It’s just about being.

Daily writing prompt
Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

To be honest, there are two long lingering items residing on that list. Not an actual list per se. But on that Post It note stuck between my ears, in what is left in that old noggin.

Self-forgiveness is something that has not ever really been addressed. One of those things I guess you don’t feel you have earned for some reason. Don’t deserve. Or just not necessary. But over the course of a lifetime, that hyphenated necessity can take on quite the mass. Slooping the shoulders and neck. Wreaking havoc on perception. Leading to bad choices and even badder habits.

We all fuck up. That is just a given. And in the grand scheme of things, somehow its sibling given has to be not only contrition, but what needs to come after. Self-forgiveness. My sense is that when you are finally able to crack open the armor, grace finds its way into that mess beneath, bringing with it peace, healing and most of all, forgiveness. Upon sensing that, you may do a double take.

“Was that for me?”

Yes, it is. And as such, you too can start to forgive yourself. With that, the mass begins to shrink. Shoulders and neck return to the proper posture. There is a greater clarity in things, accompanied by a true vision. Choices are now made to live. Habits now bring joy.

Which brings me to the other resident on that Post It; taking care of myself.

Simple things. Develop a relationship with health care professionals. Leave social media and news to the masses. Get back to the gym. (Still figuring out how to fit it into the schedule.) Read. Find and follow that true vocation. Be present. Love. Let go, and let God.

I know. You all knew where this was going. But I just wanted to share it. I am leaving that Post It right where it is. Not as a mode of being pecked by a hen. But just as a healthy reminder. That I am forgiven, so I should then do so for myself. And just take care. There are sunrises to see, so many flowers and ‘maters to be grown, books to be opened, masses to attend, health to be improved, kids and others to coach and prompts to be written.

It really isn’t about being on a list.

It’s just about being.

Yum!

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite thing to cook?

Cannot say I have one.

Chicken on the grill, especially some thighs and wings with “Wisdom” seasoning is a great make and eat. Salmon too. Its all so good. And despite the climes we are in, we can fire up the Weber pretty much year round. Might need the long undies on, but well worth it. And everything you wear out there smells like it !

A scrambler for breakfast is fun to make and really food eatin’ too. Aside from the eggs, whatever veggies and cheesies we have in the fridge get chopped up and added to the mix. Not so much cows or pigs for us. You get some broccoli, ‘shrooms, scallions, peppers, cauliflower, you name it. As long as they aren’t runny we are always good to go. Stays with you the whole day.

Then there are my cookies.

Gonna make a few batches for some of my close friends that are hosting a Superbowl watch party. Those will all be made Sunday morning. Then, while I am at it, a couple more batches for my best friends’ students. They earned it. And then even more for the Hawks this coming Tuesday. Once the process is in place for those bad boys, they just roll out and stack up.

Your clothes even start to smell like chocolate chip cookies. Now that I think of it, those scramblers do it too, just like birds on the grill.

What a great coincidence.

Not only do you get to make them.

You get to eat them.

And, wear ’em.

Yum!

Thank you Mr. Lucado.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then when this day is done I will place my head on my pillow and rest.”
― Max Lucado

Some very compelling wisdom from Mr. Lucado.

Again.

I just finished a book of his, “Jesus: The God Who Knows Your Name”. Some very compelling stories and wisdom shared in ways never imagined. A stunning perspective that brings clarity to so much. Sorely needed. Genuinely held. Never to be forgotten.

Thank you Mr. Lucado.

Cannot wait for that.

Another great day for the Hawks.

Sometimes, the seedings at these weekend tourneys can be a crap shoot. Literally. So you just have to go with the flow, play the best you can and learn from the experience. Nothing is ever wasted. It all becomes part of who you are.

First game was like that and we were only down 16-11 at half. Things got away from us, but now we have played a team that presses all over. It is more about keeping calm and sticking to your fundamentals at that point.

Second game was more like what we hope for every time we play. Back and forth, some fouls and free throws, solid defensive plays, steals, fast breaks and passing. Notched the win in that contest, and the refs told all it was a great game.

Smiles were abundant.

Still are.

We have about a month of practice before we start the state tournament, with the regional right here at Homestead.

Even more smiles to be had.

Ever more abundant.

Cannot wait for that.

Finally.

Daily writing prompt
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

I see this question two ways.

Imagine that.

What are you scared to do? And, what are you scared of doing? What is it that you fear to attempt versus what is it that you have done but are fearful of doing again. Seperate avenues of life to share and elucidate.

To be honest, haven’t really given the former much thought. I might be willing to sky dive, but never really held much interest. Since I really do not have a bucket list, there isn’t a spot to put that one on pause. Don’t have the cranial makeup to scale sky scrapers like Alex did a week or so ago in Taiwan.

Swimming in the ocean is amazing. Jumping off a schooner and snorkeling in the middle of an ocean off the Virgin Islands. Taking a sailboard out in the same waters without a clue was a total blast. Cold calling businesses and turning them into associates and customers is fun to this day. Interviews are fun. Giving and receiving. Speaking to crowds? Fulfilling and missed. Jumping off a third floor fire escape into snow during winter break just because? Well, just because we were stupid. “Skitching” over the snow covered streets in Hinsdale as a teen. Deciding to play college football, and then playing every game for four years.

There are others. But I guess when it comes to being scared to or having a fear to, I think the fear of failure holds the cards. A certain level of embarrassment too. What if I blow it? Get lost? Laughed at? Contusions and abrasions? Fractures? They say “no”? Die? Having never done something before, trying and then having it turn out one way or another is one experience. You get to move on.

But then again, being scared of or having a fear of doing contains many of the same risk factors, but from an entirely different depth and direction. The potential damage to one and others extends far beyond band-aid boo boo’s or a walking boot.

I am scared of and have a fear of letting others down. Again.

Of making bad choices. Of acting out of character. Of behaving like I have all of the answers, that I am the Grand High Exalted Mystic Poobah, and that I know what is best for all everytime and all of the time. Of resentment.

Of not understanding my true worth. Of not staying present. Of withdrawing and building a protective fortress along a steep escarpment.

Of allowing others to determine my value, assess my potential and define my capabilities.

Of not ever realizing who I was.

The therapeutic side of the daily prompt is evident this exact moment.

By discerning what I am scared to as it relates to what I am scared of, an epiphany has enjoined my spirit this weekend.

Those things that one is scared of are those that one is scared to discard, move on from and grow in an entirely different manner and direction. Perhaps being possessed by them for so long offers a twisted, unhealthy and known sense of comfort and security. A bizarre sense of peace brought forth in allowing oneself to be held captive by them. Being scared to finally understand and move on was allowed to be overwhelmed by being scared of allowing that change.

To finally grow. To finally understand. To finally forgive. To finally connect. To finally live.

To finally be.

Finally.

Nothing to be scared of.

Whatsoever.

Finally.