Having an attitude of gratitude

“Gratitude is a “belief and conviction that serves as a constant reminder of what you have been given, where you came from and whose shoulders you are standing on now. “ 

It is more than a mere “thank you” and far deeper than simple appreciation. 

Gratitude is the humble acknowledgement of the extraordinary role that others have played in getting you to this point in your life. A modest recognition of how their influence first got you started. Then pushed you to keep going. And continued to encourage you to achieve whatever it was you desired.

 When it comes right down to it, gratitude is a way of being. 

Thinking, speaking and acting in such a way as to honor how others intentionally gave you all they had to give, so you could achieve, excel and succeed. Gratis. 

Gratitude is about developing a mindset that is rooted in humility. And coming to possess an “attitude of gratitude”.

So if you will, please indulge me for a moment. 

Take a look back, reflect and think of all you have been freely “given”, gifted or entrusted with by others throughout your life. Not so much in terms of things. But rather the time. Talent. Wisdom. Support. And love. Now, this is an exercise that can be a staggering undertaking if you attempt an honest assessment of such a big picture. 

So let’s just focus on one small aspect of our life. Perhaps it was as a player or coach. Something we all share in common. 

You want to talk about blessings? 

The opportunity to play at the youth, high school and college level. To learn to love that game from some great fathers, mothers, men, women, mentors and teammates. To receive the undying support of parents, siblings, extended family, friends, entire student bodies, communities and educational institutions. To be present in an environment where we can cultivate life-long friendships. To learn, accumulate and put into practice some of the most treasured lessons on life – from some of the  greatest games ever invented. And simply just be a part of all of this. 

Think about the distance we have all traveled. 

Not just in a geographic sense. But mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Where all of us first started, where we are today and the path each of us intends to follow thereafter. Consider how far we have come as a person. Friend. Son. Student. Man.Woman.  Athlete. Coach. 

Now, never would I diminish anyone’s effort, intention, commitment or role throughout any of this. 

But to be honest, where we are today isn’t so much just because of anything one of us did on our own. Rather, it all pretty much came down to what others thought of us. Saw within us. Believed in each of us. Entrusted to us. And yes, eventually, expected every single one of us to do. Because those individuals had so much faith in each one of us – first as players and then as coaches – our transformation became possible. 

They pushed each of us in precisely the right manner. Challenged us to embrace the work, to make the commitment, aim our aspirations higher and achieve at a higher level than we ever imagined. They loved us enough to carry us on their shoulders. A vantage point that reveals a bigger picture. To help ensure that our present might match what they envisioned our future to someday be. 

Even now, their all encompassing and enduring support remains. Taking us even farther and higher than ever dreamed. There is no way to repay their generosity. To compensate them for what they gave us in terms of their time, their effort, their support and unyielding faith. In a certain sense, we will forever be indebted to them. And yet, this was never a transaction, A quid pro quo. It was simply a gift. Freely given without condition. Strings or attachments. 

So it is incumbent on each of us to acknowledge the extraordinary role that others have played in getting each of us to this point in our lives. Recognize how their influence got us started. How they pushed us to keep going. And continue to encourage all of us to achieve whatever it was we desired. 

Embrace an attitude of gratitude. 

Give another all you have. 

Help them achieve, excel and succeed. 

Then, clear some room on your shoulders. 

Let them share the view you were once given. 

Gratis.


An entity unto itself.

Leadership is dependent upon individuals and it must also become independent of individuals. 

As an entity unto itself, leadership must be able to rise from the ranks autonomously, nonspecific, and as called.   Never can it be  reliant on one, two or three individuals.  But more so operate from a self-sufficient, self-sustaining and self-propagating standpoint.  Leadership  must not and cannot maintain a holding pattern until  a certain person or number of persons rally the unit, group or the team. 

Leadership is an entirely active and proactive being.  It must learn to read that moment, sense the need, respond accordingly and then rush in to fill the breach. Not at the expense of others.  But for their benefit.  Leadership is called upon to become operational instantaneously, produced independently and ultimately,  embodied permanently. 

All of which tend to be born and emanate from within.

Many factors collude to make this atmosphere thrive.  Some suggest it is contingent on a setting, “KPI’s” or culture.  But at its core, leadership is essentially  a triumvirate consisting of intense, purposeful personal investment, an empathetic approach to personal vulnerability and finally, an unflinching level of trust at all levels. Nothing that can honestly be produced on a white board. Yet with the proper approach and understanding, leadership is fully capable of creating both an inside-out and outside-in impact.

Whatever your role – coach, teammate, friend, business or community leader – there must first exist a palpable, constant and reliable flow of investment;  first into you then out to all those around you. Not just in terms of time, talent and treasure.  But rather an intense level of  true personal investment – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  A creation that will come to reveal unseen rewards in terms of growth,  achievement and potential.   

However, throughout  that process, the assets realized and experience gained are not meant to be withheld or hidden within for your benefit.  They are intended to be re-invested into all those around. All four.  Freely. Unconditionally. Without expectation of return. In the process, the raising will not be confined solely to just you.  But rather, it will ripple out to the whole. In an indelible display of the potential to be fathomed then realized. Possibilities others never considered but what it is you truly desire for those all around you. 

To become what they were meant to be.  

In the midst of this type of interaction, an element of trust will begin to emerge. A  fertile foundation for all that is desired.  Leading then to a sense of empathetic vulnerability.  

Leadership  must not and cannot maintain a holding pattern until a certain person or number of persons rally the unit, group or the team. It needs to be propagated from a self-sufficient, self-sustaining and self-propagating standpoint.

An entity unto itself. 

A temporary assignment

As mentioned, that short time we were blessed with on the LOS, passed by.  The gifts granted during those precious moments have become more central to life. It has taken time, a tremendous sense of faith, and a firm investment in  patience to see how all of this has evolved into an entity all its own.   

Purpose.  

As manifested in a temporary assignment

I am not sure how long it takes others to discern, realize and then choose to pursue a path towards their eventual purpose. I truly admire those that are able to follow their call upon hearing those words, simply trusting what is being said to them, heeding their call to pursue medicine, teaching, entrepreneurship, the Lord or whatever their vocation happens to take them. 

Yet perhaps in this circumstance – like others I will presume – the voice was there, but life in the present just got in the way.  It became muffled, reduced to a slight whisper.  Becoming overshadowed by the demands of the moment, the bright shiny objects that drew attention away and prevent actually hearing it.  

Just getting “something”, “anything” can overtake choosing a better “something”. Running from one difficult situation to another, rather than actually moving  towards something that is affirming, avoids reality. And, the truth.

Add to that, the fear that accompanies the trying that could lead to the failing. The risk of alienating those you “know”, so you can hold those you do not, close and dear to your heart. Not knowing whether you can sustain the prolonged effort and the requisite commitment to see it all through. 

And finally, deciding to move away from what you have done by rote for so long towards another calling  that continues to resonate, despite your attempt to ignore it in every way, shape, or form.  Ultimately, all of which are things that come down to choice. 

Purpose is the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. 

One’s intention or objective.  

Those pervasive, reflective  and lasting lessons learned on the LOS unknowingly provoked some long term discernment.  

What was it that they were teaching, exactly?  

How were they pertinent to life as it was ?  

Where were they designed to lead?  

How was the journey to be undertaken?  

What was the reason for heeding this call?  

And, when? 

The nature of my experience was something that needed to be shared, reinforced and spread.  The game was one thing.  But all of those in the game – no matter the level – stood to benefit from learning those same lessons.  

Developing a player could only proceed so far.  Technique, drill work, strength, speed, scheme could only go so far.  Same with game day.  

But developing the person that resided within the player supported a plethora of opportunities, possibilities and ultimately, lives.  The potential was limitless.  

Should the player learn the lessons away from the field, so they could enjoin that curriculum all year round, imagine the performance for those 9 to 10 weeks come fall!  Not to speak of it in life for the balance of that year and all those going forward.

Imagine the performance in the classroom, with their peers, in the community, within themselves by just sharing the initial insights provided me and others at the LOS! 

Like accepting and engaging the weight of all responsibilities in all manner and form, arriving on their time, yet touching every aspect of your being.  

Discovering the value of humility through promoting others. 

Freely giving of oneself without any expectation or desire of return. 

Knowing that there is much to be learned in defeat – no matter the venue – and that  your response to that event  will eventually lead you back to the outcome you desire; victory. 

Mustering oneself to embrace personal sacrifice and persevere, regardless of the cost, to improve, grow and become what you are meant to be. 

Providing empathy, care, attention and love that will ensure the safety, security and success of those all around.

Rick Warren once said that “Life on earth is a temporary assignment. Don’t forget there’s more than just this life”.  How you handle the one here, prepares you for the one to follow.  

Now that I understand, I am putting all I can into what I now understand to be my purpose. 

A temporary assignment. 

Discovering life’s passion on the LOS

The helmet and pads came off for the last time in Beloit forty-four years ago. And  to this day, I remain 65, an O-lineman. Yet true to that slice of heaven; the line of scrimmage. There were inklings back then, ongoing thoughts thereafter, followed by a steady flow of contemplation. All of which collaborated to assert one absolute truth: it is what made me who I am today. 

Now there are many aspects of the game.  Mine happened to take residence in the box. And two fundamental elements running in parallel, at two different depths, conjoined to make it the  greatest ever invented.  

First, there is the passion that circulates throughout the game itself.  

The oftentimes brutal physical nature of competition between our five and theirs. Knock down, drag out brawls on every play, in that box. Contusions, scrapes, strains, breaks, tears and blood were all part of the agreement, confirmed via handshake after the game. But without a doubt, this  was what we looked forward to in the weight room over the winter, throughout the week in practice, leading to those glorious Saturday afternoons. 

Yes it was fun.  But more so it was pure joy. The residue of which could be felt until that following Wednesday.

Then within that framework of the game, was yet another element. That something that permeated to your core; a passion for what it demanded of and from you as a person. True, it extracted from you.  But at the same token it replenished you, on a deeply personal, emotional, mental and spiritual level.  You see, being on the line of scrimmage gave back ten fold of what it took, in an unparalleled manner. 

Yes, it was a game. But it proved to be much more than that. Each opportunity granted, lesson learned and affirmation supplied possessed a gravity all their own. 

Like becoming one who gladly accepts the weight of the moment being granted. 

Shunning the spotlight. 

Leaving it all out there for those on your left or right. 

Embracing your failure on the play before as impetus for your success in those yet to come.  

Valuing a level of perseverance garnered by enduring exhaustingly hard work.  

Appreciating your role as one who paves the way for others to succeed.

As time passed, these and many more of the gifts granted during those precious moments on the LOS became more apparent as they weaved themselves into the fabric of life off the field.  Confirming the veracity of their mass in substantial and lasting fashions. 

Such as accepting and engaging the weight of all responsibilities in all manner and form, arriving on their time, yet touching every aspect of your being.  

Discovering the value of humility through promoting others. 

Freely giving of oneself without any expectation or desire of return. 

Knowing that there is much to be learned in defeat – whether personal or professional – and that  your response to that event  will eventually lead you back to the outcome you desire; victory. 

Mustering oneself to embrace personal sacrifice and persevere, regardless of the cost, to improve, grow and become what you are meant to be. 

Providing empathy, care, attention and love that will ensure the safety, security and success of those all around.

It has been said that football is the game of life.  A statement of fact to which many will attest.  

This O-lineman suggests that it is taught in numerous, lasting and most compelling fashions – particularly at the line of scrimmage.  Lessons that continue to emerge from that original classroom, bound to a core curriculum, taught on a field that is now being professed in the home, at work, in the community and throughout the world.  

The last snap was 44 years ago. 

Age and infirmity aside, if given another chance, the passion to play remains. An offer would be very difficult to pass on rejoining this pastime. That passion still remains.

Fortunately, the LOS still remains ingrained within. A space I will occupy throughout the rest of my life.  That perpetual source of passion that runs to my core.  An avenue to now teach the lessons embraced while on it.

Defining one’s true purpose.