Just when.

Daily writing prompt
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?

Perspective, to me, is largely vision. Maybe not so literally. But perhaps more so tangibly. How what you have experienced, embraced, engaged in, exchanged or exhumed have come to currently define your presence and being in this moment.

The combination of significant life events and time have the potential to create wonder, fulfillment and joy. On the flip side, they can also work in the opposite direction, producing woe, abandonment and despair. All of which are contingent on perspective. The tangible.

Of all the many tangible gifts of perspective granted to me through my ongoing experience in football, the two that stand apart involve adversity.

The first, spoken by a true mentor was this: “Adversity is never an if proposition, but only a when event”. The other, of more recent vintage, read was this, “event plus response equals outcome”

The theme central to each of these perspectives?

Opportunity as it conveyed through choice.

For in the former, when adversity occurs, you may exercise your free will to choose how you will respond. That decision will ultimately reveal the opportunity that lay in all adversity. Or, lead to fight or flight, being seen only as a threat. In the latter, the equation involving a tangible perspective is fully fleshed out. E+R=O. Applicable to virutally any and all interactions, whether trying or accommodating.

So, back to the prompt.

Lacking a true, tangible perspective regarding life events added to the passage of time has wreaked some havoc around these parts. Simply thinking things will get better, this too shall pass and parking it on the back burner have a tendency to place the onus elsewhere. Deflect responsibility. Even blame in the worst sense.

Choosing a path of avoidance over acceptance, gifting those calamities to other sources while delaying tangible engagement produces exactly the outcome you chose.

On the other hand, genuine acceptance, honest ownership and fully intentional association with all events, in real time, will effect not just change, but the outcome desired. Opportunities found in all manner of adversity. Positive, fulfilling and lasting outcomes conveyed through choice.

Assuming this tangible perspective creates in me a joyful anticipation of life events. And my soul’s desire and most ardent wish is that they will all fit within my ultimate passage of time. I no longer simply envision where it is I am going and what I am starting to become. I can actually feel to movement. The change. My outcome.

Finally.

No longer if.

Just when.

Promise

“If you can’t live through adversity, you’ll never be good at what you do. You have to live through the unfair things, and you have to develop the hide to not let it bother you and keep your eyes focused on what you have to do.” 

— Maurice “Hank” Greenberg 

I will go one step further. 

It is simply not enough to live through adversity, to choose a path of tolerant coexistence and acceptance. Instead, you have to learn how to embrace another tack, and go far beyond just leaning into it.  

You have to figure out how to thrive in it.  Because if you are living right, adversity ain’t ever gonna be a “one and done” thing.  “If” that something just happens to happen. 

Adversity will then always be a “when” event.  

That is for certain. 

Because if you consistently push out beyond  your personal envelope of safety and constantly  venture out beyond the confines of comfort, you will be creating guarantors that produce  more than your fair share of adversity. The “when” will then always be the operative word to describe the frequency of adversity’s presence in all of your endeavors.

So perhaps at first, leaning directly into an increasing array of challenges isn’t always possible  or prudent.   After all, they are new surroundings. And this is an acquired taste. 

But in time, you will learn to thrive in this environment.  Not just in spite of it – but because of it.  You will develop a rare sense of perspective. Become adept at recognizing the opportunity that is hidden within every trial and tribulation. And then, proceed to shine in spite of it.

I promise.

Sure a thicker hide will help absorb and deflect the punishment those moments are bound to deliver as Mr. Greenburg asserts. 

But a stoutness of character paired with a resolute courage in your convictions will always help you to overcome just about anything. 

And not just  “if “ they do.  

But when they present themselves.

Then, once that begins to happen, things will no longer happen to you.  

You will begin to happen to them.  

I promise.