Tag Archives: life

And just did the math,

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Daily writing prompt
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
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Upon some early morning discernment, I would have to amend this proposition slightly. Bet you never would have guessed that. Uncharted territory for this stoic. You can insert the “but I digress” comment throughout this share as you wish. You’re gonna need it.

In actuality, the one positive outcome in my life has been the sum of the intention to make several changes. I am no math whiz, but an aggregate of this scope doesn’t just appear of its own volition. The equation is far more complicated than that.

Outward appreances may suggest some well defined substractions in thought, word and deed would produce the desired result. But if something is excised and removed, what is intended to be added to fill that vacuum? If that space is allowed to remain empty, just about anything can come along and fill it up. Or worse yet, start to crowd, overtake and suffocate those that bring with them a positive, affirming and fulfilling presence and power.

What then may occur is that “anything” can begin to multiply. Serving to divide one not just from others, but ultimately, from oneself. Faster than you can say “Bob’s your uncle”, it can appear from all angles, consuming more area, turning what was once a positive, into an all encompassing negative. The arithmetic of despair, failure and isolation.

That being said, I needed to go about this with a mindset of arraying a singular, solid and linearly compatible path forward. Simple geometry. As much as possible, going from point A to point B. Rest areas may be encountered. But I choose to remain on this tangent, having been beaten by my prior paths.

First and foremost, by adding faith back into the equation of my life, I no longer feel the urgency to control and command. At one point, I literally felt chased away from it, But now, t listen and heed the call to reengage and return to the fold. No longer do I carry a sense of abandonment and isolation. They were subtracted from my life.

This awakening led to recognizing and confronting my compulsion to overfunction, its origins still not fully known or understood. But now, I can now let go, bringing with it a sense of peace and serenity. Just being fully present creates an atmosphere for the amazing to be recognized and take place. Acceptance of the prior and its brutal lessons provided, enjoined with that of what will be, lets me feel free to be. No more acting like the divine. Just allowing and embracing it.

Subtracted my tendency to engage with others – personnally and professionally – that felt it their place to determine my value and worth. But more importantly, recognized the frequency and dependency of allowing that trait to rule my world. I determine that product, and have come to realize that multiplying my esteem in a healthy fashion keeps the sum a positive.

Lastly, being controlled by the urge to speak your mind at all times, as diseased and dysfunctional as it was, only serves to divide, and never ever conquer. Listening is all inclusive and powerful for all parties. Joining one to all, in all and for all. A lost art that I now treasure like no other.

Faith, letting it be, genuine self-affirmation and using both ears to become connected to all hearts and souls, turned out to be the precious integers I needed to create one positive change.

To live.

It took several classes.

But the lessons stuck.

And just did the math,

Workin’ my horticulture stations.

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What’s the most fun way to exercise?
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Back in the day, when all limbs were fully functioning, a run or a ride were my go to’s.

Between my freshman and sophomore year in highschool, I sprouted like six or seven inches, and thinned out. I started to run, since I could finally do it without taking on a rolling appearance.

Brought a great sense of peace and connection. The town I lived in was sidewalked everywhere, so one could just lace ’em up and go. Early evening was great. I was almost going to stick with it, and try the cross country route at Central. But I listened to the football spirits instead, and now walking is about as fast and far as I can go.

When I got my first “corporate” job as a “manager trainee”, they had a locker room and shower on site. So I would hang a weeks worth of work clothes there and take the long way in and home on the ten speed. (…back then, that was as high as the cycle world could go. we must have had the same math issues…) I could go through forest preserves, some quasi-rural routes and get in twenty or so miles on the way in and a little more on the way out. Every day started pretty much stress free that way. I miss it.

Running has been shelved for sometime now. I have leaned into treadmill work at PF, with about a ten degree incline, and a rate that gets me a mile in about twenty. That is all well and good. But just not the same. The knee refuses to go all the way around, so I may have to rethink doing that again.

But the one escape I found to be great exercise is attending to the yard.

I may need to go to push mower front only and succumb to riding for the back. But raking is a tremendous core work out. I taught myself how to rake both right and left handed. That way no one side gets overstressed.

Weeding helps the core, on the knees or all fours. It offers mental benefits heretofore unknown. I think the term that best describes its merits is instantaneous gratification. You can relish in the work you just performed. Raking falls into that category as well.

Planting bulbs last fall was also a good core exercise. I don’t know if it is the soil in these parts, my lack of finesse with a bulb shovel or both. But I went through three of them in about a month. They found their resting spot in a recycling center. And the fruit of their sacrifice is being seen here and there around the house.

I am still getting in some time at PF. My weighted vest makes for a more invigorating walk. Almost seems redundant, adding weight to a frame already past the limit. And getting into the yard.

Me and my flowers!

Workin’ my horticulture stations.

It takes the crown.

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Daily writing prompt
What book could you read over and over again?
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Intriguing.

The one that takes the crown?

Probably the winner by a longshot when my four kiddies were growing up. Some others may have dipped into double digits. Suess, Silverstein, Milne. But this one by far the fav.

I liked Michael Crichton. Jurassic Park – the book – was way better than the movie. Some of his others were fun reads – Prey and Congo were good too.

Version 1.0.0

Multiple reads all. Now Weir’s “Project Hail Mary” is on the night stand. Loving that one.

Henri Nouwen, “The Return of the Prodigal Son” and his team effort “Compassion” with Douglas Morrison and Donald McNeill are gonna be do overs many, many times.

There is another one, to be named later, that correlates well with some of my light reading via the Bible. Light because it is making things about my life shine for once.

Reading that used to be a word salad to me for some reason. But now the two read in tandem seem to act as code talkers, to decipher things for this Stoic. The connection between the Old and the New is fascinating, as is delving into the origins of the words, why those particular ones were used in that moment and why we need to consider using those definitions now. It all makes sense.

And in following the story line, you get to know that path, and in time, you can travel it with your eyes closed. You won’t want to because it is a thing of sincere beauty. You will want to see everything a long the way. But it is a truly collaborative effort that transcends time itself.

Starting from before then, to right now, then onto wherever we are taken.

Move over Mr. Arnold.

This is the greatest story ever written.

It takes the crown.

For free.

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Daily writing prompt
What job would you do for free?
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To answer, I would first have to address some verbiage and perspectives I hold that are consistent with this query. This stoic makes everything a job. Bet you didn’t see that coming.

I cannot say for certain that my mind goes to “job” when it comes to work or employment. Maybe it’s the connotation that steers me in another direction. A ‘”job” is what you have to do. Something more severe than an assignment. The harsh side of obligation. Being spent in an arduous, boring transaction that only renders cash.

“….a regular, contracted activity or piece of work performed in exchange for payment, serving as an individual’s role, task, or position of employment. It is the specific, often repetitive, set of responsibilities and duties an person holds, distinct from a broader career or profession.”

I don’t look at things that way. Like “I have to go to work”, or “I have to find another job”, You get to do a lot of things in life, and this is just another part of living it. I have been fortunate to have remained engaged in employment my entire life. In some situations, those around me asserted I was not making enough, was worth more, and was working for free.

The self worth aspects of that are being addressed as we speak.

But when the work engaged me in areas other than my wallet, I think I thrived in that environment. It was never a job at that point. It was fulfilling, affirming and necessary. So in that regard, I probably did work for free, or some modicum of charity.

Cannot recall the year, but I used to push my parents lawnmower and gas can around the neighborhood and cut lawns. Learned how to paint houses. Then pumped gas, learned how to check oil, then change oil and fill tires. Unloaded trucks and loaded butcher tables at a meat processing business.

Cleaned hospitals.

Learned to drive stick in a 10 ton dump truck to pick up gravel and ashphalt to patch streets and curbs in my hometown.

Sold appliances. Then into the business world of manufacturing and distribution. Now job development and coaching for those with diverse abilities. Looking into some other areas for engagement and enrichment. Hospice care? Maybe more writing. Who knows.

Everyone of these “jobs” had elements of charity in them. Where I did things off the clock. For free. It is just how I have always rolled. Now? I am never really off the clock. But as long as I can give something back, that is compensation enough. It may not swell the check book. But sure does so for the heart and soul.

So very, very long story short, in my stoic noggin, I have really never had a job. I just like to give my time, talents and treasures in a variety of manners, wherever, to just live my life. No rhyme or reason really. Sort of off the cuff. Never went to college to be anything other than an athlete. The degree just came along with the arthritis.

Has always been make it up as I go.

Things may have been tense and rocky at times. But it all worked out. And will continue to do so. That brings with it a great sense of freedom and serenity. If there happens to be a paycheck involved, then so be it.

But until then, I will keep working as I always have.

For free.

Now that is needed.

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Daily writing prompt
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?
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Over the years, a way sort of presented itself to me.

So I just went with it.

Of late, after I am sure I am breathing, I then have to ensure limbs function. Shuffle off to Buffalo, start coffee, concoct a liquid IV for my best friend and gather her backpack and thermos together. I like to pack her car early so she can just focus on getting ready for a day of teaching. That is plenty to think about.

If it is garbage day, they get rolled out. Make the bed. Make sure sink is empty. Then if I need to start fast, off to communion service by seven. If there is room, then off to morning mass a quarter after eight. In between, if time allows, then daily prompt. If not, then onto the day.

I once read that if at minimum you make your bed, then despite how the rest of the day pans out, you have accomplished one thing.

Bet you never guessed I make hospital corners.

So many things I attend to take time and investment to blossom. Sort of the path I have chosen to travel. So I will gladly accept healthy modes of instant gratification whenever possible. Like weeding. In thirty minutes, you can change the appearance of a flower bed. In three minutes, the appearance of your bedroom. In one, the kitchen.

Nothing nit picky about these whatsoever. The tone is set, the momentum gathers and you can ride that wave for the rest of the day. Same with ending it. Closing ceremony routine there. Maybe that is the next prompt?

Maybe it has been termed “routine” because it is something needed. But it doesn’t feel as such.

It’s just life.

And its simple joys.

Now that is needed.