“Adversity is like a strong wind. I don’t mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go. It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be.”
Arthur Golden
Adversity, obstacles, challenges and tests.
They will never be life’s exceptions. Always the rule.
You are meant to be tested. You are built for challenges – both great and small. To be pushed toward and then beyond all of your known limitations. And if you are living right, you will be pushed even harder and farther.
That is the way it is supposed to be.
How else could you gauge the temper of your mettle?
In what other venue could you reveal your character?
How would you finally “meet” yourself – and find out who you really are?
“We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”
― Thomas S. Monson
A simple yet poignant bit of wisdom on how to navigate the currents and wind that take you through life.
During a discussion earlier this week, aspects centered on responses made when an event blows in and makes its presence known in your life. Whether it was an externally generated circumstance making itself known over time or suddently – or – one generated from within. No matter the origin, how we choose to respond makes all the difference in the world.
You see, regardless of its conception and incumbent inception into your existence, what will ultimately follow hinges on how you choose to respond.
Should it happen to be a positive occurrence, perhaps the response is to make your self “as one” with it to then follow a path of fulfillment, affirmation and growth. In situations such as those, perhaps Mr.Monson’s offering, “”For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude.” applies.
But what if the event that presents itself, externally or internally, appears as a gust. Carrying with it utter calamity, the potenial for loss, harm and destruction? Perhaps not where you think you chose to be. Or worse yet, the application of poor choices, self-centered behavior and a penchant for dishonesty brought with it an ill wind.
Some time ago, a mentor fervently espoused that “adversity is never an if proposition, but always a when event.” And despite the readily negative connotations, adversity also always carrys with it the grace of opportunity. Though it may not be readily apparent, if we open ourselves and “…may we choose a positive attitude”, it will become visible.
As we moved along towards closure of the discussion, the analogy of the wind and sails was offered and with it, produced a profound and lasting resonance.
You may encounter a trade wind of sorts, beckonging you to employ a varied deployment and orientation of sails so that you may capture all of the good it brings so that you may end up where you chose to be.
Or, perhaps the contrary occurs and you find yourself colliding with a potentially self generated gale or worse. There is nothing you can do to counter that wind and force of nature other than choose to adjust and change course.
It may come to represent a pattern of gales of adversity you have had to endure, or have created, through out your life.
“Again, another share of a post from years ago, promoting the value of practice. Not just on the field, weight room, office, board room, home, community. But every where. Always and in all ways:”
The competitive nature of athletics is said to develop character.
And, it is thought that adversity’s task is to reveal it.
Perhaps.
But maybe character isn’t so much in need of development or of being revealed. Though its expectations remain high, it could be that character’s demands are much simpler to grasp.
Maybe character is just desperate to be spoken. And then, heard.
To be trusted and afforded the benefit of the doubt.
That stands to reason. Since character always knows the right thing to do and just when to do it.
And as you begin to listen, then hear, you will find yourself drawn closer towards it. Finding comfort in its embrace, a sense of purpose in its guidance and a growing courage to use it to face everything life can throw your way.
Character simply yearns to be the first, the best and the last choice you would ever make. And learning to act upon its “recommendation” puts you on a trajectory aimed directly toward your best interests.
Let’s look at it this way.
To effect tangible, positive and lasting influence on anything you choose to master, only one thing is known to work.
Practice.
If it is engineering, medicine or teaching that has captured your heart, then you put your desires to practice.
The cello? Singing arias, painting with watercolors, architecture, cooking or film? Mastery is not gained in one attempt. But in many.
It takes practice.
Is it service that calls you?
Then finding the pathway – both within and without – that will lead you there takes effort, commitment.
And, practice.
For some, athletic competition is what makes the spirit soar. To become all you intend to be, you have to employ all that you are to honor that purpose.
Through practice.
So to be able to hear, trust and embrace character’s voice?
It takes practice.
By developing good listening habits.
Getting attuned to its singular voice.
Hearing its message.
Having faith in its command and making a commitment to heeding its wisdom.
Learning to allow it to be your unshakable guide and loyal mentor.
And developing the patience to allow it to do its work.
“Towards the end of my tenure in youth football, I bought a pail, gathered some dirt and shared with the kids the idea of “rubbing some dirt on it”. A way to get past the aches and pains in all forms that accompany football and life.
The pail was set on the practice field and by the bench at each game for whomever needed or wanted some.
Seems like we can all use some dirt at some time in our life.
Below is my post to them: “
You might have noticed a pail sitting by my bags and equipment boxes today.
In that pail, lay some of the most fertile soil around. Dark, rich, 100% Lemke Park dirt. At one time, it could have been home to corn, wheat or soybeans. Perhaps even hay.
But now, it grows the best piece of grass in all of Mequon-Thiensville. Even to this day, a farm of sorts if you will. Where some of the best young men and football players in the state are grown. So it stands to reason, that because both – grass and football players – grow so well out there, there must be something about that dirt.
Not just organic.
But truly medicinal in nature.
Sure we have ice packs, tape, pro-wrap, pads and band-aids.
But we also got that dirt.
In that pail.
So the next time things don’t go your way, there are moments of anxiety, disappointment and just plain fear, take some.
If you find yourself making more than your fair share of mistakes and feeling sorry for yourself, help yourself to a pinch.
Have bruises on top of bruises? Aches ? Pains ? Scrapes? Boo boos? Or just plain worn out ?
Grab a handful and apply some to where it hurts.
Just think of what that grass goes through; getting walked on, run across, torn up, scuffed, staked, driven over, flooded and frozen each winter. And yet, it still just wants to keep coming back.
Sort of what young men and football players are meant to do too.
So when those times come – and they will – you need some. I will make sure the pail will be there. Filled with that dark, rich, 100% Lemke Park dirt.
Soil that is home to the best piece of grass in town.
Semantics, marketing and social media trends seem to somehow rule each day. It might be something oriented to draw out the athlete hidden deep within us. Maybe it is a phrase intended to bring out the leader that resides next to that athlete. Perhaps it is self defense tactics involving toxic environments and others. Or, a call to reveal one’s true character.
Now there isn’t anything off about any of these approaches. Not that they do not have relevance, sustainability or the potential for permanence. There is value to each and everyone. From my perspective, it is just that for some reason they appear to be targeted to a very specific group. And as such, the potential impact of what is being presented, said and promoted becomes so focused on one thing, that other ancillary concerns and needs are totally missed.
So as a football coach a year ago, E + R = O was presented to the program. At first glance, some apparent math equation that in our circumstance happened to be geared towards our game and conduct within it. But then, I came across this approach within some of the corporate social media I read and write about. And even more so in things that involve leadership, character, achievement.
You name it, Mr. Kight’s foundation for making the life you choose is everywhere
But now, I have started to see it from an entirely different perspective.
You can gear up things that apply to very specific targets. To become known for a prowess that speaks to a very specific audience. Perhaps some KPI. Or, since you have developed these tactics that have the potential to embrace a much wider group, perhaps it can be presented as that first, then as a dollar oriented approach.
The event plus response equals outcome viewpoint literally applies to all aspects of life. Not just athletics, business, self improvement or any other interest of the moment.
It goes far deeper than all the above.
Imagine you encounter an event in your life that beckons an urgent response. Maybe it is a health issue. A relationship challenge. Spiritual collapse. Alcohol or drug abuse. A self destructive behavior you somehow made your own. Loneliness.
All in their own right, entities not designed to fit a marketing driven collection of buzz words, phrases and such designed to attract likes, clicks and impressions. But rather, to fit into something with an altogether different gravity and mass.
An event you now face, plus the response you choose to make and how that will eventually create the outcome sought.
We all face them. We all need to respond accordingly. And then, we need to either accept the outcome, go back and amend our response and continue this assessment until the event has been overcome.
Or just accept things and call in the dogs.
Events are never trumpeted, announced or heralded. Well, not usually. And the tenor of these occurrences should not determine the fealty of the way things are encountered, embraced or enjoined.
We need merely to respond in a fashion that produces what we ultimately desire to achieve.
Whether we acknowledge it or not.
So, while an event prescribes a certain response, it may not be within our grasp to do so at this moment. It may be timing, circumstance, presence, placement or an unwillingness to accept the need for change. A stubbornness born of seeing things through your well worn rose colored specs.
Though response to an event will ultimately equate to an outcome, events and responses may be ill equipped to produce if not properly discerned, honestly approached and embraced with an element of surrender.
If you can somehow adhere to this equation at this level, all other situations will follow suit, providing the genuine, warranted and desired outcome.
Remain present in the event. Be honest with yourself about the response that is required.
...my temporary assignment. 