” My grandfather told me…”to accomplish anything worthwhile, you must pay the price.” My dad taught me that nothing in life would come easy. That I would have to work for those things that I wanted. But work cannot be narrowly defined in only a physical sense. Work is also a mental, emotional and spiritual endeavor as well.
As I grew up, I also came to learn and appreciate that achievement, excellence and success is not a matter of destiny, fate, timing or being in the right place at the right time. For that would mean that we live by chance rather than being guided by intention. To live solely by chance would negate the value and virtue of our effort and commitment. Our perseverance and sacrifice. And ultimately, our purpose.
I learned that in order to “be” or “become” – you needed to intend to “be” or “become”. To be purposeful in your thoughts, words and deeds. I found that to live with intention – and intentionally – is to be guided by purpose.
There will always be a price to pay if you live with intention. If you are purposeful in all that you do. You will have to “give up” to “go up”. You will need to leave some of who and what you “are” behind in order to get to where you want to go. To become what and who you want to be requires sacrifice. And this isn’t easy.
I can assure you that the suffering you encounter along the way – whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual in nature – will be temporary. You are simply giving up comfort, familiarity and the certain in order to press ahead, grow and become what you were intended to be.
You are “trading up”. And after all, wasn’t that your intention? ”
In order to acquire self mastery, you first need to employ self-discipline.
Once on the path to self mastery, your opportunities will multiply. You will be working from a foundation built for achievement, the pursuit of excellence and eventually – success.
Yet mastery of self is entirely and exclusively reliant on your attitude.
A positive attitude will provide you with safe passage. It prevents you from treading down an ever slippery slope of largely self induced emotional blackmail. It guards you from living down to low expectations. Protects you from acquiescing to the laws of just being average. Settling for whatever happens to come your way.
If you neglect to master your attitude first – you run the risk of limiting or losing the potential that exists in you; in that moment and in the future.
A lack of vigilance when it comes to your attitude can turn you against yourself.
Pitting opportunity against expediency.
You can become your own worst enemy. Choosing the easy way out.
A route that has led many to react rather than respond.
A decision to let emotion and pride rule the day. A poor attitude can and will run roughshod over your talents and aspirations before you even know it.
Especially when it comes to responding to even the smallest bit of adversity.
It can happen in an instant, perhaps in a sequence that goes something like this:
“Crap.
Why me?
Why can’t anything ever be easy, or work the way I want it to?
Why does this always happen to me?
When am I going to catch a break.
I cannot do this any more.
I wish I was somewhere else.
Why can’t this day be over?“
You see what can happen in the span of about 60 seconds?
You can react and send yourself plummeting off the deep end to drown in self pity, defeatism and despair. Yet if you can find it in yourself to respond, to be positive, you could end up carrying that same load in this fashion:
“Wow!
A challenge made just for me.
A chance to test myself again!
I must get all of these opportunities because I can handle them.
When this one is over, I hope I get another chance to reveal my character.
“We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”
― Thomas S. Monson
A simple yet poignant bit of wisdom on how to navigate the currents and wind that take you through life.
During a discussion earlier this week, aspects centered on responses made when an event blows in and makes its presence known in your life. Whether it was an externally generated circumstance making itself known over time or suddently – or – one generated from within. No matter the origin, how we choose to respond makes all the difference in the world.
You see, regardless of its conception and incumbent inception into your existence, what will ultimately follow hinges on how you choose to respond.
Should it happen to be a positive occurrence, perhaps the response is to make your self “as one” with it to then follow a path of fulfillment, affirmation and growth. In situations such as those, perhaps Mr.Monson’s offering, “”For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude.” applies.
But what if the event that presents itself, externally or internally, appears as a gust. Carrying with it utter calamity, the potenial for loss, harm and destruction? Perhaps not where you think you chose to be. Or worse yet, the application of poor choices, self-centered behavior and a penchant for dishonesty brought with it an ill wind.
Some time ago, a mentor fervently espoused that “adversity is never an if proposition, but always a when event.” And despite the readily negative connotations, adversity also always carrys with it the grace of opportunity. Though it may not be readily apparent, if we open ourselves and “…may we choose a positive attitude”, it will become visible.
As we moved along towards closure of the discussion, the analogy of the wind and sails was offered and with it, produced a profound and lasting resonance.
You may encounter a trade wind of sorts, beckonging you to employ a varied deployment and orientation of sails so that you may capture all of the good it brings so that you may end up where you chose to be.
Or, perhaps the contrary occurs and you find yourself colliding with a potentially self generated gale or worse. There is nothing you can do to counter that wind and force of nature other than choose to adjust and change course.
It may come to represent a pattern of gales of adversity you have had to endure, or have created, through out your life.
Semantics, marketing and social media trends seem to somehow rule each day. It might be something oriented to draw out the athlete hidden deep within us. Maybe it is a phrase intended to bring out the leader that resides next to that athlete. Perhaps it is self defense tactics involving toxic environments and others. Or, a call to reveal one’s true character.
Now there isn’t anything off about any of these approaches. Not that they do not have relevance, sustainability or the potential for permanence. There is value to each and everyone. From my perspective, it is just that for some reason they appear to be targeted to a very specific group. And as such, the potential impact of what is being presented, said and promoted becomes so focused on one thing, that other ancillary concerns and needs are totally missed.
So as a football coach a year ago, E + R = O was presented to the program. At first glance, some apparent math equation that in our circumstance happened to be geared towards our game and conduct within it. But then, I came across this approach within some of the corporate social media I read and write about. And even more so in things that involve leadership, character, achievement.
You name it, Mr. Kight’s foundation for making the life you choose is everywhere
But now, I have started to see it from an entirely different perspective.
You can gear up things that apply to very specific targets. To become known for a prowess that speaks to a very specific audience. Perhaps some KPI. Or, since you have developed these tactics that have the potential to embrace a much wider group, perhaps it can be presented as that first, then as a dollar oriented approach.
The event plus response equals outcome viewpoint literally applies to all aspects of life. Not just athletics, business, self improvement or any other interest of the moment.
It goes far deeper than all the above.
Imagine you encounter an event in your life that beckons an urgent response. Maybe it is a health issue. A relationship challenge. Spiritual collapse. Alcohol or drug abuse. A self destructive behavior you somehow made your own. Loneliness.
All in their own right, entities not designed to fit a marketing driven collection of buzz words, phrases and such designed to attract likes, clicks and impressions. But rather, to fit into something with an altogether different gravity and mass.
An event you now face, plus the response you choose to make and how that will eventually create the outcome sought.
We all face them. We all need to respond accordingly. And then, we need to either accept the outcome, go back and amend our response and continue this assessment until the event has been overcome.
Or just accept things and call in the dogs.
Events are never trumpeted, announced or heralded. Well, not usually. And the tenor of these occurrences should not determine the fealty of the way things are encountered, embraced or enjoined.
We need merely to respond in a fashion that produces what we ultimately desire to achieve.
Whether we acknowledge it or not.
So, while an event prescribes a certain response, it may not be within our grasp to do so at this moment. It may be timing, circumstance, presence, placement or an unwillingness to accept the need for change. A stubbornness born of seeing things through your well worn rose colored specs.
Though response to an event will ultimately equate to an outcome, events and responses may be ill equipped to produce if not properly discerned, honestly approached and embraced with an element of surrender.
If you can somehow adhere to this equation at this level, all other situations will follow suit, providing the genuine, warranted and desired outcome.
Remain present in the event. Be honest with yourself about the response that is required.
At first glance, opportunity may appear as a singular solid mass. Yet, its construction actually consists of multiple, interrelated layers. One overlapping the other, each oriented in such a way as to require a certain measure of patience, enduring persistence and a committed effort to seek what lay beneath the outer surface, each layer below and finally what resides at its core.
Now some may be content to just run with what is obvious and readily apparent from the outside. Finding enough satisfaction and a modicum of accomplishment in getting what they happen to get with minimal risk and exertion. Choosing a course of expediency over what is really being offered.
But those that are willing to fully invest in the moment, discern the truth of the situation and embrace opportunity in full stand to gain so much more. Not merely as a possession. But more so an avenue that can perpetually lead them directly to what they can become. A chance to divine one’s purpose, experience lasting personal achievement and pursue a path towards excellence.
On more than one occasion over the course of coaching football, we came to speak of “wearing a target”. How we would be pursued during a specific game, rivalry or over the course of a season as a whole. The inevitable by-product of developing a positive attitude, winning approach, culture of accountability, team and program. In some cases by making history and simply causing a lot of people to wonder just where we came from.
This too might occur in a professional setting. Corporate rivalries, competitors and the like that see you as the largest obstacle to their success in the market. Then one level lower, maybe there are those you work with or against in sales or customer service that place that target on the back of your polo.
Regardless of the situation, there are several ways you can choose to look at this circumstance or scenario. Most of which may backfire.
But in reality, there is but one way to see it for what it genuinely is; opportunity.
Not so much of the singular solid mass variety. But more so a construction consisting of multiple, interrelated layers.
Well suited for who you are and what you are built to become.
Unfortunately, the idea of wearing a target can be easily misconstrued as a hindrance. Unwanted pressure. Excess weight. One more thing to worry about. Thoughts, then words and eventually actions that dismisses, distorts and disparages the true opportunity that lay beneath each layer.
Wearing a target whatever your vocation is a badge of honor.
The medallion that signifies selfless effort, an absence of ego, unyielding commitment, resolute faith and a boundless passion for the mission. An insignia that tells all where you came from, what you made yourself into and where you can ultimately go.
From a football perspective, each and every scrimmage and game enjoined during a season could be viewed as a conference championship. Each opponent’s opportunity to take aim at the target. Take you down. Show the state they beat the champ. To be as good or better than you for one Friday night. A prime example of seeing opportunity as only a singular mass.
In the work world, each effort to expand your presence in the market may be viewed in similar fashion. The sales call intended to turn a customer your way or gain entry into a new market will be known. The manner in which you covet a customer to the extent that you make them the center of your efforts ripples back to the competition.
And yet, while they focus their thoughts, words and deeds to try to be as good as or better than your team, your company or you, you will still be working towards a much more significant and singular opportunity: becoming the best version of yourself and all you were intended to become at this particular moment.
From a football sense a layer or two beneath might be the chance to gain mass, increase strength and add speed, Peel back another may find you reaching that team GPA level, increasing community service times two and supporting every other athlete, artist, performer and scholar on their field of play as they do on yours.
From a professional sense, maybe you gain attention, develop a new relationship, explore how you might benefit one another and begin to work together. Multiple layers within that one instance. Multiply that by infinity as your thoughts, words and deeds spread through the market.
Embracing the appellation of “wearing the target” need not distract you from your goals and desires. It simply means that how you go has obviously inspired others to pursue being like you.
You should appreciate that sense of affirmation.
But at the same token, it is meant to seriously fuel your engines to take things even further.
...my temporary assignment. 