“If you can’t live through adversity, you’ll never be good at what you do. You have to live through the unfair things, and you have to develop the hide to not let it bother you and keep your eyes focused on what you have to do.”
— Maurice “Hank” Greenberg
I will go one step further.
It is simply not enough to live through adversity, to choose a path of tolerant coexistence and acceptance. Instead, you have to learn how to embrace another tack, and go far beyond just leaning into it.
You have to figure out how to thrive in it. Because if you are living right, adversity ain’t ever gonna be a “one and done” thing. “If” that something just happens to happen.
Adversity will then always be a “when” event.
That is for certain.
Because if you consistently push out beyond your personal envelope of safety and constantly venture out beyond the confines of comfort, you will be creating guarantors that produce more than your fair share of adversity. The “when” will then always be the operative word to describe the frequency of adversity’s presence in all of your endeavors.
So perhaps at first, leaning directly into an increasing array of challenges isn’t always possible or prudent. After all, they are new surroundings. And this is an acquired taste.
But in time, you will learn to thrive in this environment. Not just in spite of it – but because of it. You will develop a rare sense of perspective. Become adept at recognizing the opportunity that is hidden within every trial and tribulation. And then, proceed to shine in spite of it.
I promise.
Sure a thicker hide will help absorb and deflect the punishment those moments are bound to deliver as Mr. Greenburg asserts.
But a stoutness of character paired with a resolute courage in your convictions will always help you to overcome just about anything.
And not just “if “ they do.
But when they present themselves.
Then, once that begins to happen, things will no longer happen to you.
“Gratitude is a “belief and conviction that serves as a constant reminder of what you have been given, where you came from and whose shoulders you are standing on now. “
It is more than a mere “thank you” and far deeper than simple appreciation.
Gratitude is the humble acknowledgement of the extraordinary role that others have played in getting you to this point in your life. A modest recognition of how their influence first got you started. Then pushed you to keep going. And continued to encourage you to achieve whatever it was you desired.
When it comes right down to it, gratitude is a way of being.
Thinking, speaking and acting in such a way as to honor how others intentionally gave you all they had to give, so you could achieve, excel and succeed. Gratis.
Gratitude is about developing a mindset that is rooted in humility. And coming to possess an “attitude of gratitude”.
So if you will, please indulge me for a moment.
Take a look back, reflect and think of all you have been freely “given”, gifted or entrusted with by others throughout your life. Not so much in terms of things. But rather the time. Talent. Wisdom. Support. And love. Now, this is an exercise that can be a staggering undertaking if you attempt an honest assessment of such a big picture.
So let’s just focus on one small aspect of our life. Perhaps it was as a player or coach. Something we all share in common.
You want to talk about blessings?
The opportunity to play at the youth, high school and college level. To learn to love that game from some great fathers, mothers, men, women, mentors and teammates. To receive the undying support of parents, siblings, extended family, friends, entire student bodies, communities and educational institutions. To be present in an environment where we can cultivate life-long friendships. To learn, accumulate and put into practice some of the most treasured lessons on life – from some of the greatest games ever invented. And simply just be a part of all of this.
Think about the distance we have all traveled.
Not just in a geographic sense. But mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Where all of us first started, where we are today and the path each of us intends to follow thereafter. Consider how far we have come as a person. Friend. Son. Student. Man.Woman. Athlete. Coach.
Now, never would I diminish anyone’s effort, intention, commitment or role throughout any of this.
But to be honest, where we are today isn’t so much just because of anything one of us did on our own. Rather, it all pretty much came down to what others thought of us. Saw within us. Believed in each of us. Entrusted to us. And yes, eventually, expected every single one of us to do. Because those individuals had so much faith in each one of us – first as players and then as coaches – our transformation became possible.
They pushed each of us in precisely the right manner. Challenged us to embrace the work, to make the commitment, aim our aspirations higher and achieve at a higher level than we ever imagined. They loved us enough to carry us on their shoulders. A vantage point that reveals a bigger picture. To help ensure that our present might match what they envisioned our future to someday be.
Even now, their all encompassing and enduring support remains. Taking us even farther and higher than ever dreamed. There is no way to repay their generosity. To compensate them for what they gave us in terms of their time, their effort, their support and unyielding faith. In a certain sense, we will forever be indebted to them. And yet, this was never a transaction, A quid pro quo. It was simply a gift. Freely given without condition. Strings or attachments.
So it is incumbent on each of us to acknowledge the extraordinary role that others have played in getting each of us to this point in our lives. Recognize how their influence got us started. How they pushed us to keep going. And continue to encourage all of us to achieve whatever it was we desired.
As mentioned, that short time we were blessed with on the LOS, passed by. The gifts granted during those precious moments have become more central to life. It has taken time, a tremendous sense of faith, and a firm investment in patience to see how all of this has evolved into an entity all its own.
Purpose.
As manifested in a temporary assignment
I am not sure how long it takes others to discern, realize and then choose to pursue a path towards their eventual purpose. I truly admire those that are able to follow their call upon hearing those words, simply trusting what is being said to them, heeding their call to pursue medicine, teaching, entrepreneurship, the Lord or whatever their vocation happens to take them.
Yet perhaps in this circumstance – like others I will presume – the voice was there, but life in the present just got in the way. It became muffled, reduced to a slight whisper. Becoming overshadowed by the demands of the moment, the bright shiny objects that drew attention away and prevent actually hearing it.
Just getting “something”, “anything” can overtake choosing a better “something”. Running from one difficult situation to another, rather than actually moving towards something that is affirming, avoids reality. And, the truth.
Add to that, the fear that accompanies the trying that could lead to the failing. The risk of alienating those you “know”, so you can hold those you do not, close and dear to your heart. Not knowing whether you can sustain the prolonged effort and the requisite commitment to see it all through.
And finally, deciding to move away from what you have done by rote for so long towards another calling that continues to resonate, despite your attempt to ignore it in every way, shape, or form. Ultimately, all of which are things that come down to choice.
Purpose is the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
One’s intention or objective.
Those pervasive, reflective and lasting lessons learned on the LOS unknowingly provoked some long term discernment.
What was it that they were teaching, exactly?
How were they pertinent to life as it was ?
Where were they designed to lead?
How was the journey to be undertaken?
What was the reason for heeding this call?
And, when?
The nature of my experience was something that needed to be shared, reinforced and spread. The game was one thing. But all of those in the game – no matter the level – stood to benefit from learning those same lessons.
Developing a player could only proceed so far. Technique, drill work, strength, speed, scheme could only go so far. Same with game day.
But developing the person that resided within the player supported a plethora of opportunities, possibilities and ultimately, lives. The potential was limitless.
Should the player learn the lessons away from the field, so they could enjoin that curriculum all year round, imagine the performance for those 9 to 10 weeks come fall! Not to speak of it in life for the balance of that year and all those going forward.
Imagine the performance in the classroom, with their peers, in the community, within themselves by just sharing the initial insights provided me and others at the LOS!
Like accepting and engaging the weight of all responsibilities in all manner and form, arriving on their time, yet touching every aspect of your being.
Discovering the value of humility through promoting others.
Freely giving of oneself without any expectation or desire of return.
Knowing that there is much to be learned in defeat – no matter the venue – and that your response to that event will eventually lead you back to the outcome you desire; victory.
Mustering oneself to embrace personal sacrifice and persevere, regardless of the cost, to improve, grow and become what you are meant to be.
Providing empathy, care, attention and love that will ensure the safety, security and success of those all around.
Rick Warren once said that “Life on earth is a temporary assignment. Don’t forget there’s more than just this life”. How you handle the one here, prepares you for the one to follow.
Now that I understand, I am putting all I can into what I now understand to be my purpose.
...my temporary assignment. 