Tag Archives: empathy

So they can be giddy too.

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Daily writing prompt
What makes you nervous?
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Getting a better grasp on myself these days has been a blessing in more ways than one.

Nervousness was born of my tendency towards over-functioning. The need to be all for everyone at the expense of not only myself, but ultimately them as well. For if one has assumed the life role of being the “over” component, then those they are connected to may choose to be the “under”. Potentially harmful in both directions.

To be honest, part of what fuels me is the nervous energy that accompanies activity, demanding days, taking the first swing at something and venturing into uncharted territories. Maybe that is the breed of butterflies I have grown fond of, as alluded to in prior tomes. I guess I just enjoy that giddiness.

But as I have begun figuring out some of the personal mechanics that led me to the “over” side of the equation, I am now cognizant of those situations and able to quell the reflex action to function as such. Nothing like taking a step back and surveying the moment. There is another important facet of this healing process. Come to genuine terms with what happened and let what hasn’t arrive on its own terms. Just stay present. That is where you are meant to fully be.

Since the “fixing” veil has been lifted, I am now becoming aware of another way of looking at those situations. No longer is it about fixating on my nervousness about taking charge, but rather recognizing and embracing another’s nervousness, trepidation and woe about their own situation. Finding the means to become more sympathetically supportive. Developing a genuinely deeper empathy. And ultimately, providing them with the love they need to overcome their hurdles and obstacles, real or imagined.

I now see my vocation from a different perspective these days.

I thought I would never use this over employed jargon from business again for as long as I lived. Ranks right up there with KPI’s and “open the kimono”. I just broke out in hives thinking about it. Well, here goes. Pass the Neosporin.

Let’s just say, my paradigm shifted.

For life.

So as such, how I choose to spend my remaining time is going to as well. I may seek another field of play. Yet nothing to be nervous about whatsoever. Finally getting a glimmer of one’s purpose and following that path is meant to move one toward fulfillment. Bringing a long with it a giddiness to enjoy and savor.

For now, my focus will be on helping others in shifting theirs as well.

On their terms.

So they can be giddy too.

But theirs.

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Daily writing prompt
Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.
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Since I am involved in coaching, whether it be Special Olympics, job development for those with diverse abilities or good old football, I would have to say the first day of a season or the first meeting with a new associate is the best day. Days that really aren’t ever one and done. But moments that build and transition into other first days.

A first practice allows you to witness the work they have embraced in the off-season, weightroom, classroom, community and home. You get to see what they are beoming, the yearning to take those next steps to become something more for the team. Whether it is a scout, one that comes off the bench, or a leader that never comes off the field. As a coach, you get to help guide them along a path of their choosing. It is you that can help them see something bigger than themselves and then realize that vision.

Then if you remain connected, you can watch them do the same in college and their initial foray into the business world, whether employee or entrepeneur.

A first meeting to discuss job development is in many ways the same. You can learn of the progress they have made in their life despite their challenges. Whether they are at home, or gaining independence within a group community, you can see their excitement to learn, grow and become something more than they ever have been before.

Perhaps they start in the back of a business, learning the ropes. Maybe that gives them all the contentment and growth they need. Others may want to work there way up and out to the front. Filling in for teammates that are out or have elected to move on. Maybe they see themselves becoming the one that opens the door and turns on the lights each day.

It is coaching that takes place on other venues. It is still all about guiding them along a path of their choosing. But if you can see something bigger in themselves than they realize, you get to share that vision with them, and help them to grow into it.

It can be difficult to remember or recall all of the firsts I had throughout my life. But there is truly something to be said to be a part in those of others. For that reason, I am blessed to be able to participate in so many “firsts”.

Not so much mine.

But theirs.