Tag: mental-health

A temple.

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. 

But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”  ― C.S. Lewis,

I think for the most part He might be past the ‘getting the drains right and stopping the leaks’ phase of the renovation. 

But then again, maybe not. 

I get the impression that He is not going to be satisfied with only one new wing. And an extra floor. There is still an abundance of work that is going on inside of me.

To be honest,  I am not always able to appreciate why certain things have had to happen, are still happening and have yet to happen. But as time passes, I am letting go. Learning to trust. Accepting that  it is all part of His plan for me. And embracing an attitude of gratitude.   

Perhaps some of you are where I am these days.  

Being rebuilt too.  Feeling that same kind of remodeling sensation. 

Developing an awareness of an intentional, internal renovation.  

For certain, this is an ongoing process that can leave clutter.  Scatter your  focus. Misplace some of your trusted tools and talents.    And unsettle your demeanor. 

For the most part, I am “ok” with all of this.  

Not “ok” like,  “whatever”. Far from that.  

But “ok” as in I am getting used to it. Still.  Learning more than I ever imagined.   Growing into this relationship.  Beginning to  get a glimmer of what I might look like once this phase of the project is completed. And wondering who I will become once He finishes.

But I do have to confess.   

From time to time, and more often than I care to admit, this renovation process totally stresses me out. 

It starts out as a simmering anxiety. Soon, I feel the fear begin to well up inside.  And then, for no apparent reason, it just spews out in all directions. As hurt.  A bruised ego.  Selfish pride.  Diminished self.  

Anger. 

Sometimes the venting is directed at all the innocents around me.  Other times, unmercifully towards myself in destructive thoughts, words and deeds.  

And, finally, I train my aim on Him.  

But as anyone should do when they have a disagreement with their best friend, I speak my piece. 

Not just when I hit my knees.  

But to or from work.  Cutting the grass. Watching the sun come up.   Or during a walk.  Places and times where it can be just He and I. 

Before I even get there, he already sees the simmering anxiety.  Senses my fears.  And weathers the anger.  Taking  the worst I can offer.  No matter what.

He listens.  

Helps.

And always comes back for more.  

Little by little, with great effort, patience and faith, I am trying my best to get past the self-generated drama and self-aggrandizing behaviors that I allow to become a part of this venture. 

And foist upon others. 

While those around me may beg to differ,I never think I have all of the answers. 

But I do think I have earned some wisdom to share throughout His renovation process.  

I better understand what He wants it all to look like.  

And despite the mess, it absolutely feels like home to me.

So since He holds the permit, I will be content to let the master builder do His work.  

Because after all, the body was meant to be a temple.

Thinking your path

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”

  Henry David Thoreau 

Perhaps you find yourself at a crossroads. And by gaining a sense of this, feeling its tug and gaining an awareness of gravity, do you regroup?  Engage in a course correction?  Some element of self transformation?   

Consider how the mass of  your collective thoughts, words and deeds have led you to this instant. How they came to impact oneself.  Make you  something.  Leading you somewhere.

They all matter.  And even now, in this moment, both they and you are still being shaped.  

Taking all that you have been up to now and making you into what you are to become. The embodiment of all that is the best in you; character, excellence, perseverance and leadership.  

Your intentions can finally and irrevocably become reality.  A convergence of age, ability, experience. The confluence of discipline, desire and dreams.

In something altogether new.  That will stand  alone and the test of time.  That will never happen precisely in this fashion ever again. 

Long ago, you may have entertained the smallest germ of a thought.  A glimmer of a dream. 

At that moment, you decided.  You chose a destination. 

A path was needed.  Direction determined.  A pace to be set.   

So you let go.  Abandoned yourself, while exerting the will to expend yourself in all aspects of your being. Succumbing to a level of  self- discipline that ultimately created this extraordinary circumstance. 

Creating a singular vision, originating from a common perspective. Led by the thoughts we chose to dominate our life.  Following the deep mental path we walked along and through.  

Guiding  us to who, what and where we always imagined.

Having an attitude of gratitude

“Gratitude is a “belief and conviction that serves as a constant reminder of what you have been given, where you came from and whose shoulders you are standing on now. “ 

It is more than a mere “thank you” and far deeper than simple appreciation. 

Gratitude is the humble acknowledgement of the extraordinary role that others have played in getting you to this point in your life. A modest recognition of how their influence first got you started. Then pushed you to keep going. And continued to encourage you to achieve whatever it was you desired.

 When it comes right down to it, gratitude is a way of being. 

Thinking, speaking and acting in such a way as to honor how others intentionally gave you all they had to give, so you could achieve, excel and succeed. Gratis. 

Gratitude is about developing a mindset that is rooted in humility. And coming to possess an “attitude of gratitude”.

So if you will, please indulge me for a moment. 

Take a look back, reflect and think of all you have been freely “given”, gifted or entrusted with by others throughout your life. Not so much in terms of things. But rather the time. Talent. Wisdom. Support. And love. Now, this is an exercise that can be a staggering undertaking if you attempt an honest assessment of such a big picture. 

So let’s just focus on one small aspect of our life. Perhaps it was as a player or coach. Something we all share in common. 

You want to talk about blessings? 

The opportunity to play at the youth, high school and college level. To learn to love that game from some great fathers, mothers, men, women, mentors and teammates. To receive the undying support of parents, siblings, extended family, friends, entire student bodies, communities and educational institutions. To be present in an environment where we can cultivate life-long friendships. To learn, accumulate and put into practice some of the most treasured lessons on life – from some of the  greatest games ever invented. And simply just be a part of all of this. 

Think about the distance we have all traveled. 

Not just in a geographic sense. But mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Where all of us first started, where we are today and the path each of us intends to follow thereafter. Consider how far we have come as a person. Friend. Son. Student. Man.Woman.  Athlete. Coach. 

Now, never would I diminish anyone’s effort, intention, commitment or role throughout any of this. 

But to be honest, where we are today isn’t so much just because of anything one of us did on our own. Rather, it all pretty much came down to what others thought of us. Saw within us. Believed in each of us. Entrusted to us. And yes, eventually, expected every single one of us to do. Because those individuals had so much faith in each one of us – first as players and then as coaches – our transformation became possible. 

They pushed each of us in precisely the right manner. Challenged us to embrace the work, to make the commitment, aim our aspirations higher and achieve at a higher level than we ever imagined. They loved us enough to carry us on their shoulders. A vantage point that reveals a bigger picture. To help ensure that our present might match what they envisioned our future to someday be. 

Even now, their all encompassing and enduring support remains. Taking us even farther and higher than ever dreamed. There is no way to repay their generosity. To compensate them for what they gave us in terms of their time, their effort, their support and unyielding faith. In a certain sense, we will forever be indebted to them. And yet, this was never a transaction, A quid pro quo. It was simply a gift. Freely given without condition. Strings or attachments. 

So it is incumbent on each of us to acknowledge the extraordinary role that others have played in getting each of us to this point in our lives. Recognize how their influence got us started. How they pushed us to keep going. And continue to encourage all of us to achieve whatever it was we desired. 

Embrace an attitude of gratitude. 

Give another all you have. 

Help them achieve, excel and succeed. 

Then, clear some room on your shoulders. 

Let them share the view you were once given. 

Gratis.