Tag Archives: patience

Just when.

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Daily writing prompt
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
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Perspective, to me, is largely vision. Maybe not so literally. But perhaps more so tangibly. How what you have experienced, embraced, engaged in, exchanged or exhumed have come to currently define your presence and being in this moment.

The combination of significant life events and time have the potential to create wonder, fulfillment and joy. On the flip side, they can also work in the opposite direction, producing woe, abandonment and despair. All of which are contingent on perspective. The tangible.

Of all the many tangible gifts of perspective granted to me through my ongoing experience in football, the two that stand apart involve adversity.

The first, spoken by a true mentor was this: “Adversity is never an if proposition, but only a when event”. The other, of more recent vintage, read was this, “event plus response equals outcome”

The theme central to each of these perspectives?

Opportunity as it conveyed through choice.

For in the former, when adversity occurs, you may exercise your free will to choose how you will respond. That decision will ultimately reveal the opportunity that lay in all adversity. Or, lead to fight or flight, being seen only as a threat. In the latter, the equation involving a tangible perspective is fully fleshed out. E+R=O. Applicable to virutally any and all interactions, whether trying or accommodating.

So, back to the prompt.

Lacking a true, tangible perspective regarding life events added to the passage of time has wreaked some havoc around these parts. Simply thinking things will get better, this too shall pass and parking it on the back burner have a tendency to place the onus elsewhere. Deflect responsibility. Even blame in the worst sense.

Choosing a path of avoidance over acceptance, gifting those calamities to other sources while delaying tangible engagement produces exactly the outcome you chose.

On the other hand, genuine acceptance, honest ownership and fully intentional association with all events, in real time, will effect not just change, but the outcome desired. Opportunities found in all manner of adversity. Positive, fulfilling and lasting outcomes conveyed through choice.

Assuming this tangible perspective creates in me a joyful anticipation of life events. And my soul’s desire and most ardent wish is that they will all fit within my ultimate passage of time. I no longer simply envision where it is I am going and what I am starting to become. I can actually feel to movement. The change. My outcome.

Finally.

No longer if.

Just when.

Did I miss something?

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Daily writing prompt
What do you complain about the most?
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My stoic nature being what it is, one would think by appearance alone, all I do is complain. Perhaps there is an element of truth to that revelation. Take it as you wish, I think this is how I complain.

First, no offense intended by using some of the following statements and inherent descriptions. They pretty much say it like it is about this guy and how I see things.

I am another version of OCD.

Obsessive/cleaning/coordinating/combining/correcting/clarifying/composing/confronting/considering/congratulating/disorder. Maybe I missed a few. Oh, completing. If I think of more, I will circle back. But I digress….

I like things to be in order. Not always mine. Just in order so that we have time to live. In establishing a pattern, things flow, they happen and there are little or no distractions created to take one off their game. So dishes get done, washer filled and unfilled, dirty clothes in laundry room waiting their turn, recyling routine, beds made. You know a sense of order. Not perfection, that ain’t possible. Just intention. So I can bore you all with this prompt today. Aren’t you glad.

So where the complaining comes in is pretty much internal. I live the flow around here, and when I see something that could go better or makes more sense based on how we live, then I just adjust accordingly. Don’t tell them to do it. Just do it myself and let things happen. No one comes home to discover the laundry room now in the living room to improve efficiency and recycling bins in the kitchen. (Yet) Just looking at the big picture and smoothing out rough edges.

Sort of how I coach too.

I understand the objectives, see the big picture and figure out ways to gain growth, improvement, achievement and excellence. Not in a complaining, hen pecking, diminishing and scolding manner. Rather, gaining trust, understand what it is I see in you, let me show you how to get there. Then, just play. Practice is for practice; coaching them up, fine tuning, instilling self discipline, repetition, trust. Games are games. Times to be encouraged, reminded to stick with the fundamentals, stay together and have fun.

Applies to my current vocation as well. Job development for those with diverse abilities is just like coaching football in my estimation. No pads to speak of, except maybe to protect one from beating themselves up. But hey, we all do that, don’t we? Work the fundamentals, practice, observe and let them play. Some of the interviews I have witnessed were way better than a come from behind game on the field.

So, from a strictly definition oriented standpoint, I really do not have anything to complain about.

Not a thing.

Could I be more patient, understanding and listen better? Heck yeah.

Could I smile more than twice a year? Yup.

Stop the internal fussing? Wait, who’s fussing?

Let things be? I will get back to you on that.

In the end, I get to be my OCD self, as currently described above. Live a life around those that get it. And still be loved.

No complaints whatsoever.

Whew.

Wait.

Did I miss something?

Ever.

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Daily writing prompt
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
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Actually, there have been several of late.

Getting hugs from the young men I coached in football this fall before their wrestling meet last night.

Laying on the floor with my grandson, he crawls over, looks at me and gives me a head bump with his baby noggin. And then just holds it there.

Stopping over to meet my newest granddaughter for the first time, and having my son open the door with her in his arms and ask, “…so you want to hold her?”

Hearing from my buddies from highschool.

Dancing like a couple of dorks in the kitchen with my best friend.

Coming across friends that just listen and support. No matter what.

I think I get too focused on making it an event instead of just being fully in the moment. Making it into something is a distraction, essentially pulling you away from the bond of that instant. Just being all in, right there, makes all the difference in your life.

To take it one step further, I know shocking and totally out of character, connect the dots back to where it all started. For reasons yet to be understood, sometimes you just don’t truly understand your own value, worth and impact. That can become quite the obstacle, acting to ensnare you into bad choices, demeaning behaviors and dangerous directions.

Then those small moments happen. Somehow right when you could use it. Maybe you don’t realize you do, but they present themselves as a gift. And if you stay right where you are and accept it with an attitude of gratitude, some of the weight and worry come off, replaced with a warm sense of wonder.

You know what they say about coincidence, right?

He knows exactly what you need. When you need it most. If you can fully stay in that moment, you will feel what has been lacking. A true sense of worth and value in a way that casts an impression that remains forever. You will want more.

Some of the best examples of being loved.

Ever.

And it is gonna be great.

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Daily writing prompt
What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?
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Longevity ebbs and flows in my family. I remember my grandpa driving at 97, before he thought Uber was a better mode of transport. Well, maybe not Uber, but “Uncle”. Then there is my younger brother that just passed two years ago.

So it is what it is.

As far as I am concerned, for the purposes of today’s assignment, it comes down to being fully intentional about making the most of what you have been gifted.

Experience tells me that allocating the precious resources granted for this moment towards resentment, regret and retribution of the past is not what it is cracked up to be. Then, if you embark in advance of the here and now predicated on the approach of, “…that didn’t work, so I will cut this corner and use that short cut this time sround”, you pretty much added to an already sorrowful past.

The past is what it was. The future is what it may be. The present is just that, a present like Mr. Keane said a few days ago. That being said, I have no clue as to what living a long life is to me. If I can make the most out of every hour of every day going forward, then that will elongate my stay here.

When it comes time to give my notice, my only desire is that I can rest in peace knowing I gave it my everything. We are all gifted this position here on earth. Toiling in the dirt and debris of the past or buzzing about in the ether of the future would make me a worm or a fly. Nothing against them, but I like to think my focus needs to be on living life, not looking for feces.

So perhaps my longevity ends up somewhere between my grandpa and my brother. So be it.

Whatever the case, I have a lot to do today.

And it is gonna be great.

Or if you prefer, a circus.

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Daily writing prompt
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
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“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.”
― Bil Keane

He is the creator of “The Family Circus” cartoon, one of the first places I ventured, growin’ up, when the Sun-Times or Tribune was delivered on Franklin Street. Mr. Keane said that his name was spelled “Bil” because his parents knocked the “L” out of him for using the walls as his easel when he began to draw.

The past has its place. Back there. A resource like that spot in the library where the records of all the books, stories and reference material being stored was kept and maintained. While it has its function, living in the Dewey Decimal System is counter productive. Going back now and again to better understand how you got to be where you are now is a healthier way to employ the past.

Tomorrow is truly a mystery. All you can do to get an unkling as to what is to come the next morning, is to do all you can, to the best of your abilities before your noggin hits the pillow the night before. You could awake to calm waters, a steady tail wind and nothing but clear skies ahead. Or, you could face a tempest that will do its best to wring you out and question your own existence. Either way, you are meant to adapt and acheive. You just have to keep the short and Raybans next to the rain gear and boots.

Today is a present.

His gift to each of us. Opened at our discretion, used to the fullest we choose and then granted a decimal to keep the events in order for future reference. We are granted the grace to make the best of what we have been given. To create profound yesterdays and once in a life time tomorrows.

Or if you prefer, a circus.