Getting a better grasp on myself these days has been a blessing in more ways than one.

Nervousness was born of my tendency towards over-functioning. The need to be all for everyone at the expense of not only myself, but ultimately them as well. For if one has assumed the life role of being the “over” component, then those they are connected to may choose to be the “under”. Potentially harmful in both directions.

To be honest, part of what fuels me is the nervous energy that accompanies activity, demanding days, taking the first swing at something and venturing into uncharted territories. Maybe that is the breed of butterflies I have grown fond of, as alluded to in prior tomes. I guess I just enjoy that giddiness.

But as I have begun figuring out some of the personal mechanics that led me to the “over” side of the equation, I am now cognizant of those situations and able to quell the reflex action to function as such. Nothing like taking a step back and surveying the moment. There is another important facet of this healing process. Come to genuine terms with what happened and let what hasn’t arrive on its own terms. Just stay present. That is where you are meant to fully be.

Since the “fixing” veil has been lifted, I am now becoming aware of another way of looking at those situations. No longer is it about fixating on my nervousness about taking charge, but rather recognizing and embracing another’s nervousness, trepidation and woe about their own situation. Finding the means to become more sympathetically supportive. Developing a genuinely deeper empathy. And ultimately, providing them with the love they need to overcome their hurdles and obstacles, real or imagined.

I now see my vocation from a different perspective these days.

I thought I would never use this over employed jargon from business again for as long as I lived. Ranks right up there with KPI’s and “open the kimono”. I just broke out in hives thinking about it. Well, here goes. Pass the Neosporin.

Let’s just say, my paradigm shifted.

For life.

So as such, how I choose to spend my remaining time is going to as well. I may seek another field of play. Yet nothing to be nervous about whatsoever. Finally getting a glimmer of one’s purpose and following that path is meant to move one toward fulfillment. Bringing a long with it a giddiness to enjoy and savor.

For now, my focus will be on helping others in shifting theirs as well.

On their terms.

So they can be giddy too.