“Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am. That I will never fulfill my obligation to surpass myself unless I first accept myself, and if I accept myself fully in the right way, I will already have surpassed myself.”
― Thomas Merton
Perspective, to me, is largely vision. Maybe not so literally. But perhaps more so tangibly. How what you have experienced, embraced, engaged in, exchanged or exhumed have come to currently define your presence and being in this moment.
The combination of significant life events and time have the potential to create wonder, fulfillment and joy. On the flip side, they can also work in the opposite direction, producing woe, abandonment and despair. All of which are contingent on perspective. The tangible.
Of all the many tangible gifts of perspective granted to me through my ongoing experience in football, the two that stand apart involve adversity.
The first, spoken by a true mentor was this: “Adversity is never an if proposition, but only a when event”. The other, of more recent vintage, read was this, “event plus response equals outcome”
The theme central to each of these perspectives?
Opportunity as it conveyed through choice.
For in the former, when adversity occurs, you may exercise your free will to choose how you will respond. That decision will ultimately reveal the opportunity that lay in all adversity. Or, lead to fight or flight, being seen only as a threat. In the latter, the equation involving a tangible perspective is fully fleshed out. E+R=O. Applicable to virutally any and all interactions, whether trying or accommodating.
So, back to the prompt.
Lacking a true, tangible perspective regarding life events added to the passage of time has wreaked some havoc around these parts. Simply thinking things will get better, this too shall pass and parking it on the back burner have a tendency to place the onus elsewhere. Deflect responsibility. Even blame in the worst sense.
Choosing a path of avoidance over acceptance, gifting those calamities to other sources while delaying tangible engagement produces exactly the outcome you chose.
On the other hand, genuine acceptance, honest ownership and fully intentional association with all events, in real time, will effect not just change, but the outcome desired. Opportunities found in all manner of adversity. Positive, fulfilling and lasting outcomes conveyed through choice.
Assuming this tangible perspective creates in me a joyful anticipation of life events. And my soul’s desire and most ardent wish is that they will all fit within my ultimate passage of time. I no longer simply envision where it is I am going and what I am starting to become. I can actually feel to movement. The change. My outcome.
Finally.
No longer if.
Just when.
Being more present creates a compelling awareness of a genuine resonance within my core. Moments are literally filled with opportunities of enlightenment. Subject matter with origins multiple millennia ago, intermeshed within generation after generation, touching all aspects of life.
Old leading to New, bringing us all to now.
Me especially.
There is nothing random, circumstantial or accidental about any of it. Coincidence perhaps. But only when defined as Mr. Einstein saw it.
In the Old Testament, Bishop Barron offered that one of the most important words used to describe God is the Judaic term “chesed”, meaning tender mercy. A loving kindness, representing active, steadfast love, mercy and grace. Compassion.
In the New Testament, God is described in the First Letter of John as “agape”, or simply, love. A love of the most highest form. Selfless, unconditional and charitable. To be given without any expectation of return. Willing the good of another.
Live fully, guided by a tender mercy that exudes love for another.
Build a life of compassion by willing the good of another.
An intention initially expressed thousands of years ago, producing a genuine resonance to the core today.
Garnered through presence. A most divine gift.
Old leading to New.
Bringing me to now.
To be honest, there are two long lingering items residing on that list. Not an actual list per se. But on that Post It note stuck between my ears, in what is left in that old noggin.
Self-forgiveness is something that has not ever really been addressed. One of those things I guess you don’t feel you have earned for some reason. Don’t deserve. Or just not necessary. But over the course of a lifetime, that hyphenated necessity can take on quite the mass. Slooping the shoulders and neck. Wreaking havoc on perception. Leading to bad choices and even badder habits.
We all fuck up. That is just a given. And in the grand scheme of things, somehow its sibling given has to be not only contrition, but what needs to come after. Self-forgiveness. My sense is that when you are finally able to crack open the armor, grace finds its way into that mess beneath, bringing with it peace, healing and most of all, forgiveness. Upon sensing that, you may do a double take.
“Was that for me?”
Yes, it is. And as such, you too can start to forgive yourself. With that, the mass begins to shrink. Shoulders and neck return to the proper posture. There is a greater clarity in things, accompanied by a true vision. Choices are now made to live. Habits now bring joy.
Which brings me to the other resident on that Post It; taking care of myself.
Simple things. Develop a relationship with health care professionals. Leave social media and news to the masses. Get back to the gym. (Still figuring out how to fit it into the schedule.) Read. Find and follow that true vocation. Be present. Love. Let go, and let God.
I know. You all knew where this was going. But I just wanted to share it. I am leaving that Post It right where it is. Not as a mode of being pecked by a hen. But just as a healthy reminder. That I am forgiven, so I should then do so for myself. And just take care. There are sunrises to see, so many flowers and ‘maters to be grown, books to be opened, masses to attend, health to be improved, kids and others to coach and prompts to be written.
It really isn’t about being on a list.
It’s just about being.
Cannot say I have one.
Chicken on the grill, especially some thighs and wings with “Wisdom” seasoning is a great make and eat. Salmon too. Its all so good. And despite the climes we are in, we can fire up the Weber pretty much year round. Might need the long undies on, but well worth it. And everything you wear out there smells like it !
A scrambler for breakfast is fun to make and really food eatin’ too. Aside from the eggs, whatever veggies and cheesies we have in the fridge get chopped up and added to the mix. Not so much cows or pigs for us. You get some broccoli, ‘shrooms, scallions, peppers, cauliflower, you name it. As long as they aren’t runny we are always good to go. Stays with you the whole day.
Then there are my cookies.
Gonna make a few batches for some of my close friends that are hosting a Superbowl watch party. Those will all be made Sunday morning. Then, while I am at it, a couple more batches for my best friends’ students. They earned it. And then even more for the Hawks this coming Tuesday. Once the process is in place for those bad boys, they just roll out and stack up.
Your clothes even start to smell like chocolate chip cookies. Now that I think of it, those scramblers do it too, just like birds on the grill.
What a great coincidence.
Not only do you get to make them.
You get to eat them.
And, wear ’em.
Yum!
...my temporary assignment. 