As I shared prior, this time of year brings with it an abundance of learning. The tenets of these forty days provide a way to sincerely approach the remaining three hundred and twenty five. True and absolute connection.
This for one such example:
Towards the beginning of his reading, “…the water flowed down from the right side of the temple, south of the altar.”
Concluding with this revelation, “…for they shall be watered by the flow from the sanctuary.”
Though it was not yet Good Friday and a Roman lance had yet to pierce and make the flow transpire, this offering from Ezekial five hundred some years prior, beautifully ascribes the origins of His life giving font of life.
Not simply a trickle. But rather, growing in all manner and form. Ever flowing from His body, becoming tributary providing for all the one true sanctuary of life.
It’s not about testing the waters. Or letting them take you away.
It’s about allowing His loving current draw you near.
I might consider taking a plane, train and automobile if I could pal around with Neal and Del along the way. Would definitely bring my own pillow.
After being on planes for business much of my professional life, doing that really wouldn’t float my boat. Then I would have to get pods and PJ’s and slippers. There is something appealing about trains, but it is like you are encased. You can see out, but not sure if they will let you roll the windows down. Same with a bus. Not on a track, but kinda like a train on wheels.
When I did have a choice for business travel, I would gravitate towards cars. Control of music and windows, take an exit to some place that looked intriguing, cold call around a desolate industrial park. Just kind of like a true adventure. Way more relaxed. With phones the way they are these days, you could talk to anyone anywhere as you made your way towards, I don’t know, Arcade, NY.
I do like the prospects of the bike however. Wonder if Google maps features a non-knucklehead route across the country. But then again, I don’t think I would want my phone on me. No music either. Just the sound of the wind, the warmth of the sun and the splat of the bugs on my face. Perhaps a puppy or two inspiring me to sprint from certain destruction on the pavement. That would truly be rejuvenating.
So to circumvent potential Road America drivers, maybe stick a rack on the car, take the bike to some wide open spaces, ride the day, then pack up and head off to the next adventure. For this old fart, that would be the way to go cross-country.
There have been many in my life. Names, times and instances are in escape mode as we speak. On occasion, I may have even fit some of the bill. Well, at least in my mind I did. Fiction.
But there is one that has shown a true sense of confidence for quite some time. Not simply in what goes on around me. But more so, just in me. So much so that second chances are pretty much permenant and ongoing.
I veered off this path for whatever reason some years back. If you are not present, you cannot appreciate where you are and what what you are becoming. Shiny things can appear and once they begin to catch on and command your attention, they multiply. Hiding honesty about a past and inhibiting the truth yet to be. My focus is much better. I am seeing things for what they are.
These past twenty seven days have been illuminating to say the least. Things are different. The written and spoken word have new meaning and depth. Cannot say I have the answers, but man do things make some semblance of sense. Finally. Just keep that clock ticking so I can experience more.
Please.
So, there was the story in John this week about His encounter with a man, blind since birth. I read many of the reflections shared about it and the significance and meaning of His gift. It found a home in my thoughts that have since grown to become some rare and perpetual insight for this old man.
We are all of the earth. And once it is our time, to that we shall return.
But in the interim, by no means is our vision meant to be held solely to those worldly matters. Dirt for lack of a better term. I cannot speak to the man who came into being on this earth blind. But it struck me that He made a hyrdating compress consisting of dirt and His holy water and applied it directly to his afflicted vision. He wished him to be held souly to what He saw in and for him.
Those that pranced about in their costumes and “Holy” garb monitored His actions closely. Taking account of his sabbath violations and untoward behavior. Actually tending to those that needed it most no matter the penalties that would be accrued towards and against Him. Strange how they too were blind to what was really happening. Pride, position, status and most of all – ego – blend themselves into a compress of blindness all their own. Distorting sight to an appreciation of only those things to be had here. Of this earth.
So the man of no known origins, once gifted his heavenly mud pack, was then sent to Siloam. To bathe and allow the waters to cleanse him. Baptismal in nature? A washing away of the sins of this world, emphatically covering his eyes, so that he could finally possess sight? Not just things of this world. But actually “see” what life can be here and now, using a loving mold of His making.
To bad those adorned in the dirt of this world refused to take heed of the same exact offering. Too offensive a suggestion to remove the attire of earthly desires so they too could actually see. Chances are, many if not all of them were too blind since birth. If I can be honest, that seems to have been my challenge as well. So caught up with ego and what is made only here that I was never able to see what is given so that I may last forever. Grace that will shepard us far beyond the dirt from whence we came.
He applied it to my eyes long ago. I just never consented to listening so that I would consent to wash it away. Didn’t think I needed to. Afterall, I was in charge. Plus, it would have violated my personal sabbath rules and regimen. My pharisee-ical nature would never have allowed that.
Consent isn’t so much the correct word. It means I have control. Talk about misnomers.
Acceptance is far more like it.
Since I let go, He removed the dirt. An ongoing baptism if you will.
I am typically an optimist. I have learned to look for and then find the opportunity that lay in all forms of adversity, negative feelings included. Both are never “if” but only “when” moments. Not that one necessarily embarks on a search for them. I think it just behooves us to see them as such and press on.
Speaking from years of experience, negative feelings can have a variety of sources. Maybe this is something for another day. I just know their origins come from within, part of your make. From without, somehow energized by interactions found in everyday life. Those from within may impact how you perceive the ones from without. And those without may behave similarly on those within.
So as with adversity, there is much ado about the sensory aspects of that moment as well as maintaining presence. By that I mean, staying right where you are. Present.
My negative feelings first became inextricably woven into the past. Always returning to the bent corner of the page in that part of my story so I could re-read, re-live, re-shame and re-torture myself for something I did or didn’t from long, long ago. Way too many volumes for this library.
Then, they may have a need to jump ahead in time, to something that hasn’t even happened. To a large extent, that flavor was ego stating I already knew what was going to happen, because you know, I was in control of everything. Funny that if you are convinced you run it, you somehow cannot make everything work out.
My self inflicted negativity, whether through creation or response, cannot survive the present. Absent tending and nurturing the garden variety sins of the past, or, fomenting angst, anxiety and defeat by scheduling ahead, these thoughts cannot survive, let alone grow and thrive.
Choosing to simply and only accept and learn from the past helps kill those roots so new grass can take hold. And deciding not live out over your skis, you will actually begin to appreciate what is right here with you. Being present, right here, right now, reduces, if not completely eradicates negative thoughts.
They are seen for what they truly are. Like the approaching storm, they too will pass.
I have determined that they have no business in my life. And that is just going to be the way it is.
...my temporary assignment. 