“The wise men came to Bethlehem and gave the child their precious gifts. When you come to Christ, break open the very best of yourself and make it a gift for him.

Finally, they returned to their home country by another route. As Fulton Sheen commented so magnificently: “Of course they did; for no one comes to Christ and goes back the same way he came!”

Bishop Barron – Daily Gospel Reflections, Sunday, January 7, 2024.

Some time ago, I got lost on my way towards Bethlehem.  Not that I am or ever will be a wiseman.  Just that I too saw the guiding warmth in that star.  I wanted nothing more than to be there for and with Him.  Unfortunately, I got lost.  I chose selfish defiance instead of selfless reliance. Since then, I have been working to find my way back ever since. 

Sad to say, when I can finally return in full, I will not be able to break open the very best of myself as my gift to Him. 

I will only be able to share my utter brokenness.   

He deserves better.  But for now, that is all I have.  

But I know now that He understands the nature of my gift and is ok with that. He simply wishes for a relationship.  Friendship.  A bond. Love.

He knows for a fact that anyone that comes to Him is most likely broken in some fashion.  In need of reassurance. Repair.  Redemption. And resurrection.  He knows that anyone that comes to Him does not go back the same way.  His loving touch changes everything.

His gift to me.

That is exactly what I am counting on. 

That is what I desperately need.

That is what I know for a fact will ultimately come to save me.

My journey may have taken me towards Him from one direction.

But I am counting on not going back the same way.

For He knows which way to send me.

Gifted.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. “

James 1:2-8

As we leave the old, the comfortable, the familiar and make our way into the new, disquieting and unseen that lay ahead, all of us will be tested in some fashion or another.  

We can decide to respond with fear, an attitude of avoidance  or ignore  these challenges altogether.  But then again,  we can choose to embrace them for what they truly are.  

Lessons. 

These  will come in all shapes imaginable, endless varieties of configurations, woven into  layers.  And over time, by actively embracing faith,  its sibling perseverance will come to fruition  and their meanings will become evident.  

It is not to say that these meanings are necessarily only an end result.  That  “ah ha !” moment.  Could very well be that they make themselves known in various forms.  

Perhaps as  the time it took to discern.  Maybe as a temporary setback.  Or set aside so that another more urgent lesson could be attended to.  

It could have been experienced as  changes that occurred within our being as we embraced these lessons.  How we came to grow and evolve into something we were intended to be.   

Deeper lessons still. 

All of which depend on our ability to  believe in what could not yet be seen.  

Faith.  

Resolutely sticking to it, with unfettered resolve, while letting go at the same time.  

Perseverance. 

All because we believe in what we have not yet seen.

Faith  and perseverance exist in a perfect union. The active act of patience – waiting for what you know to be true  – so that you can nourish the  persistence that enables you to make the journey .  Leading us to discover the life we intend to live.  

All so that you may be mature, complete and not lacking anything. 

And realize the product of your endeavor. 

Pure joy.

At Sunday’s mass, the first and second reading, and then homily all espoused one uplifting theme of incredible resonance.  Something to the effect that “we surrender the past and embrace an exodus towards a new life and re-creation”. That by surrendering the material aspects of living as we do and moving towards a more spiritual foundation and existence, a lasting and truly meaningful fulfilment could be attained. 

Life re-created.

Now material aspects as understood might be taken solely as wealth, position, prestige and other such “things” that we come to crave, desire, possess and accumulate.  And yet, upon  reflection of the central tenet offered yesterday  morning, one could expand that definition of the “material” in our lives to include the wrongs we have endured as well as those we have chosen to commit and inflict on others. 

Sin. 

In time, those too will become weighted and onerous objects. Generating a mass  of discomfort, disillusionment and despair.  Material that becomes stowed away in the mind and body.  

Burdening the soul.  

The act of surrendering them will take time for they are things we have become accustomed to bearing and carrying with us.  “Just part of life” we tell ourselves. “Something” we need to carry.  After all, they did what they did to me.  And I most certainly did what I did to them. Material that can overtake our being.  

“A going out” or “departure” literally defines exodus.  

Perhaps from this perspective, the outcome of surrender might be a going out of your current self to become what you were meant to be. What He sees you to be.  Making a departure from disillusionment and despair cleans the slate, offering fertile grounds to grow  a new life.   

An existence with a more spiritual basis.   

Surrender so that you may re-created. 

By Him.

“Friends, in today’s Gospel, Jesus lays down the conditions of discipleship.”

Whoa. 

That was a gut punch. 

Again, far be it from me to preach to any or all of you. I am in the process of working my way back through the mess I made of things.  But this stands out in numerous ways, all amenable to a Linkedin life.  But I digress…

Essentially, deny yourself. Make it about those all around you.  From the bottom to the top.  They are to be your priority going forward, at all times and all the time.

A  tough row to hoe if you are on social media.  Caught up in the rigamarole of office politics.  Seniority.  Parking spots. And the like. 

Essentially, plain and simple, set yourself aside.  Make it about the other.  Not you.   Make it about the other. 

Then, go one or many more steps forward and “lose your life” for those all around you.   Make it totally about them.  What they need.  Focus on their growth.  What they can achieve.  How they can be promoted.  Ultimately, their success.  

Cause when this happens, you have built a team that will carry on what you have taught, embraced and loved as only you could. 

Speaking as a coach, I am not on the field.  They are.  So they need to be placed in a position where they can  make every moment count.  

For them.  

Not me. 

It will take some discernment, acceptance and faith, but trust that what becomes of denying yourself will make you what and who you were meant to be.  

A disciple so to speak. 

One who puts themselves there for the other.  Because ultimately, it will come to round you out and bring you where you have always wanted to be. 

There for them.  

“For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the Gospel will save it.”

“What we have to be is what we are.”

― Thomas Merton

I do my best to read the daily gospel reflections from Bishop Barron.  As I continue my work to regain the conviction to return I am finding each day’s offering extends far beyond the scope of its intentions.  At least that is how I read and feel them.  

Parallels abound, things click in all manners and his words convey images, ideas and interests faar beyond the message of the moment.  Thank you for shaking things up and making me think, Bishop.  

So today, He says “who do you say that I am?”. A point blank address to those around Him to confess the known but unsaid truth.  To put what was known into words.  So that all were not just aligned, but all understood and all confirmed the veracity of what things were.  Sorry, kind of selling that historic moment short.  

Now in no way am I contending that I deserve that level of consideration from anyone let alone twelve.  But when I read this, I actually wondered what those that “know” me say that I am.  For it is certain that I struggle saying who I am.  And I am confident that those around me see something that is for lack of a better term, exists in total obscurity to me.  

Now He asked because he knew, and wanted them to come to see and share in that knowledge.  I ask because I am not so keen on what it is that I am, and seek to understand what is obvious to those but me.  

While He was made to be Him, I was made to be me.  You were made to be you. It can be challenging when there is alot of gray and we just are not certain who we say we are as was He. Perhaps there is something else to be gained from today’s gospel.  

Relinquish the resistance towards something bigger than yourself.  Like trust in how you were made.  What you are intended to do. 

So that you can be what you are.  

Who He says I am.