character – …my temporary assignment.

It has no peer.

Adversity may be defined mostly in terms of tangible situations or moments. But its influence can be especially prevalent in far more subtle contexts.

Like peer pressure.

To be identified as a potential member of a certain group and gain access to its inner sanctum might be viewed as an extremely important and noteworthy achievement for many people. No matter one’s age.

This venture might become so vital as a self-image and identity enhancement that making all the subsequent wrong choices are acceptable expenditures for the meager dividends expected to be earned.

And the ensuing collateral damage? Just part of the program.

Rationalization can become an instinct stronger to one than that of survival. It has the power to transform the known black and white into gradients of reasonable gray.

For once the quest for inclusion with those peers deemed “most worthy” overrides doing what is right, judgement is the first thing to be cast aside. And as thoughts, words and finally deeds dissolve into this hue, one can justify, defend and vindicate just about anything.

Undermining your better nature. Ignoring what you know is right.

Even surrendering character.

There isn’t much contrast across the choices spectrum once you cross that threshold. Decisions tend to go only in one direction; from bad, to badder, to baddest. Rationalized as some of the necessary evils that come with being “one of the boys or girls”.

The curse that begets those bountiful “blessings of being in”.

Isn’t it strange how people who seemingly have the world by the tail can still feel the tug of the herd. Despite the overwhelming value of their talents, an abundance of gifts and their inherent good nature, some “thing” seems to be missing.

Efforts at your addition with the approval from the herd, in reality can act as subtraction. A venture that can lead one to the pursuit of shallow, short-sighted, and oftentimes risky behavior. Creating a cavity within that only becomes deeper and grows ever wider the farther you get from your true self.

A brand of adversity that can be a force all its own, speaking from experience.

For this form of pressure is one of a kind.

It has no peer.

Undefined Stock photos by Vecteezy

Circumstance

“Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will affect in the material conditions of his life. Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance. “ – James Allen

A truly keen insight.

Thought, habit and circumstance. A pattern of interconnected consequence which creates a lasting resonance. Entirely and utterly accountable to you alone. And in certain respects, this pattern of interconnected consequence reveals how your character becomes woven directly into a pursuit of excellence.

As you make your way along this path, it would be prudent to honestly discern and conduct an assessment oneself.

What pattern of thoughts tend to hold you back? Is it fear? Of beginning? That it somehow isn’t within you to start?

Or, is it the commitment once started ? That it is too much for you to see it through. To finish?

Perhaps it is more about the unknown. The possible, undesirable outcome that dogs you. The daunting spectres of disappointment. Discouragement. Disapproval. Defeat.

Maybe it is the fickleness of change. A need for security. The inability to trust. An aversion to honesty or criticism. Selfishness. Arrogance. Ego.

Misperceptions about the call for your leadership ?

Misconceptions about its demands for constant, unrelenting accountability, presence and effort?

Despite your efforts at concealment and containment, your thoughts rarely remain secret.

Your thoughts and doubts are traitors. By word or deed, they make their way to the surface.

A little here. A little there.

Soon, all at once, you become an open book. No longer private, your thoughts can come to govern each habit, control every action, impede any achievement and prohibit excellence, all in a very public manner.

Alter your thoughts from doubt to possibility and then you can alter your trajectory.

So let the transformation begin.

Once thoughts crystallize into genuinely positive, productive and permanent habits, they will soon enjoin the effort to form your circumstance. A radical alteration of ones thoughts transforms the essence of ones life.

Circumstance becomes a product of habit.

And the outcome mirrors ones thoughts.

“anonymous”

If I may beg your indulgence a bit, I have a love story of sorts. Inspired in part by “anonymous”.

If you love the game:

“…then life truly began when the season started.”

Team dinners are the best sit down meal of the week.

Hudl is your preferred form of social media

Bruises are your favorite fall colors

Wearing white to out of town events is still permissible after Labor Day

Tape has become your socks

You accessorize with ice packs

Eye black brings out your cheekbones

And the hitch in your giddy-up later in life is still your source of pride and joy.

If you love the game:

Having the opportunity to practice the day after a game is as big a deal as playing under the lights on Friday nights.

Scout team is the ideal way to contribute. A golden opportunity to make the team maximize its potential and achieve its goals.

A role on special teams may be your ticket to change the course of a game – or season – through superlative effort and will.

If you love the game:

Then no matter what – A or B, JV or reserve, starter, or finish out the rout – “just get me on that field. “

Being wedded to a position will never supplant being bonded to a unit or the team.

Still being there for them though hurt casts a lasting impression.

You can’t be hung up on the division. Just play on in college.

If you love the game:

Embrace the blessings and needs of being a member of a large, multigenerational, extended family

Depend upon the friends you found in the weight room, during speed and agility, at morning misery, during two a days, and with your back to the goal line.

They are here for you now – and most likely will be later on in life.

If you love the game:

Stop an errant “brother”, diffuse a bad situation, console a friend in need, and raise another up even if you are down.

Invest. Time given freely to another is a precious gift.

Smile the most when accolades and attention for your team and teammates are delivered.

Be humble; you are but one in a long line of fine athletes that came before – and will follow you.

Commit. Relentless effort, stellar character and extraordinary leadership regardless of your role is the best way to honor that big family.

If you love the game:

Honor all of this for what it truly is; a rare and fleeting privilege.

Lean in. A challenge of this magnitude – to work harder than you ever have at something, and then, work even harder than that – is an extraordinary opportunity. One that needs to be accepted with genuine and lasting gratitude.

Let go. Giving up all of you for something bigger is a life-changing event.

If you love the game:

Trust. That all of them will honor the sacrifices you make on their behalf in kind.

Respect. Everyone has something in them that can make this team like no other – before or after.

Affirm. Prove their genuine worth to you through your thoughts, words and deeds.

Be accountable. Yes, to the ones with the whistles.

But more so to your partner in the weight room. Those sharing morning misery. The one next to you on the bus. Your teammates doing up-downs. Your unit when you huddle. The three-tech on the line of scrimmage. And that guy next to you right here, right now.

If you love the game:

Make it about all of them by leaving all of you on that field.

Because if you can love the game this much, then because of you, they will love the game too.

Thanks for the inspiration, “Anonymous”

I love it.

Practice

The competitive nature of athletics is said to develop character.

And, it is thought that adversity’s task is to reveal it.

Perhaps.

But maybe character isn’t so much in need of development or of being revealed. Though its expectations remain high, it could be that character’s demands are much simpler to grasp.

Maybe character is just desperate to be spoken. And then, heard.

To be trusted and afforded the benefit of the doubt.

That stands to reason. Since character always knows the right thing to do and just when to do it.

And as you begin to listen, then hear, you will find yourself drawn closer towards it. Finding comfort in its embrace, a sense of purpose in its guidance and a growing courage to use it to face everything life can throw your way.

Character simply yearns to be the first, the best and the last choice you would ever make. And learning to act upon its “recommendation” puts you on a trajectory aimed directly toward your best interests.

Let’s look at it this way.

To effect tangible, positive and lasting influence on anything you choose to master, only one thing is known to work.

Practice.

If it is engineering, medicine or teaching that has captured your heart, then you put your desires to practice.

The cello? Singing arias, painting with watercolors, architecture, cooking or film? Mastery is not gained in one attempt. But in many.

It takes practice.

Is it service that calls you?

Then finding the pathway – both within and without – that will lead you there takes effort, commitment.

And, practice.

For some, athletic competition is what makes the spirit soar. To become all you intend to be, you have to employ all that you are to honor that purpose.

Through practice.

So to be able to hear, trust and embrace character’s voice?

It takes practice.

By developing good listening habits. Getting attuned to its singular voice. Hearing its message.

Having faith in its command and making a commitment to heeding its wisdom. Learning to allow it to be your unshakable guide and loyal mentor. And developing the patience to allow it to do its work.

Over, and over, and over, and over again.

Putting character into practice.

G=R

Ralph Marston Jr., an inspirational author once said; “Your goals, minus your doubts, equals your reality.”

If you want, you could take this concept, reduce it even further, and transform it into some simple arithmetic.

G – D = R

With some effort, a personal commitment and a positive attitude, you can solve for “R”. And being that you are the one to control the factors, you are also the one that can make the difference.

A dream is a blueprint.

A fully illustrated and dimensionalized rendering of your goals. Creating an image that is so vivid, that you can actually live in it, each step along the way.

Until you make it your reality.

That image of what you want to do, where you want to go, and what you want to be, becomes the focal point of everything you do along the way to get there. Then all you need to do is make what is going on out here match with what you see in your head and what you feel in your heart.

It requires an extraordinary level of vision to be able to “see” that goal.

Because you can never afford to lose sight of the present; the moment you are in right now. This is where all the prep work takes place. Discipline learned. Commitments made. Attitudes formed. Character revealed.

Yet you also need to develop the skills to check the horizon, to establish your coordinates and to adjust your long term plans if need be.

If it appears that your destination – the goal – is getting closer, then perhaps your work in the present is paying off. You are making progress, you are affecting your reality.

And once you get to that point, when you get there, it will be like deja vu all over again. You will have already spent months or years in that moment, in that very place Only this time, you get to actually do it.

However, if you look up and find the horizon seems farther away than when you last looked, or is missing altogether, perhaps it is time to regroup.

It can be at this juncture where doubt can make its presence known. Excuses, rationalization and self pity will begin to take their toll. A negative attitude can add to the inertia, increasing drag, acting as an anchor.

Self doubt can begin to slowly destroy your spirit, overshadow your confidence, bury your talent, and push you to simply quit. The voice within you that always said. “I know I can” grows silent.

Self doubt is a choice, and if you allow it to take root it can diminish the value of your goal substantially. Allow it to grow and get out of control, self doubt will ultimately erase your goal in its entirety, leaving in its wake, a reality marked by unrealized potential, disappointment and pain.

Your choices wield the power to ignore self doubt’s distractions and eliminate them altogether.

You can choose to refuse doubt.

With vision, a positive attitude, and the ‘want to’ to eliminate self doubt, the equation for success is simpler yet: goals equal reality.

Or:

G=R