I am not going to attempt to assign my seat on a pedestal by claiming to know this. I typically fly economy, no pajamas, if that is even a thing anymore. I cannot speak for or to others’ view on this. But I can speak for myself and share some of the many things I just don’t understand. Sorry friends, just doing what the prompt tells me to do.
So let’s just say this, I don’t understand the privileged titling process that allows certain individuals to disregard the posted speed limit, all traffic signals, maintaining safe space between vehicles and proper lane usage on the highway or anywhere.
Maybe this is something you buy on the internet? Some kind of rewards thingee, for being cool? A sticker for your car that tells the police they can drive like this? This whole driving schtick these days has me flummoxed. But I digress….
What I don’t understand is why I allowed others to assign my value, tell me my worth and define me. All this ever accomplished was creating an internal need for me to be everything, handle everything and do everything. Oh, and be graded on my performance. Been trying to figure that one out for some time now.
Not so much on how to handle it these days, I have put in the effort to give that a dirt nap. Now it is more so noticing the red flags, recognizing the situations and sensing the phrases or attitudes that do their best to create these wonderful scenarios.
My nature though is to take it several steps farther. Determine why it ever happened and when it first became my MO. I doubt this is something that comes from the factory, preinstalled like the heated seats and back-up boob tube. I believe it was learned. And why I learned it, and what that class was really about are things I need to understand
Well, I don’t need to save quarters and look for pay phones to call clients about being lost or late.
Toll booths are gone. Parking meters?
Used to be a great way to disperse pennies. Now they are lacking in number these days,
Used to get into car, listen to radio, go to a diffferent address, talk, argue, laugh, plan and be face to face. Actually be on the floor to see something made. Helped load it onto a truck and watched them leave. Called for a tracking number. Went back and did it all over again.
Knocked on doors. Cold call.
Remote?
Now, pretty much all of that fits in my back pocket.
I came across this on the way to something else and it stuck with me.
The other day, I shared some thoughts on the need for self-honesty and how that improves self-awareness while raising up one’s self-love. A revelation that was fitting in a number of ways. Especially considering the level of self-deceit I have been engaged in pretty much throughout my life.
Since I have chosen to enjoin a campaign to address and amend as many of these instances as possible, both then and now, there comes with it a truly healing sense of peace and serenity. Profound gratitude for being guided to this self-confrontation. A moment that touched my very soul.
“Intending to” is something that can be easily dismissed. Opening up the case for lying to yourself. Over and over. Taking the easy way out. Adopting a “that’s good enough for me” stance.
Being intentional, now that is a whole different tack.
That requires truth bound by personal investment in all forms; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. In signing this pact, with yourself and others, you consent to honesty in all its forms. Trust is reborn. Passion kindled. You know to your very soul, what you can be, where it will take you and who it is you are.
And now, for once, there can be no deceit in that.
Hence, “no” is harder for me to utter than supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. It would actually be fantastic or wonderful to decline more often than I accede. But alas, that is still a work in progress.
As far as its impact on goals are concerned, I think uttering “no” isn’t a goal protectant as much as it is a personal protectant.
In terms of striving for a goal, a firm “no” here and there could provide help for one to maintain intention, focus and momentum. If not possible, it’s been my experience that a set back here and there actually add to the end accomplishment. More intensity becomes the weapon of choice to get back in sync and finish. Plus, the accompanying zig-zags still produce valuable lessons and knowledge. Like matter, nothing is ever wasted. You just have to adapt to the changes in form.
As in the case of the goal, a personal protectant “no” issued from a point of self-honesty, -awareness and -love could very well add to what is yet to follow as well. Additional intensity in this case is not the requisite. Copious amounts of self-acceptance can help reset the tone. You still have an opportunity to learn, but now it can be absent the pressure to over-perform and represents a chance to remain fully in the moment,.
In terms of striving for, lets call it personal well being, a well placed “no” would actually halt a perceived obligation that you feel you need to keep giving “what you no longer have”, “are no longer able”, or that “you never could in the first place.”
If your intention is to maintain a modicum of peace and serenity in your life and soul, then “no” is a start. Despite the fact that something inside may press you to pack that word away permanently, it is not a sign of selfishness to stick up for yourself, know when the tank is depleted and simply say it. Then take five. Or ten.
It is very difficult for me to say those two letters together.
I wrote the book on boundary-less over-functioning. (lots of hyphens in this one. yikes!) Not sure how the compulsion began, where I found it or why I need to be that way. But it sure taught me some tough lessons. Bruises remain. But I am healing.
To frame it as I did regarding goals, saying “no” needs to be expressed when you finally just can’t. You can ultimately maintain intention, focus and momentum that carries you to bigger and better things not just for you, but for all.
So I can still be there for those that are in need.
But I have to be aware that mine are important too.
...my temporary assignment. 