mental-health – …my temporary assignment.

It has no peer.

Adversity may be defined mostly in terms of tangible situations or moments. But its influence can be especially prevalent in far more subtle contexts.

Like peer pressure.

To be identified as a potential member of a certain group and gain access to its inner sanctum might be viewed as an extremely important and noteworthy achievement for many people. No matter one’s age.

This venture might become so vital as a self-image and identity enhancement that making all the subsequent wrong choices are acceptable expenditures for the meager dividends expected to be earned.

And the ensuing collateral damage? Just part of the program.

Rationalization can become an instinct stronger to one than that of survival. It has the power to transform the known black and white into gradients of reasonable gray.

For once the quest for inclusion with those peers deemed “most worthy” overrides doing what is right, judgement is the first thing to be cast aside. And as thoughts, words and finally deeds dissolve into this hue, one can justify, defend and vindicate just about anything.

Undermining your better nature. Ignoring what you know is right.

Even surrendering character.

There isn’t much contrast across the choices spectrum once you cross that threshold. Decisions tend to go only in one direction; from bad, to badder, to baddest. Rationalized as some of the necessary evils that come with being “one of the boys or girls”.

The curse that begets those bountiful “blessings of being in”.

Isn’t it strange how people who seemingly have the world by the tail can still feel the tug of the herd. Despite the overwhelming value of their talents, an abundance of gifts and their inherent good nature, some “thing” seems to be missing.

Efforts at your addition with the approval from the herd, in reality can act as subtraction. A venture that can lead one to the pursuit of shallow, short-sighted, and oftentimes risky behavior. Creating a cavity within that only becomes deeper and grows ever wider the farther you get from your true self.

A brand of adversity that can be a force all its own, speaking from experience.

For this form of pressure is one of a kind.

It has no peer.

Undefined Stock photos by Vecteezy

And life.

“You don’t think your way into a new kind of living. You live your way into a new kind of thinking.”
― Henry Nouwen

Though all is contained in one collective space, the mind, heart, body and soul can vie for preeminence over each other or become independent of one another. At least that has been my experience.

The mind has its intnetions in the right place, but yet, if it cannot interconnect with its teammates, there will be little if any change in course. It can generate great ideas and stimulate a new vision, but if the heart doesn’t buy into it and the spirit is not willing, well, you know how the state of the flesh.

Talking oneself out of great beginnings has been one of this author’s highest acheivements. The sensation is akin to rolling oneself out of a deep snow drift. Rev it up, rock it back, rev it up more, rock it back. You get the gist. Laying out vast schematics within your mind as to why things just won’t work the way you wish. Then avoiding the revision that points out the straightest path.

All the while, your heart retains an unfulfilled emptiness, your soul untested and a body stuck in an idle neutral.

Yet, if you overcome the urge to reinvent and rationalize, and to paraphrase, “do it”, then all heck breaks loose. The heart begins to engage and fill with a sense of joy brought on by the actions. Your soul begins to align and see an incumbent purpose in the undertaking. Your body generates an energy and momentum to carry moment and those to come. And your mind, quips, “why didn’t I think of this?”

When all four work in concert, they collaborate not just to maintain but to elevate their game. Rallying to overcome adversity and challenges that may attack a specific aspect of your being by acting as one. Smarter overcomes harder. Joy inundates sorrows. Purpose replaces purposeless. And a new found stamina energizes the entire enterprise.

Thinking about it does have its place. But that may only serve to restrict you to a highly confined area. Living it invites you to an ever sprawling world. Embracing all there is about you. Open to adventure. Learning. Growth. Connection. Purpose.

And life.

Harmony

“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state…Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”

― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

So I do find a great deal of validity in the words of Mr. Allen.

Though he speaks primarily from the first person perspective, there is an element of the Third person in all he says. He does seem to speak through Him to us even when he or we do not realize it. But I digress…

We are only able to attract what we want, through what we are.

If we fail from a character sense, make poor choices, lay blame on others, the world around us and pretend to be something we were never intended to be, we will attract similar beings, situations and reality. All because we choose to settle. Assume a convenient path. What makes things comfy. And all that enables us to avoid the truth. By being that which we are.

But then again, what about the impact of making good choices despite the push back from your past, others and the expectations of the herd? Or the effect of accepting responsibility, holding oneself accountable and ignoring the opinion of the masses? Choosing to accept what you know to be true about yourself regardless of conventional wisdom? And pursuing a path not less chosen but never attempted by you? Again, being what you are.

If you choose the latter, you WILL attract the forces of affirmation and what it is you wanty. You will become what you are, because you have fully acknowledged yourself, discerned how you can grow into that being and see where all of those difficult choices will ultimately take you.

We can only attract what we see in ourselves. To that I can attest.

So hear what the wise old mooses have to share.

Lean into what you know to be your truth regardless of the cost.

Embrace the challenge.

Push forward.

Be all that which you are.

Then see what comes your way.

Harmony.

Joy

With an open heart and mind, plus a little effort, there is much joy to be found all around you.And for some reason you may have to learn how to find it. Gain a sense of what it looks like. Sounds like. Feels like.

It is beyond fun.

I am telling you it lasts way longer than just plain old fun.

Way longer.

Mostly because it is like this living, breathing being. Your partner in all the things you do, the efforts you make and the commitments you honor.

Now this may sound dumb, but it can be found in some of the oddest places.

Like at a practice.

Working after class with your calc teacher to understand differential equations.

Struggling to master an adagio.

Tutoring a youngster to speak English.

Little things that bring more than just fun.

Something far deeper than happiness.

So let me ask you this:

You ever really listen to what it sounds like when you are having a great practice?

Capture that sensation when you solve a linear partial differential equation on your own?

Feel the deliberate, meandering nature of a well executed adagio ?

Or share in the sense of wonderment that comes with reading your first sentence?

Little things that may not seem like all that much.

Instants that can dissipate before you know it.

But moments you can return to over and over and over again.

As often as you like.

Once you have been there.

And know what they look, sound and feel like.

That living, breathing being.

Partner in all the things you do. The efforts you make.

And the commitments you honor.

Joy.

(Came across this one from 2015.)

G=R

Ralph Marston Jr., an inspirational author once said; “Your goals, minus your doubts, equals your reality.”

If you want, you could take this concept, reduce it even further, and transform it into some simple arithmetic.

G – D = R

With some effort, a personal commitment and a positive attitude, you can solve for “R”. And being that you are the one to control the factors, you are also the one that can make the difference.

A dream is a blueprint.

A fully illustrated and dimensionalized rendering of your goals. Creating an image that is so vivid, that you can actually live in it, each step along the way.

Until you make it your reality.

That image of what you want to do, where you want to go, and what you want to be, becomes the focal point of everything you do along the way to get there. Then all you need to do is make what is going on out here match with what you see in your head and what you feel in your heart.

It requires an extraordinary level of vision to be able to “see” that goal.

Because you can never afford to lose sight of the present; the moment you are in right now. This is where all the prep work takes place. Discipline learned. Commitments made. Attitudes formed. Character revealed.

Yet you also need to develop the skills to check the horizon, to establish your coordinates and to adjust your long term plans if need be.

If it appears that your destination – the goal – is getting closer, then perhaps your work in the present is paying off. You are making progress, you are affecting your reality.

And once you get to that point, when you get there, it will be like deja vu all over again. You will have already spent months or years in that moment, in that very place Only this time, you get to actually do it.

However, if you look up and find the horizon seems farther away than when you last looked, or is missing altogether, perhaps it is time to regroup.

It can be at this juncture where doubt can make its presence known. Excuses, rationalization and self pity will begin to take their toll. A negative attitude can add to the inertia, increasing drag, acting as an anchor.

Self doubt can begin to slowly destroy your spirit, overshadow your confidence, bury your talent, and push you to simply quit. The voice within you that always said. “I know I can” grows silent.

Self doubt is a choice, and if you allow it to take root it can diminish the value of your goal substantially. Allow it to grow and get out of control, self doubt will ultimately erase your goal in its entirety, leaving in its wake, a reality marked by unrealized potential, disappointment and pain.

Your choices wield the power to ignore self doubt’s distractions and eliminate them altogether.

You can choose to refuse doubt.

With vision, a positive attitude, and the ‘want to’ to eliminate self doubt, the equation for success is simpler yet: goals equal reality.

Or:

G=R