divinity – …my temporary assignment.

I see.

“Amazing grace! how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch; like me!

I once was lost, but now am found, Was blind, but now I see.”

– John Newton

This hymn swells my heart, fills my soul and wells up my eyes with true gratitude. Speaks to the twin blessings of both a divine and self forgiveness. How the sense of being saved rings true in a new found presence for life.

Whatever the source of one’s wretchedness, state of sin, spiritual need, distress or desperate need for rescue and redemption, His presence, love and loop of grace leads one to a saving source of repentance. Bringing forth an entirely different sensory affirmation of life in the world about us. An unmistakable melody of gratitude heightened by a new found vision.

Being lost is an orientation far more than simply geographical. It may not be readily apparent from an external perspective. But internalized, it can assume an excruciatingly painful and perilously winding nature, replete with false starts, stops and changes in direction. Dishonesty, self righteousness and a self absorbing sense of ego leads one to isolation and a perpetual nonexistence. Being present, engaged and invested are exchanged for absence, disconnection and apathy.

With renewed vision and a truer recognition of this existence born of His grace, that blindness gives way to an awareness of life and all it is meant to be. That loop born of His mercy for you is such that when you witness and receive it for yourself, you cannot help but to embrace the thoughts, words and deeds that can be freely given to those around you, so they might too live it for themselves.

Given the circumstances of the author of this replenishing hymn and that of the author of this post, we can all enslave others or enslave ourselves by and through sin. No matter our origin, that we all share in common. That is what gives us our original nature.

And as such, He encircles us with true redemption through grace in a heavenly embrace. A gift that once received that is intended to be given back. Not in terms of or in the form of a transaction. But just as freely as we ourselves were compensated as such. As a gift.

So that we all may know the sweetness of its sound. And follow its path leading our way back into His light.

Was truly blind.

But now?

I see.

To love.

We all are made to love.

Part of His divine design. As created by our higher power. God is the very source of love and we are called to embrace, reflect and direct that love to others.

Yet during the course of life’s travails, disappointments and distrust, we begin to engage in the process of actively obscuring that attribute. Cordoning off that integral and essential aspect of our being. Seeking ephemeral pursuits. Avoiding our true nature. Evading our responsibility. And in so doing, creating a false sense of security, safety and wellbeing.

Despite the fact that we are hardwired for it, and it is our primary purpose, it can hurt to love.

To give it without condition, guarantee or quid pro quo. To expose oneself to a seemingly fatal level of self-inflicted pain. We convince ourselves to capitulate to that illusion. That we will not survive the giving. That it will never be received as we intend. Or more to the point – how we expect it to be taken. Or that we need to be present to witness the ultimate outcome.

Choosing to succumb to a skinned knee, while another within our immediate universe might be in the throes of a hopeless, lingering, lonely spiral downward. Choosing process, research and expediency over interaction, intuition and patience. Focusing on our flaws rather than the good inherent to the core. Choosing ourselves and our needs first over those of another and making them second.

True, dispensing, gifting and asserting love are all arduous tasks. The heaviest lifting imaginable Missions that can generate more than their fair share of discomfort, disappointment and despair.

Forgoing our heavenly purpose, ignoring our design and ignoring our Creator.

Fortunately, there are those within our midst that refuse to be deterred. Fervently remaining on point. Absorbing the pain. Depleting themselves. Giving it up.

These sturdy souls, with an unyielding faith, have leaned into this mission. Recognized that their purpose lay within. The pain is temporary. Reserves can be refilled. And giving it up is who they are.

You see, we are all made to love. It’s just that we need to trust in that level of faith, learn to surrender ourselves to Him, and allow Him to direct our path.

Then we will be fully equipped and supported to do so for others.

To love.