Self.

In order to acquire self mastery, you first need to employ self-discipline.   

Once on the path to self mastery, your opportunities will multiply.  You will be working from a foundation built for achievement, the pursuit of excellence and eventually – success. 

Yet mastery of self  is entirely and exclusively reliant on your attitude.  

A positive attitude will provide you with safe passage. It prevents you from treading down an ever slippery slope of largely self induced emotional blackmail.  It guards you from living down to low expectations.  Protects you from acquiescing to the laws of just being average.  Settling for whatever happens to come your way.  

If you neglect to  master your attitude first – you run the risk of limiting or losing the potential that exists in you; in that moment and in the future.  

A  lack of vigilance when it comes to your attitude can turn you against yourself. 

Pitting opportunity against expediency.  

You can become your own worst enemy.  Choosing the easy way out.  

A route that has led many to react rather than respond. 

A decision to let emotion and pride rule the day.  A poor attitude can and will  run roughshod over your talents and aspirations before you even know it.  

Especially when it comes to responding to even the smallest bit of adversity. 

It can happen in an instant, perhaps in a sequence that goes something like this: 

“Crap.  

Why me?  

Why can’t anything ever be easy, or work the way I want it to?  

Why does this always happen to me?  

When am I going to catch a break. 

I cannot do this any more. 

I wish I was somewhere else. 

Why can’t this day be over?“ 

You see what can happen in the span of about 60 seconds? 

You can react and send yourself plummeting off the deep end to drown in self pity, defeatism and despair.  Yet if you can find it in yourself to respond,  to be positive, you could end up carrying  that same load in this fashion:  

“Wow! 

A challenge made just for me. 

A chance  to test myself again!

I must get all of these opportunities because I can handle them. 

When this one is over, I hope I get another chance to reveal my character.

I can do anything if I give it my best ! 

I am going to make the most of this moment !  

An opportunity like this may never come again.

I am made for this. ”

See how that can work for you?  

It is how you choose to carry it.

Respond. 

And master self.

Wind

“Adversity is like a strong wind. I don’t mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go. It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be.”  

Arthur Golden

Adversity, obstacles, challenges and tests.  

They will  never be life’s exceptions.  Always the rule. 

You are meant to be tested.  You are built for challenges – both great and small.  To be pushed toward and then beyond all of your known limitations.  And if you are  living right, you will be pushed even harder and farther.  

That is the way it is supposed to be.  

How else could you gauge the temper of your mettle?  

In what other venue could you reveal your character? 

 How  would  you finally “meet” yourself – and find out who  you really are? 

Tradewind

“We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”

― Thomas S. Monson

A simple yet poignant bit of wisdom on how to navigate the currents and wind that take you through life.

During a discussion earlier this week, aspects centered on responses made when an event blows in and makes its presence known in your life. Whether it was an externally generated circumstance making itself known over time or suddently – or – one generated from within. No matter the origin, how we choose to respond makes all the difference in the world.

You see, regardless of its conception and incumbent inception into your existence, what will ultimately follow hinges on how you choose to respond.

Should it happen to be a positive occurrence, perhaps the response is to make your self “as one” with it to then follow a path of fulfillment, affirmation and growth. In situations such as those, perhaps Mr.Monson’s offering, “”For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude.” applies.

But what if the event that presents itself, externally or internally, appears as a gust. Carrying with it utter calamity, the potenial for loss, harm and destruction? Perhaps not where you think you chose to be. Or worse yet, the application of poor choices, self-centered behavior and a penchant for dishonesty brought with it an ill wind.

Some time ago, a mentor fervently espoused that “adversity is never an if proposition, but always a when event.” And despite the readily negative connotations, adversity also always carrys with it the grace of opportunity. Though it may not be readily apparent, if we open ourselves and “…may we choose a positive attitude”, it will become visible.

As we moved along towards closure of the discussion, the analogy of the wind and sails was offered and with it, produced a profound and lasting resonance.

You may encounter a trade wind of sorts, beckonging you to employ a varied deployment and orientation of sails so that you may capture all of the good it brings so that you may end up where you chose to be.

Or, perhaps the contrary occurs and you find yourself colliding with a potentially self generated gale or worse. There is nothing you can do to counter that wind and force of nature other than choose to adjust and change course.

It may come to represent a pattern of gales of adversity you have had to endure, or have created, through out your life.

And therein lay the opportunity.

So choose to adjust.

Seek the tradewind.

And embrace where it takes you.

Practice

“Again, another share of a post from years ago, promoting the value of practice. Not just on the field, weight room, office, board room, home, community. But every where. Always and in all ways:”

The competitive nature of athletics is said to develop character.

And, it is thought that adversity’s task is to reveal it.

Perhaps.

But maybe character isn’t so much in need of development or of being revealed. Though its expectations remain high, it could be that character’s demands are much simpler to grasp.

Maybe character is just desperate to be spoken. And then, heard.

To be trusted and afforded the benefit of the doubt.

That stands to reason. Since character always knows the right thing to do and just when to do it.

And as you begin to listen, then hear, you will find yourself drawn closer towards it. Finding comfort in its embrace, a sense of purpose in its guidance and a growing courage to use it to face everything life can throw your way.

Character simply yearns to be the first, the best and the last choice you would ever make.  And learning to act upon its “recommendation” puts you on a trajectory aimed directly toward your best interests.

Let’s look at it this way.

To effect tangible, positive and lasting influence on anything you choose to master, only one thing is known to work.

Practice.

If it is engineering, medicine or teaching that has captured your heart, then you put your desires to practice.

The cello? Singing arias, painting with watercolors, architecture, cooking or film?  Mastery is not gained in one attempt.  But in many.

It takes practice.

Is it service that calls you?

Then finding the pathway – both within and without –  that will lead you there takes effort, commitment.

And, practice.

For some, athletic competition is what makes the spirit soar.  To become all you intend to be, you have to employ all that you are to honor that purpose.

Through  practice.

So to be able to hear, trust and embrace character’s voice?

It takes practice.

By developing good listening habits.

Getting attuned to its singular voice.

Hearing its message.

Having faith in its command and making a commitment to heeding its wisdom.

Learning to allow it to be your unshakable guide and loyal mentor.

And developing  the patience to allow it to do its work.

Over, and over, and over, and over again.

Putting character into practice.

The Pail.

“Towards the end of my tenure in youth football, I bought a pail, gathered some dirt and shared with the kids the idea of “rubbing some dirt on it”. A way to get past the aches and pains in all forms that accompany football and life.

The pail was set on the practice field and by the bench at each game for whomever needed or wanted some.

Seems like we can all use some dirt at some time in our life.

Below is my post to them: “

You might have noticed a pail sitting by my bags and equipment boxes today.

In that pail, lay some of the most fertile soil around. Dark, rich, 100% Lemke Park dirt. At one time, it could have been home to corn, wheat  or soybeans.  Perhaps even hay. 

But now, it grows the best piece of grass in all of Mequon-Thiensville. Even to this day, a farm of sorts if you will. Where some of the best young men and football players in the state  are grown. So it stands to reason, that because both – grass and football players – grow so well out there, there must be something about that dirt. 

Not just organic. 

But truly medicinal in nature. 

Sure we have ice packs, tape, pro-wrap, pads and band-aids. 

But we also got that dirt. 

In that pail.

So the next time things don’t go your way, there are moments of anxiety, disappointment and just plain fear, take some. 

If you find yourself making more than your fair share of mistakes and feeling sorry for yourself, help yourself to a pinch. 

Have bruises on top of bruises?   Aches ?  Pains ? Scrapes? Boo boos? Or just plain worn out ? 

Grab a handful and apply some to where it hurts. 

Just think of what that grass goes through; getting walked on, run across, torn up, scuffed, staked, driven over, flooded and frozen each winter. And yet, it still just wants to keep coming back. 

Sort of what young men and football players are meant to do too. 

So when those times come – and they will – you need some. I will make sure the pail will be there. Filled with that  dark, rich, 100% Lemke Park dirt. 

Soil that is home to the best piece of grass in town. 

And all of you.  

The finest young men and football players around.