Tag Archives: patience

Wait, is that a smile?

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Daily writing prompt
What’s a moment you wish you could freeze and live in forever?
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First off, I have lived in the Midwest pretty much my entire existence, so there has been ample opportunity to freeze and live in forever. Don’t get me wrong, we get all four seasons, in no particular order, but shorts and a T to jeans and a down coat the next day is life in these parts.

That being said, I would drop the vernacular and replace “freeze” with something more temperate. Like the perpetual warmth that accompanies rapture. A being carried away by intense and loving sense of delight, joy, bliss and euphoria. (Sorry Syd, not you.)

Maybe this better captures my thoughts:

Awe.

‘Cause then I get to use a word I made up, allegedly, in some other tome; awe-full. To find yourself full of awe. Bet you never guessed any of this was going happen in this prompt. Funny where life takes you. Especially when this guy is driving the bus.

That being said, or rather all of this being said, I think I would be inclined to want to find myself in awe over and over again. At random. Not always or every time. Then it could become redundant. The same old, same old. That would deplete it of its lustre, lower the “what the…??!!!!” aspect of its sudden appearance and transform it from a gift of grace to an exercise of expectation. In short, it would be aweful.

So knowing and appreciating the centering, healing and resurrective essence of awe, perhaps I would ask that I could somehow became more open and aware of the circumstances that lend themselves to bringing it all about. Not that I need to make that happen or want to be the sole creator of those moments. I turned in my resignation for being in charge of everything a little while ago. A weird hybrid schedule.

But if I could somehow be better equipped as a human to nourish the circumstances leading up to it, and then witness its birth, then I would be one happy camper.

Living an awe-full life.

A wish come true.

Wait, is that a smile?

But I can catch His excellence.

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Daily writing prompt
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
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I cannot say I live by one, but I can say I think of some more than others. It is a rather fluid situation. Their respective rank has shifted and changed over the course of time, largely because I have changed over the course of time. Or rather, I am in the process of changing over the course of time. Wait. I am finally realizing change is needed now because there is not a lot of time remaining. Boom! There it is! My digress in the prompt of the day….

Most of what has stuck in my noggin are thoughts pertinent to the motivation of student-athletes I have had the opportunity to coach for going on twenty five years. If by chance, any one else happened to read those thoughts I would share, they too would get to know about some of these wonderful authors. Lots of James Allen, Whitman, Emerson, Angelou, Einstein, King and others. Digging deeper, I found inspiration from the ancients like Aristotle, Seneca, Socrates, Aurelius and the like. Those of the cloth; Merton. Nouwen and Aquinas. Bringin’ up the rear, men like Dungy, Lombardi, Wooden and those that found their way into my life.

The change I alluded to is essentially focus related. Going from what can be made of oneself on the field, in the weightroom, during class and within the community to what is intended to be created from within. Not alone mind you. But in concert with THE best coach ever made.

For example, Coach Lombardi spoke of excellence in this fashion: “Gentlemen, we will chase perfection, and we will chase it relentlessly, knowing all the while we can never attain it. But along the way, we shall catch excellence.”

A mentor of mine, Coach Rauch, offered: “Adversity is not an ‘if’ but a ‘when’ event.” Another man who saw things in me I never recognized, Pastor Freyer, offered: What you are someday going to be, you are now becoming.”  And this one from James Allen: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so shall he be”

All very individual focused, on what each could aspire to in an effort to raise up all those about them. Ideal for football and life, in the perspective they offer as to the lasting impact of effort, knowing that opportunity lay in adversity, how intention can positively command direction and what you think creates the words and deeds towards becoming what you were intended to be.

By becoming the best that was in you, you brought out the best in others, being witness to your transformation. A non-transactional gift given to the one next to you. Partly out of being on a team and being a teammate. But moreso, out of love. Leaving it all out there for them. One doing so leaves its mark. But imagine five. Ten. Thirty some players willingly and selflessly serving another. Together. Talk about excellence. Talk about joy.

Those days built the foundation for this man.

And now, my desire is to fully be what it is I was intended to be. No one is here randomly. There is a reason for our existence. A purpose. And a mission designed specifically for each one of us. Perhaps the inklings of that was shared when I wore the pads and then when I traded them for a whistle. My teammates will always be a part of me, don’t get me wrong. It just appears as though my current team has shrunk to two. And it is no longer confined to a field.

During a conversation this past week, someone said; “I cannot. He can. I will let Him.”

That one has stuck with me. With it, I can maintain fatihful effort, receive the grace of opportunity that lay in all adversity, intentionally and positively follow His direction and listen for the words that lead to deeds so I can finally become what He intended me to be.

For this I have chased my entire life.

I know I will never attain perfection.

But I can catch His excellence.


Being present.

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Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
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I am typically an optimist. I have learned to look for and then find the opportunity that lay in all forms of adversity, negative feelings included. Both are never “if” but only “when” moments. Not that one necessarily embarks on a search for them. I think it just behooves us to see them as such and press on.

Speaking from years of experience, negative feelings can have a variety of sources. Maybe this is something for another day. I just know their origins come from within, part of your make. From without, somehow energized by interactions found in everyday life. Those from within may impact how you perceive the ones from without. And those without may behave similarly on those within.

So as with adversity, there is much ado about the sensory aspects of that moment as well as maintaining presence. By that I mean, staying right where you are. Present.

My negative feelings first became inextricably woven into the past. Always returning to the bent corner of the page in that part of my story so I could re-read, re-live, re-shame and re-torture myself for something I did or didn’t from long, long ago. Way too many volumes for this library.

Then, they may have a need to jump ahead in time, to something that hasn’t even happened. To a large extent, that flavor was ego stating I already knew what was going to happen, because you know, I was in control of everything. Funny that if you are convinced you run it, you somehow cannot make everything work out.

My self inflicted negativity, whether through creation or response, cannot survive the present. Absent tending and nurturing the garden variety sins of the past, or, fomenting angst, anxiety and defeat by scheduling ahead, these thoughts cannot survive, let alone grow and thrive.

Choosing to simply and only accept and learn from the past helps kill those roots so new grass can take hold. And deciding not live out over your skis, you will actually begin to appreciate what is right here with you. Being present, right here, right now, reduces, if not completely eradicates negative thoughts.

They are seen for what they truly are. Like the approaching storm, they too will pass.

I have determined that they have no business in my life. And that is just going to be the way it is.

The gift that keeps on giving.

Being present.

Just when.

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Daily writing prompt
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
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Perspective, to me, is largely vision. Maybe not so literally. But perhaps more so tangibly. How what you have experienced, embraced, engaged in, exchanged or exhumed have come to currently define your presence and being in this moment.

The combination of significant life events and time have the potential to create wonder, fulfillment and joy. On the flip side, they can also work in the opposite direction, producing woe, abandonment and despair. All of which are contingent on perspective. The tangible.

Of all the many tangible gifts of perspective granted to me through my ongoing experience in football, the two that stand apart involve adversity.

The first, spoken by a true mentor was this: “Adversity is never an if proposition, but only a when event”. The other, of more recent vintage, read was this, “event plus response equals outcome”

The theme central to each of these perspectives?

Opportunity as it conveyed through choice.

For in the former, when adversity occurs, you may exercise your free will to choose how you will respond. That decision will ultimately reveal the opportunity that lay in all adversity. Or, lead to fight or flight, being seen only as a threat. In the latter, the equation involving a tangible perspective is fully fleshed out. E+R=O. Applicable to virutally any and all interactions, whether trying or accommodating.

So, back to the prompt.

Lacking a true, tangible perspective regarding life events added to the passage of time has wreaked some havoc around these parts. Simply thinking things will get better, this too shall pass and parking it on the back burner have a tendency to place the onus elsewhere. Deflect responsibility. Even blame in the worst sense.

Choosing a path of avoidance over acceptance, gifting those calamities to other sources while delaying tangible engagement produces exactly the outcome you chose.

On the other hand, genuine acceptance, honest ownership and fully intentional association with all events, in real time, will effect not just change, but the outcome desired. Opportunities found in all manner of adversity. Positive, fulfilling and lasting outcomes conveyed through choice.

Assuming this tangible perspective creates in me a joyful anticipation of life events. And my soul’s desire and most ardent wish is that they will all fit within my ultimate passage of time. I no longer simply envision where it is I am going and what I am starting to become. I can actually feel to movement. The change. My outcome.

Finally.

No longer if.

Just when.

Did I miss something?

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Daily writing prompt
What do you complain about the most?
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My stoic nature being what it is, one would think by appearance alone, all I do is complain. Perhaps there is an element of truth to that revelation. Take it as you wish, I think this is how I complain.

First, no offense intended by using some of the following statements and inherent descriptions. They pretty much say it like it is about this guy and how I see things.

I am another version of OCD.

Obsessive/cleaning/coordinating/combining/correcting/clarifying/composing/confronting/considering/congratulating/disorder. Maybe I missed a few. Oh, completing. If I think of more, I will circle back. But I digress….

I like things to be in order. Not always mine. Just in order so that we have time to live. In establishing a pattern, things flow, they happen and there are little or no distractions created to take one off their game. So dishes get done, washer filled and unfilled, dirty clothes in laundry room waiting their turn, recyling routine, beds made. You know a sense of order. Not perfection, that ain’t possible. Just intention. So I can bore you all with this prompt today. Aren’t you glad.

So where the complaining comes in is pretty much internal. I live the flow around here, and when I see something that could go better or makes more sense based on how we live, then I just adjust accordingly. Don’t tell them to do it. Just do it myself and let things happen. No one comes home to discover the laundry room now in the living room to improve efficiency and recycling bins in the kitchen. (Yet) Just looking at the big picture and smoothing out rough edges.

Sort of how I coach too.

I understand the objectives, see the big picture and figure out ways to gain growth, improvement, achievement and excellence. Not in a complaining, hen pecking, diminishing and scolding manner. Rather, gaining trust, understand what it is I see in you, let me show you how to get there. Then, just play. Practice is for practice; coaching them up, fine tuning, instilling self discipline, repetition, trust. Games are games. Times to be encouraged, reminded to stick with the fundamentals, stay together and have fun.

Applies to my current vocation as well. Job development for those with diverse abilities is just like coaching football in my estimation. No pads to speak of, except maybe to protect one from beating themselves up. But hey, we all do that, don’t we? Work the fundamentals, practice, observe and let them play. Some of the interviews I have witnessed were way better than a come from behind game on the field.

So, from a strictly definition oriented standpoint, I really do not have anything to complain about.

Not a thing.

Could I be more patient, understanding and listen better? Heck yeah.

Could I smile more than twice a year? Yup.

Stop the internal fussing? Wait, who’s fussing?

Let things be? I will get back to you on that.

In the end, I get to be my OCD self, as currently described above. Live a life around those that get it. And still be loved.

No complaints whatsoever.

Whew.

Wait.

Did I miss something?