god – …my temporary assignment.

And it is gonna be great.

Daily writing prompt

What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?

Longevity ebbs and flows in my family. I remember my grandpa driving at 97, before he thought Uber was a better mode of transport. Well, maybe not Uber, but “Uncle”. Then there is my younger brother that just passed two years ago.

So it is what it is.

As far as I am concerned, for the purposes of today’s assignment, it comes down to being fully intentional about making the most of what you have been gifted.

Experience tells me that allocating the precious resources granted for this moment towards resentment, regret and retribution of the past is not what it is cracked up to be. Then, if you embark in advance of the here and now predicated on the approach of, “…that didn’t work, so I will cut this corner and use that short cut this time sround”, you pretty much added to an already sorrowful past.

The past is what it was. The future is what it may be. The present is just that, a present like Mr. Keane said a few days ago. That being said, I have no clue as to what living a long life is to me. If I can make the most out of every hour of every day going forward, then that will elongate my stay here.

When it comes time to give my notice, my only desire is that I can rest in peace knowing I gave it my everything. We are all gifted this position here on earth. Toiling in the dirt and debris of the past or buzzing about in the ether of the future would make me a worm or a fly. Nothing against them, but I like to think my focus needs to be on living life, not looking for feces.

So perhaps my longevity ends up somewhere between my grandpa and my brother. So be it.

Whatever the case, I have a lot to do today.

And it is gonna be great.

“I love you”

Daily writing prompt

If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?

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Once I embarked on my journey towards faith, two things were revealed. One, that the story would remain a constant, following a path that shared the seasons. This brings with it a sense of peace and serenity, knowing the way. But more stunning to me is the fact that along each step of the way, I become aware of something new, different and touching.

Perhaps it is how the story is told, through a multitude of voices, perspectives and experiences that provides greater impact and deeper meaning. Add to that the fact that the moments and revelations shared were not of this century, the prior, or even millenia. They were uttered or written long, long ago, spoken in to others with ancient tongues and dialects, detailed with reed and papyrus. And yet, at this instant, they maintain a revelance and power far beyond anything today.

Just over the past few days, John speaks of the difference of being one of the world and being one of God. How our infirmities and debilitation is fostered, raised and enhanced by things all around us. Being caught up in these concerns, like resentment, ego and self-righteousness, takes one down a ruinous path, speaking from my own experience. But upon letting go of things born of the world around you, an altogher different life takes hold. In a comforting, sustaining and altogher safe way.

His only son was sent here to teach all of us how to live and to love. When you feel as though there is nothing left for you, that you are worthless, unvalued and ruined, you can leave this world behind. Not in a hopeless manner. But in a hope-full approach. So as to truly be what you were made for, with true intention, trust and the knowledge that you are loved steadfastly and singularly.

We may be on the earth for now, but by no means does this require us to be of this world. We have the free will to choose.

And finally, to just live.

So if I had a billboard?

How about this:

“I love you”

“The gift that keeps on giving, Clark.”

Daily writing prompt

Who are the biggest influences in your life?

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To answer this, I have to first share another aspect of my forthcoming answer. I know, this is totally out of character. But because of the biggest influence, I am better able to embrace many others that just appear and touch my life.

For the longest time, I have had to somehow touch everything in my life. Be totally involved, manage, tend to every aspect, control, contend, bark, direct, etc., etc, ad nauseum. Effectively squeezing out anything or anyone that could have made an impact for the most part. If the guard came down, there would be those epiphanies, scattered far and wide. And many of them remain to this day.

But when I got to the point where none of that worked for me, in fact only worked against me and to my detriment, I simply accepted things and learned to become efficient and effusive with mea culpas. Let go. Lived for this moment. Then the next ten minutes. Another ten. And so on.

A true sense of peace and serenity found me. Once I accepted its gradual but all persuasive and positively pervasive appearance and influence, I just rolled with it. The more I loosed my grip on things, the deeper and wider it grew. Things I read now made sense. What others shared gave me courage and strength. Each moment became an entirely new experience, never knowing who may, what would, justhow or where I might be reformed and re-formed.

No matter how much I thought I could do just because it was me in charge, I couldn’t, wouldn’t or didn’t. But once I just honestly capitualted and let go, I could, would and do. Guided by the influence of all those that somehow just happen to be there, say what needs to be heard, do what I cannot and offer to share what I cannot carry alone.

Like me, they too must have waved the white flag and let go. To experience this level of influence by those that have embraced it too is an altogether different level of peace, serenity and security.

Makes this time of year even better.

“The gift that keeps on giving, Clark.”

His focus.

The various fonts of my ongoing amateur authorship affinity has carried with them a number of different monikers. Most of which were football or coaching affiliated and oriented.

One, once began some time ago, “…a temporary assignment” was somewhat a center of my attention, evocative of that moment in my life. A period of an altogether different level of processing and being. Unaware, or perhaps more honestly unprepared for the feces that would soon hit the fan. Directed for the most part by my inept, irrational and mostly intentional thoughts, words and actions.

So much for leading by example. But I digress….

As of late, things have been brought into focus. Not back into, for that would imply the way things were then needed to be better seen so as to promote my immediate return to them. I would hazard to say that focus has never been one of my strong suits. Well, perhaps it appeared as such, albeit superficially.

Perhaps.

Maybe that remains to be seen.

Of late, things are different. Largely because the direction of my gaze has changed. No longer am I trying to re-see where I was currently looking. Mostly behind. I think I better understand its relevance to this moment, but it no longer rules the day. Same can be said for what may or may not lay ahead. Though we may think other wise, there isn’t much say in that department.

Which this morning led me to better grasp “….my temporary assignment.” No where close to the first or second iteration. Hopefully what is said about the third time has merit and veracity.

Today is what I have. And what I choose to do with it is an assignment of the utmost importance. Tasks that have been granted by a grace freely given. Delivered by the thoughts now received, the words readily heard and the actions witnessed.

Nothing to do with bringing things back into focus. Just being able to finally really see.

His focus.

But I digress…

A very compelling question to begin the day.

There are a number of those that have cast an impression upon me, in their way, ultimately soliciting a positive outcome in my life. Some are instantaneous in nature, sort of a spontaneous combustion event. While there are those that were merely planted, left and took months, years or decades to germinate and come to fruition.

Moments, interactions and relationships can assume an identity all their own, playing out a role that may not be readily apparent. There are those that bring with them an open and genuine level of honesty and positivity. Meant for one’s immediate care and benefit. Delivered with complete integrity, humility and a love born of servanthood to all those in need.

The impact of those interactions are immediately apparent. And I can name many that were there in that fashion, precisely when I desperately needed it.

One in particular was so in tune with my wellbeing, that he somehow called me, out of the blue, precisely during one of my worst moments, simply because he wanted me to know that he was there for me. No matter what. To this day, I remain touched by this level of loving care. The fact that I just shared this event with all of you brings tears to my eyes, despite the fact it happened well over a decade ago.

Then, there are those lessons one encounters that begin more with a somewhat arbitrary sense of conviction and desire, because its “how I did it and it works, so you should do it too.” Born more of convention or convenience. Just because. And depending on the current circumstances in one’s life, one might be more apt to surrender a bit oneself to become like them. Join the clique. Be a member of the “team”.

At first, things may reap the rewards yearned for, creating a false sense of “I made it.” But as the cost to your true being is accounted for, things slip away and you can descend into realms that taint, harm and destroy. There might be ways to assuage this sense of loss and losing recognition of who it is you were to start. But ultimately, it becomes a lesson of redemption and rebirth. An interaction that cast a cloud of negativity over you and your life. But ultimately, in the final analysis, led you to where you were meant to be.

Just as I am indebted to those who have touched my soul in ways I never imagined, I too am grateful that others have led me to tough lessons in self realization and affirmation. Perhaps they were never intended to be how I accepted them. But despite the negative origins, they too became a positive and lasting influence on me. And to those men, I am also grateful for being a part of my journey.

I tend to digress once pen is in hand. But with regard to the basis of the prompt, “describe a man who has positively impacted your life”, without a doubt, he would be Him. God.

It was He that suggested that many fellow coach should call precisely when I needed to hear his voice and feel his love. And it was He that allowed me to exercise my free will, albeit poor in execution, while remaining right next to me as I rebuilt and found my true way forward in life. He brought all those other men in and out of my life, when they were needed, then not, so that I could finally find this man.

The one sharing this prompt on one of the best days ever.

According to His plan.

But I digress…