Even more.

I want you to know that the opportunity this presents on a daily or as needed basis is much desired and deeply appreciated.

Thoughts, words and actions all have their own mission and purpose, and as they are received, heard or experienced, each provides their own distinct indelible impact on life in these parts. I am still in the learning process here. By no means is this intended to be a “how to” or any derivative thereof.

Things can just be awe-full in their depth and timing. A word, some seemingly inconspicuous phrase and the thoughts they bring carry this immense fullness of awe inspiring truth. It just makes me want to share. To connect and see if anyone else has been touched in the same fashion.

Also, I may use “I” in some context because that is just how it comes out. But I also write with a great deal of “you”. Never to point a finger or single anyone out. More so calling myself “you”. Like “…hey Mark, you better be grateful that you can do this when the spirit moves you.”

Today, it was a variety of ways to discern the loving suggestion that you love not just your neighbors but your enemies as well.

I take enemy from a literal perspective. Someone trying to do you harm, physically and everything thereafter.

But in his reflection today, Bishop Barron offered two other views.

One, which is absolutely true in my my case, is that perhaps the “enemy” is someone that is just plain old annoying. And the constant barrage of annoyance while quasi damaging to your day, may actually reflect something in you that takes it as such. An honest aspect of your persona. Perhaps it is actually a confrontation to your beliefs, ego or desire for control that sets the drums of war beating.

Then, it may go a little further past your blockade, exposing an inadequacy you may have deflected, ignored or just excused. That can lead to some spirited conflicts in a variety of ways. Speaking from my experience, more so a war of attrition. No settlement can be reached in either case until you can somehow surrender to the truth about yourself.

It is possible that the enemy lay within.

What is it in you that propagates the annoyance within yourself?

And is there something within that finally needs to be addressed?

So perhaps it goes back to love your neighbor as you love yourself. And if you don’t really love yourself in all honesty. then how can you best love your neightbor?

Then there is your enemy.

Are they intent on attacking you from the outside in? Or is it a combatant that lay in wait from within? One there all along, but never acknowledged, confronted or understood. Commanding you to think, speak and act in such a manner as to bring about conflict, escalation and destruction.

Need to read more about this.

Not seeking solution this night.

But man, it sure makes me wonder.

Think.

And want to write.

Even more.

For this resurrection is ongoing.

So, this time of year holds a special sense of wonder for me. Not that it always has. It was a long time comin’. Whether it has been the passage of time, the growing honesty within, a gathering awareness of the value of humility or just that I understand things better now. And each day brings with it ever more clarity, definition and peace.

For that I am eternally grateful.

I have come to know this opportunity for growth and an abundant life from two paths. Separate, and yet, intermeshed. Ineinander; in to one another. Increasingly conscious that this event, if you will, is not merely consigned to a set space on the calendar or the defining moment of known spirituality. The wisdom, precious insight and ultimately truth that is being offered is present to all, right here. Right now.

Within some of the readings, our fellowship, faith services and other avenues traveled by the truth, this simple prayer fully resides within my heart, mind and soul. A declaration consisting of six, simple, being altering assurances.

“Empty me.

Fill me.

Use me.” *

A precept woven into our fellowship, our faith and where God as we understood him resides in our lives. A trinity of revival, renewal and rebirth.

About a week ago, we received the symbol of our essence and our mortality. An emblem to encourage us to embrace reflection, reverence and repentance. A badge that is intended to be worn with the utmost humility and gratitude. An admonition to forsake ego.

The farther along the path I currently venture. I have come to realize that you can wear that emblem every day, providing comfort as you are emptied of destructiveness, deceit, disillusionment. distrust, despair. Filling you with unmeasured grace, forgiveness and love. Using you to disperse these gifts back to all.

In one sense, we will leave this spiritual ark in thirty some days. And yet the compelling nature of the undertaking merits complete collaborative, lifelong inhabitation. Within our trinity.

There need not be an end to this season for any of us.

For this resurrection is ongoing.

  • Sr. Miriam – Hallowed

“Ephphatha” 

Today’s reading was very compelling. Especially the reflection that was offered thereafter.

It shared the story of the deaf man with a speech impediment that was given his hearing and his tongue. How He chose to grant this gift away from the crowds. How the connection was essentially made to plug the man back into life. To the current of truth.

Like then, finding space away from the crowds today can be a tall order. Especially when we need to be present so that we can truly hear.

“The raucous voices of so many, the insistent bray of the advertising culture, the confusing Babel of competing spiritualities—all of it makes us deaf to His word.” *

Not only does this distract us from the truth, it also removes us from the moment. It can send us back in time to past mistakes, errors in judgement and flaws in character. A path that can then rocket us forward to wishing and embracing a self inflicting narrative of deflection, defect and defeat.

“Things will never get better or change the way I want them to because I am just not worth it.”

And yet, as I am starting to finally realize, if you can just stay right where you are, in the here and now, then you enter into a wonderful sense of peace and serenity. Acknowledging you cannot go back or jump forward is centering. It can help stave off remorse over what cannot be changed while inhibting anxiety over what change may – or may not – be coming.

There is no time better than where you are right now.

Maintaining your presence within this very moment is a place of true connection. With those all around you. With yourself. And most of all, with the One that simply desires to be there with you.

Perhaps He led that afflicted soul away from the crowds to defer the imminent accolades and preeminence for Him as he regained his ability to hear. And maybe it was also to bring that instant of healing first and foremost in his memory. Within that one moment.

It’s ironic that being moved to a place of silence created connection and belonging by listening.

To a voice meant to be heard above the bray.

“Ephphatha” 

  • Bishop Robert Barron

Reaping what we sow.

There are those in life that play “farmer” with you.

The one that really wishes for “this” or wants “that”. Something, a favor. Special treatment. So to yield that desired crop, they pant seeds. “Innocent” asides that pop up out of no where. Return again when the season of the moment is favorable. Get watered. Copious amounts of fertilizer, if you know what I mean. Aggregated so as to produce the yield they wish to harvest. And should that happen, your field will not lay fallow. It will be planted again. And again.

But then there is another breed of farmer.

One that also sows seeds, hoping they may take root. But maybe never really knowing if they ever will or when, if they do so. By coincidence, they may come across another who chose to accept it into their garden, tended to it and made something grow out of that all but brief interaction.

Some of the seeds I speak of flow from that loop of grace.

Sowing small acts of care, support and love onto what may be barren landscapes and rocky terrain. Tending to the needs of others in that moment, helping to raise them up, if for only an instant. Bringing some light to a time of darkness. Providing assurance for a gathering storm or respite from a downpour. Not out of a requisite or perceived demand.

But because you get to.

This brand of sowing goes even further. The farmer you are will be seen and heard by eyes and ears not obvious to you. An act of kindness witnessed from a distance, but understood as such may spur that farmer to plant in the same fashion. Even the act of attentiveness and hearing once seen may inspire the giving of similar gifts in others.

Words of kindness, support, understanding, empathy and love ripple outward, connecting your heart and soul to theirs. Seeds that find their way into them, encouraging them to share alike. You can never really know for sure what your affirmation of one will do so to another, impressing upon the the joy to be found in giving those gifts to others. The land you tend is much larger than imagined. Your acts and voice travel to all corners of it.

From a seed and farmer context, this loop can grow into acres and acres of growth and true connection. Not because we have to. Just because we get to. There is no deed associated with this. We were simply given a most wonderful opportunity to farm.

Reaping what we sow.

“Meno.”

I have found great joy in reading the gospel each morning in three different versions, emailed to me overnight. Each provides one with some key insights to ponder for the day to come and really gets those creative juices flowing. As you can probably tell. Presenting me with words I was kind of aware of, thought I understood, but really did not know from Adam.

Sorry. Helps sustain my humerous daddus affliction. But I digress…

This morning in the first reading  of 1 Maccabees 2:15-29, there was a retelling of the enforcement of a king’s apostasy and Mattathias’ reaction.

Akin to the mother and her seven sons and how they chose the after life in lieu of an affirmation of not only a false prophet but false view of life.

I went back to “apostasy” and discovered the origins, the Greek word “apostasia” meaning “defection, rebellion or abandonment”. Recalling my fondness for Etymology class with Mr. Paris in high school back in the 70’s, I went a little deeper. Who knew today would start with some archeology.

“Apostasia” is formed from a prefix “apo” meaning “away from” and the verb “histemi” meaning “to stand”. “Thus, the literal meaning is to stand away from”. 

Since this was first written long, long ago it has taken on a variety of meanings each of which are related to discarding ones faith. At this moment of of my personal reclamation project, however, I prefer to apply it from its original, literal meaning.

“To stand away from”.

My apostasia involves standing away from the ill conceived habits and thoughts that took me away from my true self. Beholding the notion that I had all of the answers and that I could do everything for everybody. Equipped with the double edged sword that is ego, I wounded humility for the sake of pride. All of which simply made me an island, surrounded by an ocean that ebbed with low self esteem and flowed with no forgiveness.

But as I have increasingly sacrificed the tenets of a choices poorly made and a life ill lived, a true fellowship beckons. One that called to the mother and seven sons. One that touched Mattathias and the multitudes of those that have followed. Removing me from a self-designed poverty and enriching me with an altogether serene and peaceful wholeness.

You may not realize it at first, but when you simply let go and stand away from what you were, you can genuinely become what you are meant to be.

My “apostasia” began with moving away from being alone as self-induced outcast. It has since evolved into allowing Him in and truly living.

“Meno”.