“But the man who is not afraid to admit everything that he sees to be wrong with himself, and yet recognizes that he may be the object of God’s love precisely because of his shortcomings, can begin to be sincere. His sincerity is based on confidence, not in his own illusions about himself, but in the endless, unfailing mercy of God.”
― Thomas Merton
As my reclamation continues and grows, I cannot help but notice how the thoughts and words I read and hear carry with them an entirely different meaning and mass. Perhaps it is an aspect of the long needed self honesty and an honest embrace of humility that brings with it this resonance. Whatever the case, each day, another epiphany reveals itself.
The daily offering from Pray.com is but one example. Each day this past week they shared something that applied directly where I was on the journey towards redemption. Filling my soul with the sustenance needed for better understanding.
“You may not see the full picture right now, but God is weaving beauty from the threads of your story. Your calling isn’t limited to your job title or circumstances—it’s about living with divine purpose right where you are. Whether you’re in a season of waiting or working, God’s call still stands.”
Patience born of a renewed faith brings with it the peace and serenity needed to hear the calling and pursue a divine purpose. Letting go fulfills His promise to us, in the form of saving grace.
A calling has no real limitations, especially given that in no way will we ever have His field of vision.
I will gladly accept his assignment, as temporary as it may turn out to be. But in doing so, I know that I will finally be where I am meant to be. Fulfilling His loving purpose.
Reclaimed and redeemed.
It floors me that thoughts expressed and documented by the Apostle Paul about 57 AD behold a clarity and exude a resonance that remains powerful and compelling to this moment. More importantly, they are more synchronous than just belonging to the present. Belief in and adherence to these lessons first shared some two thousand years ago, and a commitment to conduct ourselves accordingly effectively works to make us their contemporaries.
In many ways, these words of wisdom can help both to direct and sustain a journey towards a genuinely spiritual reckoning and rebirth.
“A ‘spiritual reckoning’ is a moment of deep self-assessment and accountability, often prompted by a significant life event like suffering or a crisis, where an individual confronts the consequences of their actions, thoughts, and beliefs.” Once you experience this on a personal level, the world begins to change for you. Maybe not so much in a material sense, if at all. But definitely, your perspective will shift more so in a spiritual aspect.
The release from dishonesty and relegating ego to its proper stature brings with it the rare reality of calm and palpable presence. Moments become redefined. Things that were baffling and seemingly powerful dissipate, their grip on you lessens.
“It involves facing a deeper truth about oneself and one’s relationship with the divine or the spiritual realm, leading to a personal awakening, a change in perspective, and an understanding of one’s responsibilities and purpose.” An awakening to the presence of grace and a deeper relationship with Him leads one to what life is really meant to be. A calling for discernment about true responsibilities and how this leads one to an understanding and embrace of purpose.
Words can become so abstract and difficult to navigate. Prone to the fetish, fantasy or fixation of the minute, the meaning of their intended construction can become obscured by ego, judgement or the current trend. But upon one’s approach to the peace that comes with a desire for repentance, metanoia as it was meant to be, their truth holds firm and their context remains as fully as it was intended.
Belief in and adherence to these lessons first shared some two thousand years ago, and a commitment to conduct ourselves accordingly effectively leads one to undertake metanoia and lean into a genuine spiritual reckoning.
A deep self-assessment and a newborn sense of accountability.
An awakening.
A life meant to be lived.
With Him.
In the midst of ongoing transformation and renewal, things can take on an entirely new mass and meaning. Prior perspectives, familiar moments, simple words can appear altogether awe inspiring. An overwhelming sense of serenity, peace and comfort. A knowing.
Grace is one such word that is utterly attuned to this state of being. Something that has been lost in translation for reasons now that just escape me. When put as such, by Thomas Merton, it now resonates to and through one’s soul:
“Grace is not a strange, magic substance which is subtly filtered into our souls to act as a kind of spiritual penicillin. Grace is unity, oneness within ourselves, oneness with God.”
A state of being with a genuine openness to be who we are in the presence of God. A true collaboration of a life together. Not as some external additive, but an honest recognition of what has always been there internally. Only needing to be opened and honored through our will to accept that level of presence and love.
It is the truest and highest form of unity.
Made possible by His grace.
Pure oneness.
Adversity may be defined mostly in terms of tangible situations or moments. But its influence can be especially prevalent in far more subtle contexts.
Like peer pressure.
To be identified as a potential member of a certain group and gain access to its inner sanctum might be viewed as an extremely important and noteworthy achievement for many people. No matter one’s age.
This venture might become so vital as a self-image and identity enhancement that making all the subsequent wrong choices are acceptable expenditures for the meager dividends expected to be earned.
And the ensuing collateral damage? Just part of the program.
Rationalization can become an instinct stronger to one than that of survival. It has the power to transform the known black and white into gradients of reasonable gray.
For once the quest for inclusion with those peers deemed “most worthy” overrides doing what is right, judgement is the first thing to be cast aside. And as thoughts, words and finally deeds dissolve into this hue, one can justify, defend and vindicate just about anything.
Undermining your better nature. Ignoring what you know is right.
Even surrendering character.
There isn’t much contrast across the choices spectrum once you cross that threshold. Decisions tend to go only in one direction; from bad, to badder, to baddest. Rationalized as some of the necessary evils that come with being “one of the boys or girls”.
The curse that begets those bountiful “blessings of being in”.
Isn’t it strange how people who seemingly have the world by the tail can still feel the tug of the herd. Despite the overwhelming value of their talents, an abundance of gifts and their inherent good nature, some “thing” seems to be missing.
Efforts at your addition with the approval from the herd, in reality can act as subtraction. A venture that can lead one to the pursuit of shallow, short-sighted, and oftentimes risky behavior. Creating a cavity within that only becomes deeper and grows ever wider the farther you get from your true self.
A brand of adversity that can be a force all its own, speaking from experience.
For this form of pressure is one of a kind.
It has no peer.
...my temporary assignment. 