Tag Archives: personal-growth

It has no peer.

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Adversity may be defined mostly in terms of tangible situations or moments.  But its influence can be especially prevalent in far more subtle contexts.

Like peer pressure. 

To be identified as a potential member of a certain group and gain access to its inner sanctum might be viewed as an extremely important and noteworthy achievement for many people.  No matter one’s age. 

This venture might become so vital as a self-image and identity enhancement that making all the subsequent wrong choices are acceptable expenditures for the meager dividends expected to be earned. 

And the ensuing collateral damage?   Just part of the program. 

Rationalization can become an instinct stronger to one than that of survival. It has the power to transform the known black and white into gradients of reasonable gray. 

For once the quest for inclusion with those peers deemed “most worthy”  overrides doing what is right, judgement is the first thing to be cast aside. And as thoughts, words and finally deeds dissolve into this hue, one can justify, defend and vindicate just about anything. 

Undermining  your better nature. Ignoring what you know is right. 

Even surrendering  character. 

There isn’t  much contrast across the choices spectrum once you cross that threshold. Decisions tend to go only in one direction; from bad, to badder, to baddest. Rationalized as some of the necessary evils that come with  being “one of the boys or girls”.  

The curse that begets those bountiful “blessings of being in”.

Isn’t it strange how people who seemingly have the world by the tail can still feel the tug of the herd.  Despite the overwhelming value of their talents, an abundance of gifts and their inherent good nature, some “thing” seems to be missing.

Efforts at your addition with the approval from the herd, in reality can act as subtraction. A venture that can lead one to the pursuit of  shallow, short-sighted, and oftentimes risky behavior.  Creating a cavity within that only becomes deeper and grows ever wider the farther you get from your true self. 

A brand of adversity that can be a force all its own, speaking from experience. 

 For this form of pressure is one of a kind.

It has no peer.

Undefined Stock photos by Vecteezy

That of life.

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I have long contended that football is the game of life.  Being a player, like all of you, I am familiar with the challenges, discomfort and anxiety that can come with it.  

The challenges of overcoming an opponent or task bigger than you think are. The discomfort that comes along with such a seemingly endless physical, mental and emotional effort whether it be practice or game.  And the anxiety that accompanies not knowing the exact outcome of your work, being unsure you are doing it exactly right, fearing you are not enough and God forbid, you make a mistake. 

Speaking from a common experience, if you play football, you are already living outside of your comfort zone.  In football terms being a resident of the O-Line, some of you are at the first level.  Others have moved towards the second.  Still fewer, the third.  And yet to be conquered, is the 4th level.  

On extremely rare occasions can one go from one to four.  That’s like a lottery ticket.  Perhaps you can get to level three from one, if things are just right.  But more often than not, you cannot skip steps, avoid work and wish your way into achievement.  You need to work your way up and through each one to reach level four.  The end zone.

You see, if you want to achieve the things you truly value and aspire to, you have to get used to being uncomfortable.  Not just in the fall.  But the year round.  You have to commit and fully invest in embracing that sense of being challenged, some sense of discomfort and the anxiety that may accompany being unsure what is going to happen.  

Again, speaking as a football player like you, living out of your comfort zone turns out to be the best place you can be.  It promotes growth, confidence, perseverance, faith  and a chance to become all you were meant to be.  Whether it is school, your first job, college or pursuing your passion, you cannot go from level one to four.  You must find work and make your way up that field, whatever it is.

Doing the things that ultimately take you to life’s end zone.  

So that being said, let me offer a challenge.  

For whatever reason, this one play causes a great deal of angst and worry.  Most likely because it doesn’t give you a definitive assignment like the other plays.  It just calls on you to all move towards the play as one, sealing off the LOS and moving to the second level. Vague I know.  But you run it to perfection against cans in practice.  But against bodies, you shrink, second guess and cringe about making a mistake.  

How about getting out of your comfort zone on this one?  

Better yet, get out of it for the whole game. 

Embrace the challenges, discomfort and anxiety.  I bet you will find that endzone more than a couple of times in those four quarters.  And when all is said and done, you will know that you gave it your all no matter what.  That in itself counts as a win.  

Stands to reason you could go 2-0 on Friday then. 

And keep the winning streak alive in the weeks, months and years to come if you learn the value of being uncomfortable. 

Think about it. 

As you work your way towards another end zone. 

That of life.

Positively habit forming.

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“Excellence is not a gift but  a skill that takes practice. We do not act ‘rightly’ because we are ‘excellent’.  In fact we achieve ‘excellence’ by acting ‘rightly’.

Plato

Acting rightly is never the result of flipping some internal switch.  You do not wake up one morning to find yourself transformed into the epitome of excellence. 

And yet, you do house some of the infrastructure that can become the mechanisms needed to learn, develop and hone this particular life skills set. As long as you can follow direction, accept input, both externally and internally driven, and handle some of the disappointments that come your way, you should be in a good position to assemble a diverse and deep array of habits.

You see, achieving excellence is all about acquiring habits. 

Habits that can last a lifetime.  Habits that create a positive and lasting impact on you and those around you.  And for a habit to take firm hold in your life, it needs reps.  Not one, two a dozen or a gross.  The habit acquisition process needs to be constant and committed.  Certain and ceaseless. Ongoing and unremitting. 

Self-discipline is an invaluable friend, confidant and ally throughout this process. Enabling you to follow directives, both external as well as internal.  It reinforces the assembly process as you create the personal mechanisms that lead to the creation of excellence. 

Self-discipline keeps you with and on the program.  Finishing “this” before you start “that”. Holding you right “here” in the present while shedding just enough light on what may lay ahead as to keep your head up and eyes down that path. Focused on the here and now, inspired by what is yet to come.  

If you have the right mindset about this venture, then there will be nothing burdensome about the effort and journey whatsoever.  Its purpose is to lead you.  To create the trajectory that will direct you to become what you were meant to be and where you were meant to go. 

In time, your actions will rightly lead you to excellence. 

One of the best versions of self-inducement.

Positively habit forming.

Circumstance

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“Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will affect in the material conditions of his life. Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance. “   – James Allen

A truly keen insight. 

Thought, habit and circumstance. A pattern of interconnected consequence which creates a lasting resonance.  Entirely and utterly accountable to you alone.  And in certain respects, this pattern of interconnected consequence reveals how your character becomes woven directly into a  pursuit of excellence.

As you make your way along this path, it would be prudent to honestly discern and conduct an assessment oneself.

What pattern of thoughts tend to hold you back? Is it fear? Of beginning? That it somehow isn’t within you to start?

Or, is it the commitment once started ? That it is too much for you to see it through. To finish?

Perhaps it is more about the unknown. The possible, undesirable outcome that dogs you. The daunting spectres of disappointment. Discouragement. Disapproval. Defeat.

Maybe it is the fickleness of change. A need for security. The inability to trust. An aversion to honesty or criticism. Selfishness. Arrogance. Ego.

Misperceptions about the call for your leadership ?

Misconceptions about its demands for constant, unrelenting accountability, presence and effort?

Despite your efforts at concealment and containment, your thoughts rarely remain secret. 

Your thoughts and doubts are traitors. By word or deed, they make their way to the surface. 

A little here.  A little there.

Soon, all at once, you become an open book.  No longer private, your thoughts can come to govern each habit, control every action, impede any achievement and prohibit excellence, all in a very public manner.

Alter your thoughts from doubt to possibility and then you can alter your trajectory. 

So let the transformation begin.

Once thoughts crystallize into genuinely positive, productive and permanent habits, they will soon enjoin the effort to form your circumstance. A radical alteration of ones thoughts transforms the essence of ones life.

Circumstance becomes a product of habit.

And the outcome mirrors ones thoughts.

Hath no cares.

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The resolved mind hath no cares. 

George Herbert (1593-1632) British poet. 

This isn’t to say that one should proceed without due diligence and your head up once you are resolved to a course of action. Rather, being resolved brings with it a sense of independence from the limitations and clutter imposed by indecision, waffling and second guessing. There be “no cares” in that you know where you are going, and how you are getting there. 

And nothing will sway you away from that course.

So make it your mission, to not only discover something special each day, but also to rediscover something special within yourself as well. Two things that are only made possible if you are fully present and seize the moment. With both hands. 

When you let go, and then go “all in” your resolve  releases this exquisite level of energy. You set the tone, creating this powerful brand of momentum. One just made for overcoming the inertia of the day. Loosening its grip. Making it relent. And surrendering to your will. 

As your hold on these moments increases, new possibilities emerge. Opportunities once hidden now become visible.   As you proceed fully present and seize each day, you will be actively molding the future. Your future. For what you resolve to make of the present will eventually determine what is yet to come.  

Think about it. 

There will be no ambiguity in what lies ahead. No gray areas. For the thoughts, words and deeds you are choosing at this very moment help to shape the very next. Always in motion is the future. Your future. Its direction is largely your call. 

With resolve, be fully present. 

Let go. 

All in. 

Seize the moment.

Create your future. 

With resolve. 

Hath no cares.