“Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business and, in fact, it is nobody’s business. What we are asked to do is to love, and this love itself will render both ourselves and our neighbors worthy.”
― Thomas Merton
There are a great many elements that are made to flow into, mesh and create a positive, genuine, impactful and lasting impression when it comes to coaching. Whether in an athletic, professional or special needs setting, one ingredient surpasses all.
Over the decades of coaching, it has become apparent that love is the one true catalyst for life rendering change, growth and achievement. Connecting all together at an altogether different level. Not so much an additive meant to alter the chemistry of the participants. But rather an individual or moment that precipitates a series of life altering and affirming events.
As a coach, the central tenet to coaching football is to foster player development through personal growth.
True player development is completely contingent on connecting to the individual within the player first. Your message and methods need to reach, recognize and reinforce both of these elements within each person.
Getting to know each player on a personal level, learning about their interests away from the field and supporting their other activities are important aspects of establishing this connection. A coach needs to recognize that football is just one small aspect of a player’s much bigger life picture.
Connecting to the individual on this basis affirms their true value to you on a personal level.
The individual within the pads.
This transcends the game, their position and athletic ability.
Despite the fact that you are the coach, and your initial connection and relation was in the context of football, gaining your approval on a non-athletic level is very important to each player. They will recognize that you are going to be there for them – with or without the pads.
Your investment into them at this level brings trust. They know that they can just be. And that helps shed the armor – for them and you both. You want them to be all they are and can become. They want you to help them to get there. Loving them enough to bring this about is what really matters in the game of life.
Knowing that you are there for them first, they will come to know that they can fail without fear, learn at their own pace, and aspire to fulfill their promise.
This is to love.
While this example gravitates towards the athletic side of things, I can attest that it lends itself to a professional setting, and now, working with those with diverse abilities.
Coaching is not about stopping to inquire or wonder whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business and, in fact, it is nobody’s business. What we are asked to do as a coach is to love.
And this love itself will render both ourselves worthy.
“Perseverance is a positive, active characteristic. It is not idly, passively waiting and hoping for some good thing to happen. It gives us hope by helping us realize that the righteous suffer no failure except in giving up and no longer trying. We must never give up, regardless of temptations, frustrations, disappointments, or discouragements.”
~ Joseph Wirthlin
The key element to perseverance is one’s total engagement in the activity of persevering; to be mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually connected to both enduring and overcoming adversity.
Recognizing it for what it truly is; an opportunity to be all you were meant to become. To display intention, resilience and most of all, character.
To persevere, one must embrace and be fully committed to that moment. And most of all, be aware of that one moment’s ramifications on the future.
It is to behold that one incredible circumstance in such a way that it can only be endowed for what it truly is. The indelible impression on your soul brought by an endurance of this nature.
“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen
Like patience, joy requires intention, participation and an element of perseverance. Undoubtedly, it is meant to be realized in life events; a wedding, anniversary, birthdays, dinner with mom and dad and the like, But again, even in those circumstances, it needs to be discovered, recognized and embraced.
Choosing joy requires that you add a sixth sense.
The vision to see things, actions, events and others for what they are. Like the smile from a stranger. Your just made bed. A reunion picture. To hear what is actually being said or conveyed and appreciating the tone with which it is being delivered. “Thank you.” “I appreciate that”. “Hi!”
To take in and absorb the aroma of a spring morning, fresh cut grass, cookies coming out of the oven. Closing your eyes and tasting those cookies, imagining how dinner is going to be, remembering the last time you had an ice cream cone. Shaking a new acquaintance’s hand. Putting your hand on another’s shoulder. Having them place theirs on yours. A hug.
When you come to think about it, joy simply abounds. That is, if you are open to it and allow it into your heart and soul.
“…The crowd is a large part of the problem. The raucous voices of so many, the insistent bray of the advertising culture, the confusing Babel of competing spiritualities—all of it makes us deaf to God’s word. And therefore, we have to be moved to a place of silence and communion.
Jesus draws us into his space, the space of the Church.”
– Bishop Robert Barron
Taken from yesterday’s gospel reflection regarding the healing of a deaf man.
While the whole of his offering was truly thought provoking, it was this aspect that resonated. Taking him away from the crowd, He was then able to connect with that man in a way he never knew. Drawing him away from all of them so that he could for once be with Him.
Fitting lesson considering the times we live in.
One can find themselves inundated by the raucous voices of many in all manner of media, overwhelmed by the insistent bray of the advertising culture in every shape, manner and form and deluged by a bewildering array of ego driven spiritual competition.
Speaking from experience, the most challenging aspect of this can be drawing yourself away from the current space and into that space. His space. A venue absent of the din. A setting that provides one hearing in a manner that truly matters. Absolute sustenance.
Again, speaking from experience, a very challenging venture to say the least. But throughout those sparse moments of success, it does bring one a true sense of peace. A chance to actually hear. And finally connect in a lasting manner.
...my temporary assignment. 