Tag Archives: life

Being present.

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Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
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I am typically an optimist. I have learned to look for and then find the opportunity that lay in all forms of adversity, negative feelings included. Both are never “if” but only “when” moments. Not that one necessarily embarks on a search for them. I think it just behooves us to see them as such and press on.

Speaking from years of experience, negative feelings can have a variety of sources. Maybe this is something for another day. I just know their origins come from within, part of your make. From without, somehow energized by interactions found in everyday life. Those from within may impact how you perceive the ones from without. And those without may behave similarly on those within.

So as with adversity, there is much ado about the sensory aspects of that moment as well as maintaining presence. By that I mean, staying right where you are. Present.

My negative feelings first became inextricably woven into the past. Always returning to the bent corner of the page in that part of my story so I could re-read, re-live, re-shame and re-torture myself for something I did or didn’t from long, long ago. Way too many volumes for this library.

Then, they may have a need to jump ahead in time, to something that hasn’t even happened. To a large extent, that flavor was ego stating I already knew what was going to happen, because you know, I was in control of everything. Funny that if you are convinced you run it, you somehow cannot make everything work out.

My self inflicted negativity, whether through creation or response, cannot survive the present. Absent tending and nurturing the garden variety sins of the past, or, fomenting angst, anxiety and defeat by scheduling ahead, these thoughts cannot survive, let alone grow and thrive.

Choosing to simply and only accept and learn from the past helps kill those roots so new grass can take hold. And deciding not live out over your skis, you will actually begin to appreciate what is right here with you. Being present, right here, right now, reduces, if not completely eradicates negative thoughts.

They are seen for what they truly are. Like the approaching storm, they too will pass.

I have determined that they have no business in my life. And that is just going to be the way it is.

The gift that keeps on giving.

Being present.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

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Daily writing prompt
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
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Oh my.

From a cinema perspective, I have seen the original Star Wars trilogy – Episode IV: A New Hope (1977), Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980), and Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983) – starting first in the theatres first and then on to watching at home in various ways, more than a dozen times.

I saw the first three Lord of the Rings – The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King – when they opened in the theatres, and at least a half dozen times on the home screen now. Sort of jumped in when Titanic appeared, and have been watching that one when it surfaces during an evening of dead sea scrolling. Deadpool is up there, The Dark Knight, and the like are in the five plus crowd.

But by far, the most watched movie for me, spanning decades is:

I always find something different in it. The scene where Harry exalts his brother: “A toast to my big brother George: The richest man in town” still brings tears. Just did now. I will watch that one all the way to the end. Literally and figuratively.

TV shows?

That gets a little more complex.

Growing up in the suburbs, Sunday nights on the local WTTW station meant joining the circus.

Being that it was on Sundays meant me and my brother would watch it religiously. That is simply a pun. God, you know me.

Later in life, it became AFV, replacing the Pythons, every Sunday evening.

The ones where people get the crap scared out of them are the best. Kids in the flour bags and make up drawer a close second.

But this is where it gets tricky.

I have always loved the original Tom and Jerry cartoons. Tex Avery and Looney Toons close second and third. But then newer iterations get mixed in, like Shemps and Joes. But I could watch Tom, Jerry and Butch whack each other all day.

But by George, the longest running favorite of mine ever, though they are technically shorts, are by far, Moe, Larrry and Curly.

I have been watching them since my preteens and still watch them every week in my mid sixties.

We used to go to midnight Stooges festivals at the local theatre during highschool. And they have found a place on Me TV, from 5:00 to 7:00 PM each Saturday night. Leading into Svengoolie, another one I used to enjoy on WFLD back on the day.

In short, it’s a wonderful life when you can spread out and pick two.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

That is where you truly find life.

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Daily writing prompt
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?
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I am going to step back on this one and do a deep dive on failure.

There! I finally used that sterling expression I heard multiple times at “meetings” in the business world. Wait. Just thought of an even better one. Almost pornographic in construction. “Pull back the kimono.” Now there is a gem. There, I think I met my KPI’s for the day. But once again, sorry folks, I digress….

In my estimation, failure is less an event than it is a mindset. There is some veracity to other more cliche’ utterances, like “doomed to fail”, “repeating history” and the one closest to my personality and experience, “setting himself up for failure.” All are mental and attitudinal precursors to hitting bottom.

When you go about things perched on a pedastal of your own construction, things are not likely to flow well. They may appear as together and synchronous from the outside, about a layer or two down, but when you get down at the core, things are an absolute mess.

Ego is the culprit. From whatever cause, for whatever reason, by any means necessary, ego can sink the ship. Does the name Titanic ring a bell?

It might be a need to be right. Always. To have all of the answers. Always. Control every situation and outcome. Always. Sit in judgement of others. Always.

Be God.

It could also be the salve for damages incurred at the hands of others.

The ever deep bruises of shame. The emptiness wrought by no esteem. Allowing others to assess your worth and value. Not having a clue as to who you are or how others see you.

Those just provided right there pretty much sums up the triggers leading to my foray in to ego. A way of being that created my environment fertile for failure. Decades in the making. And unbreaking.

Failures of my own making.

First, they started off as the small, just brush them off varieties, promoting dishonesty.

Giving growth to “….well, I will just be more careful next time”. Another layer or three of self deception and duplicity.

Finally, leaving port and moving onto a succession of personal Titanics.

“Iceberg?”

Let me tell you, treading water for a couple of years inspired me to accept the preserver of humility, truth and faith. Lasting and finally honest life lessons. Now that I found dry land, I am happy to say I am working my way into more of the AP curriculum these days.

How one could ever promote a deeper dive by pulling back the kimono is lost on me.

But sinking to the bottom?

That is where you truly find life.

To that, I will not object.

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Daily writing prompt
What are three objects you couldn’t live without?
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Well, on the material side of things, coffee? Maybe having blue tooth so I can listen to my radio station from when I was growing up. Kind of tough to answer that one. I could go to tea, or water if needed. Have before. Sometimes a local radio station will suffice. That is still only two. Not sure.

But that is one definition of object. A material thing that can be seen and touched. Huh. Maybe that disqualifies the blue tooth. Unless the holding the phone and pushing the site on the screen counts. But blue tooth really cannot be seen or touched. So perhaps that statement needs to be amended to “having a phone with blue tooth so I can listen to my radio station from when I was growing up.” There. Is my OCD an object? But I digress….

The other is ” a person or thing to which a specified action or feeling is directed.” If you look at it in this fashion, three things immediately come to mind.

Trust.

Intention.

Faith.

Trust can generate some very specific actions and feelings. What you come to allow in others as well as in yourself. It has been my experience of late that I find it way easier to do so with othose around me than it has ever been with myself. That is changing. Still some things yet to prove on my end. It is an object I cannot live without.

Add to that, intention. Something deeper than “want to”, commitment or goal. Intention reflects a direct investment of self into another object that has no guaranteed outcome. Just that in many ways and means needs to be employed and embraced. Not as a thing to be touched or seen. But a depth of giving of onself that is sensed, felt and fully woven into one’s being.

The intention may be to have a positive impact on another. And then again, it may be to have one on yourself. No guarantees. Just a way of being that goes beyond once incorporated, spreading inward and outwards.

Lastly, faith.

Not really lastly. Really firstly. Because it is only through faith that you are able to actively engage in patience with perseverance. There is a knowing component that provides the salve for the waiting. The continuous deployment of trust in the direction and intentional thoughts, words and deeds through the acts of perseverance.

Objects are of little importance to me.

Objects to which a trusted, intentional action, guided by faith is directed, are.

To that, I will not object.

Fate chose my destiny.

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Daily writing prompt
Do you believe in fate/destiny?
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I do not believe in them per se.

So much of life just comes down to the choices we make.

Free will if you like.

How you choose to exercise that gift tends to produce those overtly or covertly calculated results. Things which are done with intention, whether honestly acknowledged and accepted or dishonestly ignored and hidden, tend to yield precisely what was fated to be. It might be things that lead you to an outcome that may have been expected. On the other hand, it might be a response to an outcome that takes things down an altogether different path.

Like I said yesterday at the onset of my prior post, I am speaking of me. This comes out of my dented noggin from the singular “I” perspective. And when “you” gets added into my word salad, that is meant to be from the Mark perspective. Not you. I have no desire to return to that pulpit. Over stayed my welcome and singlehandedly created more alienation in my life than O’Bannon and Shusett combined. I chose my fate in many areas of life.

“Uncle”.

There, that is some of the fate of my design in a nutshell.

Then, there is destiny.

Not gonna call it fate’s sibling. More so a very distant cousin. Part of the family, but going back to quite some time ago. Unlike fate, which can largely be your design, destiny is something born of another one. By design, meant to bring good, purpose, fulfillment, joy, connection, love, and life. Among other things.

I think in the former, I created the design, created the plan and pretty much brought things down around me. Choices I made determined my fate. And if I made similar choices on how to respond to those circumstances, the self-destruction escalated.

But because the latter – destiny – is provided by a much older and wiser pillar of the family, it will encourage a more patient, foundational and divine journey to what you were meant to be. That is, if you can listen, accept and trust in it.

Yet in both instances, that one wrench remains as the constant. Dating all the way back to that garden.

Free will.

I cannot say it is mine, but dispatching the tendency to call it how I saw it and wanted it sure as heck changed the tenor of my life. Perhaps it was my fate to finally acknowledge that I did not know it all and needed someone else to show me the best way possible. It was destiny that called me to just let go.

Fate chose my destiny.