For most of my life, I have been my harshest critic. Choosing to look back, dissect myself, my value worth, esteem. Yada yada. Also, becoming a cultist, so to speak, following the assessment of others about me as the gospel truth.

This would in turn lead to the development of a scathing personal critique, followed by a self absorbed Teams invite involving me, myself and I, in the proverbial, but sarcastic form of a “come to Jesus” meeting. The type ego driven micro managers inflict on those lesser than themselves.

Get all that?

Then, God forbid I look ahead, destined to set the stage for yet another poor performance where lines are forgot, entry is on the wrong side and cues are never recognized or followed. I was convinced I had to live in the past, but abhor the future because, hey, I couldn’t do anything right and it would simply end up like before. But this time, not just FUBAR. But now, SAPFU. (those sterling acronyms just happened to raise their hands in my cranium. So I called on them….)

I have since embarked on a different path. One not bound up in this type of toxicity. I respect thee past and how it brought me to this point in my life. And the future? Not in my hands.

Affirming this perspective and the health that it brings across all levels, this appeared towards the end of a reading at mass the other day. Witnessed and shared by St. Matthew:

“Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.”

Followed by a closing sentence, “Sufficient for a day is its own evil”, something to the effect that each day has with it trouble of its own.

Two things strike me with a poignance all its own about his witness of Jesus and what He taught.

First, Levi was a Hebrew tax collector. The worst of the worst in that world. Unethical, ego driven, lording over others in any way, shape or form to ensure Cesar gets what he is due.

But then, their paths cross. No such thing as coincidence. Just that He is present. Then two words shared changed everything.

“Follow me.”

No need for Levi o gather up and carry a long a past. Definitely no clue or promise of what was yet to come.

Simply “Follow me”.

Maybe I am wrong, but sure seems like he felt it before it was ever said. And he became an exemplar of what He did say. For he chose to become Matthew. Knowing that would simply take care of itself.

Top tip?

“Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.”

Well said Matthew.

Well said indeed.