I may have alluded to this before when it comes to fun and the like.
Maybe it is just me, but assigning a name or a designation to a time seems confining. Restrictive. Potentially harming to a sense of presence. After all, it literally means “free time”.
I have found some leisure on the way to work, a cold call or to meet with a client. The radio might become an unwary sponsor to that chance to chill, play drums on the steering wheel or sing into your Yeti.
Some of my manic cleaning/organizing activities present a sense of leisure when I happen onto a better way of arranging things, knock something off the list and bring a sense of order to clutter. It can be a true source of release.
Cooking too. Knowing what the time will yield in a steaming, delicious dish for dinner. A creation beckoning for seconds and even a scoop or two when you are putting it in the fridge. Having your casserole and eating it too.
Here I go again; pulling some weeds, picking up some sticks and trimming away the dead parts in the flower beds. Free time to feel free, gain a sense of release and attain some instant gratification.
Leisure is free time.
So don’t spend it overthinking, putting it on a calendar, planning around it and costing you time to arrange it. When time makes its presence known, be in that moment and take it. Doing that provides you with something very profound and lasting.
I have a feeling I have answered this. The duty inherent in the prompt calls one to contribute. So this time, mark it down, I will keep it to the point.
Working in the yard. I know, not fun according to Dr.Rick.
Making chocolate chip cookies.
Writing.
Going to church.
Coaching.
My mind has no boundaries as of late. So it lumps yard work into other cleaning/organizing/improving functions I love to partake in. Providing one with an instantaneous helping of gratification.
Soup and grilled cheeses, making burgers and chicken wings on the grill and helping cut up veggies and such so my best friend can create ANOTHER amazing meal are part of the cookie attraction.
Well, you are witness to this one. I like being with you in this format.
Church centers me. And being off kilter for most of my life, I need the balance it brings.
Coaching has spread from the gridiron to other fields of life. We all want to be part of a team. And helping others accomplish that is the best way to give all of this back.
Upon some reflection over the past few days, I think it is presence.
Being there for others physically is very important. The language that only the body can speak is crucial in certain situations and circumstances. That settling stature when calm is needed to overcome a tempest. Rolling up the sleeves and getting after it with the team to help lessen a stressful load.
A firm, loving, parental engagement when discipline is called for and correction is needed. A hand on the back, an arm around the shoulder or a smile when the feces hits the fan. Joining in with your own lame, success dance when things exceed expectations.
As a leader, it is crucial that others get to know you in this fashion. From the outside in. Authenticity is meant to be just that. Anything feigned on the outside will only reveal what is actually going on within. The two cannot be at odds with one another.
Quite literally, “what you see absolutely has to be what you get.” Any acting on the part of a leader will be seen precisely as that. A dishonest delivery will be seen by all. This isn’t about the academy taking notice. It is about supporting, affirming and growing those around you.
That being said, a leader must possess an equally visible, palpable and honest appearance in a somewhat metaphysical or spiritual sense.
We all operate and are guided by a personal philosophy. A foundation that was poured as we were raised, renovated by every experience encountered and reinforced by how we chose to respond to them. From a leadership standpoint, the bar then gets raised substantially. For how we see ourselves is largely going to dictate how we view others and what we see in them.
If you are convinced that you know it all, have to control everything and that no one on your team can do it as well as you, those around you will recognize that approach in you. The terse tone, the commanding body language, direct sentence structure and the development of leadership cliques will make your “style” quite apparent. Unless you recruit a group of indivudals that have no sense of value or worth, have been shamed their entire existence and are willing to be bullied, then you can pretty much hang up your leader hat.
A leader recognizes that his time is temporary. That he or she will move on to another challenge or different phase of life. That being said, it is incumbent on the leader to learn of the talents and aspirations that surround them, and acknowledge what they lack themselves so that all can contribute in a genuine and lasting way to the growth and success of the group. And one another.
This tone, the open body language, inclusive sentence structure and coaching of leadership radiates through all. The genuine care and support are felt not only within the group, but ripples out. Those on your team express their gratitude and experience to others, funneling potential recruits towards the group. They not only want what is best for themselves, but they also want the same for others in their lives.
This is humility plain and simple.
An admission that I am in need of all of you to achieve what it is we set out to do. I am not able to do this alone. I do not have the talents, skills and drive that we have together. And I am not going to be here forever. Ultimately, my “job” is to help you to grow into a position that you can all work and learn to lead yourselves.
It’s not the guy on the left, and for sure the one on the right. Lillian and Carmen were some of my favorites, but they definitely were not animals.
The one in my brother’s arms is.
Babe.
The Wonder Dog.
Went to the Chicago Humane Society to check out puppies. She was one of a litter of about six or seven, the only one with a bobbed tail. She crawled out to me. That pretty much sealed the deal.
She and I became very close. She followed the rules, learned to sit, stay, shake, smile, speak and even whisper. Nothing was eaten without saying “OK” and Babe did not need a leash. She stayed right next to me no matter the distractions.
Being very protective, she took out a larger dog that went after her and the stroller one of my children was in. The suture bill for the aggressor was well worth it.
She would go on runs with me, play frisbee and loved being in the car. You couldn’t say ‘Walk” around her. You couldn’t even spell it. You had to say “W-L-A-K” or else she would pester you until you acquiesced. Pretty much same with rides in the car. You could fake her out on a trip to the vet until she recognized the street, and curled up in the seat.
She did not beg around the dinner table, staying on the rug by the door. She liked peanuts, and would hold them in her front paws and crack it open, then leave the shell on the floor. If a burger was left over, she would eat around the pickle and leave that there too. Loved bananas, apples and especially oranges. If mom went to the crisper for one, Babe would be there at her feet instantaneously, putting on the puppy face to get a slice.
In college, she would hang out with Herman and Ajax. After house parties, those three would sneak out of the room, find the overflow buckets under the taps in the basement and lap up some beer. When we finally woke up, we would find them sleeping it off in the living room.
Babe just wanted to play catch, with someone or by herself. During the winter trimester, she invented a game of self-toss using frozen puppy turds in the yard. She would run laps with one in her muzzle, flip it in the air, catch it and run another lap.
On more than one occasion, a student passing by would see her playing like this, unaware of the toy she was using. They would bend down, clap their hands and say “Come here!”, so they could throw it to her. She would run over, drop it in their hands and assume the puppy play position, front legs down, butt in the air, tongue hanging out and eyes on fire. As soon as they realized what it was, they couldn’t let go of it fast enough, rub their hands and walk off somewhat irritated. Babe would just pick it up and begin the play anew.
Squirrels were her favorite target of the chase. Driving home one day, Babe in the passenger seat and windows down, she spotted a squirrel running in a yard on the driver’s side. No problem. When we got to the stop sign, she jumped across me, out the window and went after it, until it found a tree. They are lucky she couldn’t climb.
Despite this wild side to her, she lived a long life. To 17. She began to wander off, so we had to make a very difficult decision. When I took her to the park for the last time, she spent her time reminiscing. You could sense that she knew. She was calm when we drove to the vet. And stayed right by me. I held her as she went to puppy heaven.
Getting hugs from the young men I coached in football this fall before their wrestling meet last night.
Laying on the floor with my grandson, he crawls over, looks at me and gives me a head bump with his baby noggin. And then just holds it there.
Stopping over to meet my newest granddaughter for the first time, and having my son open the door with her in his arms and ask, “…so you want to hold her?”
Hearing from my buddies from highschool.
Dancing like a couple of dorks in the kitchen with my best friend.
Coming across friends that just listen and support. No matter what.
I think I get too focused on making it an event instead of just being fully in the moment. Making it into something is a distraction, essentially pulling you away from the bond of that instant. Just being all in, right there, makes all the difference in your life.
To take it one step further, I know shocking and totally out of character, connect the dots back to where it all started. For reasons yet to be understood, sometimes you just don’t truly understand your own value, worth and impact. That can become quite the obstacle, acting to ensnare you into bad choices, demeaning behaviors and dangerous directions.
Then those small moments happen. Somehow right when you could use it. Maybe you don’t realize you do, but they present themselves as a gift. And if you stay right where you are and accept it with an attitude of gratitude, some of the weight and worry come off, replaced with a warm sense of wonder.
You know what they say about coincidence, right?
He knows exactly what you need. When you need it most. If you can fully stay in that moment, you will feel what has been lacking. A true sense of worth and value in a way that casts an impression that remains forever. You will want more.
...my temporary assignment. 