Tag: mental-health

Doubt

Mr. Shakespeare once wrote:  “Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”  

Words which speak of an inner conflict common to us all.  A hand to hand combat engaged from within.  When aspirations to become and achieve come in conflict with the risk associated with escape from your current reality. 

When dreams are overrun  by a phalanx of “common sense” and  the little voice that whispers “Yes.  You can.”, becomes shouted down by, “What in the world are you thinking?”.

Yes, our doubts are traitors.  

Made to betray our efforts, our commitments and our character.  

Our doubts seek to cajole and finesse one into believing your best interests lay in accepting the security that might reside in the  present instead of embracing the possibilities  of what you can make to follow.   

Our doubts twist  events and circumstances so the only perspective is negative.   Presenting an appearance that  consequences are more evident and abundant than the opportunity that always resides on just the other side.  

Our doubts are the comforting arm around your shoulder you seek when you fail – before you even attempt to try.  They are the self generated distractions designed to let you off the hook.  The white noise of rationale, excuse and drama. 

James Allen once  put it: “Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself.”

Yet we fail to realize that within that very same armory are housed the dies of your salvation, opportunity and excellence. 

For man “…also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought….”  (James Allen “A man thinketh”)

Doubt is ill suited to thrive when exposed to these elements.  

Doubt dissipates under the brilliance of vision and aspirations. 

Doubt will succumb to the intensity of purpose with intention.  

Ultimately, doubt is excised by excellence. 

So begin now. 

Cast the dies that will forge your tools.    

– Choose to live  as “who” you see yourself being.  

– Act as “what” you intend to become. 

– Imagine you are already  “where” you dream of going   

Equip yourself  to persist and persevere. Press beyond fear, dispense with the drama and accept expectations. 

Allow that “you just know it” sensation to take hold, and embrace a level of  faith that will enable you to  overcome an inertia borne of skepticism, reluctance and doubt. All the while generating palpable momentum, a sustaining source of strength and a heightened level of confidence. 

In a collaborative effort of thought, choice and deeds, each working in concert to affirm a  blueprint of how you will conduct yourself and pattern your life.

So be true to yourself with a firm and resilient loyalty.  

Never abide the treason of doubt.

Ever outward.

“The first act of leadership is coming to grips with yourself, who you are, where you are, and what is of value to you, and shaping yourself by acts of conscious will into what you want to become.”

FENWICK W. ENGLISH 

To lead others, it is necessary that you are first able to lead yourself. A task that can get the best of most, if you are not quite sure “who” exactly it is that you are leading. 

Coming to grips with yourself – each facet that makes up the “who” you are – demands a high level of self awareness, unvarnished honesty and a measure of forgiveness. Once you have completed a thorough, yet loving,  self assessment then you are in a better position to begin the work that is needed to make a present reality meet the future vision. 

Each of us is a work in progress.   

For there is always capacity for growth, improvement and actualization. Besides, becoming what you were intended to be isn’t an overnight affair. Never.  It takes time, guts, perseverance and a measure of “want to” to will yourself into becoming the best version of that person you see in  the mirror. 

As time goes by, it won’t just be you seeing that reflection. Others will be drawn in  to take a  look too and see what the fuss is all about. 

Through seeing you, witnessing and experiencing your efforts, they will want to try to embrace a glimpse of what could be them should they choose to follow your lead. They will want to learn, understand and then share in that very process. So that they know from the source  how one can shape and will oneself into that best version of themselves. 

They will welcome and  benefit from seeing you fail and learning from your mistakes so that they may do the same.  They will relish and  appreciate the wisdom you provide on your journey  as they work towards their own goals on theirs. 

Leading yourself first in an open and honest fashion ultimately leads others to do the same.

Shaping all by acts of a conscious will into what you choose to  become. 

So they may as well. 

Forever spreading ever outward.

It just is.

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” 

— Leonardo Da Vinci

At some point, action is required.

It just is. 

And you must “do.” 

It is a trait of leadership to be able to not only recognize this vacuum but pour yourself into it. That singular  moment that must be met and filled. With effort. Commitment. And character. 

There is no manual, class or team dinner game sheet that will tell you when. 

You just have to be fully embraced in it, be aware of it, and respond. 

You may fail once, twice or ten times. 

But simply knowing when the moment arrives and knowing what to do will not suffice. 

It is not enough. 

You must simply do. 

It just is.

Focus.

It was once said that courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the choice you make in the face of fear. Similarly, focus does not exist in the absence of distractions – it exists in spite of them. 

Focus, then, also represents a choice. The decision you make to maintain and hold fast to your “vision” regardless of the situation, temptation or challenge.

It is highly unlikely that you will ever find yourself in an environment totally free of distractions. You can always count on something to be there to draw your attention, pick away at your resolve or make you second-guess your intentions, abilities and actions. 

Distractions – especially now – are going to be more than abundant.

Some of these will present themselves as the self-inflicted variety. Usually born of doubt.

The ones you create and then tell yourself. You know, those little white lies that excuse the failure you are ultimately setting yourself up for. The rationale you use to lessen expectations, dim the light of your talents and diminish your purpose. The fiction that only serves to deflect attention from performance. 

The prose that is generated to soften the blow when you tell yourself that you are not quite up to the challenge, because you think it might require too much of you. All because you choose to allow doubt to wedge its way into you.

Then there are those distractions that will act to divert your focus from the outside in. Perhaps it is your peers chipping away at your self imposed discipline, sacrifice and commitment. Or the press and the punditry that look to fill their space with copy and your head with nonsense. The chirping opponent looking to draw a flag.

A hostile playoff venue to take you out of your game. If you allow yourself to succumb to these types of “noise”, your eyes may come off the ball. You might lose your way. Failure may appear.

You have the ability to overcome these distractions, maintain your focus and relentlessly pursue your vision.

But this talent needs to be exercised regularly. Your ability to choose to remain focused in the face of distraction can become powerful – but only if you consistently challenge yourself to do so in all cases.

Confront every distraction and put it in their place. Recognize their origins and intentions. See them for what they usually are – self-doubt.

Keep your eyes on the prize, your head in the game and your heart full of purpose.

Focus.

Unordinary.

“We meet no ordinary people in our lives.”

― C.S. Lewis; Inspirational Christian Library

My mom’s father, Grandpa Cordts, “knew no strangers”.  Whenever I was with him out in public, at the store, getting gas, buying worms or playing putt-putt, everyone within sight and sound seemed to know him. 

That isn’t to say that he or they did.  It is just that EVERYONE he encountered each day, no matter the circumstance, investment or need was approached as a friend.  Someone that went way back. The one in the back row of the picture.  A compatriot. 

Was not aware of it then, but as I go about daily life now, how he went about life left an impression on me.  As it stands, I don’t know any strangers either. 

And when you go about it in that fashion, you cannot believe what you learn.  

Once they recognize that they can just be open, all sorts of things flow out.  Not that they are meant to be sewed all over.  Just that they want me to hear and know it.  Shared as a friend. With trust and an understanding that it was in some sense collaborative, restorative and affirmative. 

And is ain’t all one sided.  You share as well.  In an equally genuine fashion.  Maybe you only see them the next week, month or year.  Perhaps never again.  But they did.  You did.  

And it was something.  

Maybe substantial in certain situations.  Maybe just the spur of the moment.  

But again, if you think about it, not really ordinary.  In all actuality, those chance moments become special.  Not because they were designed that way.  But simply because they were.  

Unordinary.  

Like them.  

And what we – and they – chose to make that encounter to be.  

Unordinary.