it in you that propagates the annoyance within yourself?

And is there something within that finally needs to be addressed?

So perhaps it goes back to love your neighbor as you love yourself. And if you don’t really love yourself in all honesty. then how can you best love your neightbor?

Then there is your enemy.

Are they intent on attacking you from the outside in? Or is it a combatant that lay in wait from within? One there all along, but never acknowledged, confronted or understood. Commanding you to think, speak and act in such a manner as to bring about conflict, escalation and destruction.

Need to read more about this.

Not seeking solution this night.

But man, it sure makes me wonder.

Think.

And want to write.

Even more.