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About Mark J. Hahn

“What we have to be is what we are.” ― Thomas Merton

As it was intended.

Was able to elicit a profoundly layered perspective regarding the nature of stymieing personal challenges during a conversation this morning. It was one of those epiphanical moments that sent this stoic noggin a spinning. I am from the vinyl era, so that do make sense.

So when you are enmeshed in multitude personal issues and shortcomings that confound thought, word and deed, for whatever reason, they get tangled up, one in another. Constricting you like a leash or rope, tethering you to poor choices, deceit, ego, control, anger, resentment and strangely enough, isolation and abandonment. One would think that change in some manner or fashion would enable you to break free from this confinement with a steady, forceful pull.

Perhaps.

But if the thoughts, words and deeds remain the same, you will find yourself right back where you were before. Tied to the behaviors that led you to that personal imprisonment in the first place. Only this time, the rope maybe stronger, shorter and more painfully wrapped about your body mind, heart and soul.

Someone next to me referred to the act of unentanglement.

Coming to understand and confront what has you bound, one strand at a time. He cited that even though you may refrain from the action, the habitual self convincing approach to its continuation may yet remain. As such, each of those contrivances utilized to promulgate and perpetuate your current falsehood of a life need to be addressed, understood, cut, and dropped by the side of the road.

Period.

Maybe you can break that rope once or twice. But the fiber of its creation yet remains. Guaranteed to only come back in a stronger, more inhibiting and existence sapping manner.

But, if you break and then eliminate each strand, confinement to that way can no longer exist. Your change in your approach towards life then actually forms its own strands. Acting to extend outward, connecting you to others, healthy pursuits and affirming growth that act together, extending your reach, broadening your horizons and affirming your newly found true self.

Becoming woven into life in this manner means you are enmeshed with others.

True, healthy connection.

Ineinander.

One into the other.

Poor choices, ego, deceit, control, anger and resentment bind one up into isolation and abandonment. Cutting that cord, strand by strand, is freeing. It brings about a deeper understanding and appreciation for what you can become. No longer bound to the past, you can remain fully in the present. Abound in peace and serenity. Connecting to integrity, character, humility, joy and fulfilment.

The bond you now feel is that of respect, support, gratitude, compassion and love. One into the other.

One into living.

As it was intended.

“Thank you.”

“….they devised a plan to give a large sum of money to the soldiers, telling them, “You must say, ‘His disciples came by night and stole him away while we were asleep.’ “

Matthew 28:8-15

This floors me.

His band of brothers abandoned Him when things became threatening. And yet, He never backed down. All were witness to the horrendous end they chose for Him to endure for our sake. He accepted it fully. Without condition.

Neither “chief priest” nor “elder” could hold a candle to His level of covenant with us. As is to this very day, well designed deceit funded appropriatelty is the primary weapon used to defend the status of ego, rank and false esteem. Endorse, spread and maintain the lie.

As Bishop Barron asserts, there are faculty lounge versions of His life, death and so called resurrection. All attempts at mythifying truth. To this day, still well designed deceit, funded appropriately to encourage disbelief and spread that word. All meant to efend the status of ego, rank and false esteem.

Though thousands of years have passed, the chief priests and elders remain, renew and multiply.

In that regard, nothing much has changed in this world since then.

Thank God we were provided the option to choose another world in which to live.

“Thank you.”

My faith has truly been resurrected.

I love Christmas.

The shopping I do sans list. Operating on a hunch and whimsy. Wrapping and then being there for the unwrapping. The look on faces and the joy that abounds and surrounds. I love Christmas.

But Lent?

Now that is where I learned to thrive. Its deep, loving and reflective guidance towards the truth of Easter Sunday is what I need to flourish.

This one was truly singular in its impact on my life. So daunting in its many insights and affirmations. It will be my mission to employ the lessons learned this Lent as the cornerstone of maintaining this mind, heart and soul set until I embark my forty day pilgrimage next year.

My faith has truly been resurrected.

For free.

Daily writing prompt
What job would you do for free?

To answer, I would first have to address some verbiage and perspectives I hold that are consistent with this query. This stoic makes everything a job. Bet you didn’t see that coming.

I cannot say for certain that my mind goes to “job” when it comes to work or employment. Maybe it’s the connotation that steers me in another direction. A ‘”job” is what you have to do. Something more severe than an assignment. The harsh side of obligation. Being spent in an arduous, boring transaction that only renders cash.

“….a regular, contracted activity or piece of work performed in exchange for payment, serving as an individual’s role, task, or position of employment. It is the specific, often repetitive, set of responsibilities and duties an person holds, distinct from a broader career or profession.”

I don’t look at things that way. Like “I have to go to work”, or “I have to find another job”, You get to do a lot of things in life, and this is just another part of living it. I have been fortunate to have remained engaged in employment my entire life. In some situations, those around me asserted I was not making enough, was worth more, and was working for free.

The self worth aspects of that are being addressed as we speak.

But when the work engaged me in areas other than my wallet, I think I thrived in that environment. It was never a job at that point. It was fulfilling, affirming and necessary. So in that regard, I probably did work for free, or some modicum of charity.

Cannot recall the year, but I used to push my parents lawnmower and gas can around the neighborhood and cut lawns. Learned how to paint houses. Then pumped gas, learned how to check oil, then change oil and fill tires. Unloaded trucks and loaded butcher tables at a meat processing business.

Cleaned hospitals.

Learned to drive stick in a 10 ton dump truck to pick up gravel and ashphalt to patch streets and curbs in my hometown.

Sold appliances. Then into the business world of manufacturing and distribution. Now job development and coaching for those with diverse abilities. Looking into some other areas for engagement and enrichment. Hospice care? Maybe more writing. Who knows.

Everyone of these “jobs” had elements of charity in them. Where I did things off the clock. For free. It is just how I have always rolled. Now? I am never really off the clock. But as long as I can give something back, that is compensation enough. It may not swell the check book. But sure does so for the heart and soul.

So very, very long story short, in my stoic noggin, I have really never had a job. I just like to give my time, talents and treasures in a variety of manners, wherever, to just live my life. No rhyme or reason really. Sort of off the cuff. Never went to college to be anything other than an athlete. The degree just came along with the arthritis.

Has always been make it up as I go.

Things may have been tense and rocky at times. But it all worked out. And will continue to do so. That brings with it a great sense of freedom and serenity. If there happens to be a paycheck involved, then so be it.

But until then, I will keep working as I always have.

For free.

Now that is needed.

Daily writing prompt
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

Over the years, a way sort of presented itself to me.

So I just went with it.

Of late, after I am sure I am breathing, I then have to ensure limbs function. Shuffle off to Buffalo, start coffee, concoct a liquid IV for my best friend and gather her backpack and thermos together. I like to pack her car early so she can just focus on getting ready for a day of teaching. That is plenty to think about.

If it is garbage day, they get rolled out. Make the bed. Make sure sink is empty. Then if I need to start fast, off to communion service by seven. If there is room, then off to morning mass a quarter after eight. In between, if time allows, then daily prompt. If not, then onto the day.

I once read that if at minimum you make your bed, then despite how the rest of the day pans out, you have accomplished one thing.

Bet you never guessed I make hospital corners.

So many things I attend to take time and investment to blossom. Sort of the path I have chosen to travel. So I will gladly accept healthy modes of instant gratification whenever possible. Like weeding. In thirty minutes, you can change the appearance of a flower bed. In three minutes, the appearance of your bedroom. In one, the kitchen.

Nothing nit picky about these whatsoever. The tone is set, the momentum gathers and you can ride that wave for the rest of the day. Same with ending it. Closing ceremony routine there. Maybe that is the next prompt?

Maybe it has been termed “routine” because it is something needed. But it doesn’t feel as such.

It’s just life.

And its simple joys.

Now that is needed.