With him.

Today’s reflection shared a story of a mother and her seven sons from the book of 2 Maccabees 7:1, 20-31. They were being tormented, tortured and murdered by Antiochus, one by one, one in front of the other, because they would not give themselves up to what he said they needed to be. Despite his vain offers of false glory, prestige, standing and power, to a person they deferred and accepted their end on earth so that they may live on in eternity.

I don’t think it is so much that I am looking for new meanings in things I hear or read. After spending much of my life headed in my direction, because I wanted to, of course because I am right and the rest of you can deal with it, let’s just say that my commanding, know it all inner Antiochus voice now has some truly loving company. Offering a more compelling way of living out my days.

When you hear things in that tone and tenor, it is like taking a deep breath, taking a step back, removing the “life vision goggles” and experiencing the moment as it truly is.

Wonderful.

That is, wonder-full.

The voice of Antiochus that had ruled my way of being and was intent on doing so for the rest of it has faded into the noise of the background. Another, that had been patiently waiting in the wings has resonated in my soul and spirit, in a symphony of love and understanding. It is that voice I now hear. One that has overcome the cacophony of selfishness, ego and self-righteousness.

So you can never really know when something totally life changing will occur. The latest one for me was today at about 7:29 AM, in the kitchen, watching the sun come up. With any luck, maybe there will be a return engagement later this morning, afternoon or tonight when the stars come out.

The Antiochus’ in your life may seem to be all powerful. But they consist of the things you really need not possess to fully live.

Tell him “no thank you”.

Embrace His voice.

Move towards life.

With Him.

Surrendered

I think I have shared this revelation twice or thrice before, but throughout this ongoing process of reclamation, words and the timing thereof have taken on an entirely different contextual sense and assume an unexpected mass. 

Whether it be the things I read, the thoughts I hear, conversations shared or the unanticipated  moments alone, words of late have brought about a compellingly different way of being. Filters in place for ages are being amended or altered altogether.  Their resonance has taken on an entirely new timbre. 

Like this. 

“Surrender”.  

Not so much any more the verb  exclusively defining it as the act of giving up, accepting embarrassing defeat, losing. But rather, surrender as a patient, knowing and faith filled embrace that is determined to free oneself of control, rationalization and ego. Along with it, comes letting go of  fear, anxiety and the unknown.  Not to say in any sense that surrender is item #5 on your “to do” list, or what you have planned for the weekend now that the kids are away.  

Surrender is the centerpiece of metanoia.  A transformative change in body, heart, mind and soul. It can approach you from a variety of paths.  The realization that old habits are no longer affirming.  That occupation is more about consumption of time, effort and maintenance than true purpose.  And a sense that you diverged from being that man or woman you once thought you were. 

Las night, I then came across this one. 

“Surrendered.”  

As shared in a thought by Rick Warren, it isn’t an act but an outcome. Coming  across more so as a noun, something you choose to become, learn to know  and live by and as.  Though you may have acted to surrender before, the way he now employs it acts to  define not just  what and who you are. But how you got there.  

“You also know you’re surrendered when you don’t react to criticism and rush to defend yourself. Surrendered hearts show up best in relationships. You don’t edge others out, you don’t demand your rights, and you aren’t self-serving when you’re surrendered.”

Being held captive by the critics, external and internal, can become confining and isolating. You devolve into what they espouse you should be. A part of the herd.

When you make yourself first and foremost around others, then what is the point?  Assuming that throne does nothing to establish a nurturing, loving connection for anyone involved. How can they possibly wedge themselves into your protective ego-aura? 

His last sentence simply captures it all. 

One action, surrender, is what it takes so you can just “be”. 

Surrendered.

Listen.

Luke 8:16-18

“No one after lighting a lamp hides it under a jar, or puts it under a bed, but puts it on a lampstand, so that those who enter may see the light. For nothing is hidden that will not be disclosed, nor is anything secret that will not become known and come to light. Then pay attention to how you listen; for to those who have, more will be given; and from those who do not have, even what they seem to have will be taken away.”

Fitting words for the times we find ourselves in.

Impeccable timing as well.

A faith journey brings with it enhanced and enlightened senses. What might have been simply glossed over before, now seems so obvious, compelling and illuminating. The sentences, the phrasing and the words take on an entirely new meaning.

In the past few days, the lamp has become a beacon. Things hidden away in the dark are becoming known and coming to light.

“Pay attention to how you listen; for to those who have, more will be given;”. When your senses awaken, things sound different. They take on new meaning. Carry a different weight. If you hear it like that once, you will hear it like that again. Again. And again. More of that will be given if only you can hear.

“…and from those who do not have, even what they seem to have will be taken away.” Those who have not listened. What they seem to have, will be lost. Speaking from experience, truer words were never spoken. I for one did not hear. Chose not to listen. And as a result, so much was lost.

So much.

Perhaps your light simply starts as a candle. So be it. May be it is the only such source in your life. Feed it. Share that glow with the world around you. As the ember grows, make it into a lamp and carry it with you wherever you go. Guiding you forward and others towards that loving glow.

Your other senses will become illuminated.

“Pay attention to how you listen; for to those who have, more will be given;”

Begin to hear what is always being said. You will be given far more to hear.

Truer words were never spoken.

To love.

We all are made to love.  

Part of His divine design. As created by our higher power.  God is the very source of love and we are called to embrace, reflect and direct that love to others. 

Yet during the course of life’s travails, disappointments and distrust, we begin to engage in the process of actively obscuring that attribute.  Cordoning off that integral and essential aspect of our being.  Seeking ephemeral pursuits.  Avoiding our true nature.  Evading our responsibility.  And in so doing, creating a false sense of security, safety and wellbeing.  

Despite the fact that we are hardwired for it, and it is our primary purpose, it can hurt to love.  

To give it without condition, guarantee or quid pro quo.  To expose oneself to a seemingly fatal level of self-inflicted pain.   We convince ourselves to capitulate to that illusion.  That we will not survive the giving.  That it will never be received as we intend.  Or more to the point – how we expect it to be taken. Or that we need to be present to witness the ultimate outcome.  

Choosing to succumb to a skinned knee, while another within our immediate universe might  be in the throes of a hopeless, lingering, lonely spiral downward.  Choosing process, research and expediency over interaction, intuition and patience.  Focusing on our flaws rather than the good inherent to the core.  Choosing ourselves and our needs first over those of another and making them second. 

True, dispensing, gifting and asserting love are all arduous tasks. The heaviest lifting imaginable   Missions that can generate more than their fair share of discomfort, disappointment and despair.  

Forgoing our heavenly purpose, ignoring our design and ignoring our Creator.  

Fortunately, there are those within our midst that refuse to be deterred.  Fervently remaining on point. Absorbing the pain.  Depleting themselves.  Giving it up.  

These sturdy souls, with an unyielding faith, have leaned into this mission.  Recognized that their purpose lay within.  The pain is temporary.  Reserves can be refilled.  And giving it up is who they are.  

You see, we are all made to love.  It’s just that we need to trust in that level of faith, learn to surrender ourselves to Him, and allow Him to direct our path.   

Then we will be fully equipped and supported to do so for others.  

To love.

Back to a nakedness as it were.

As I progress through my self reclamation project, I find that in more ways than one, I am becoming more attuned to God. The readings, gospel, reflections and the homily inspire me to discover, read, reflect and open myself to ever more to centering Him in my life. Revelation upon revelation.

At football today, I had the opportunity to share the lectern with a fellow coach, for “Faith and Football.” Reading Matthew 23, and then some thoughts on our perspective to the team, we hoped to create an awareness of ego and pride within them and how it can work against them, isolating all from each other and obstructing development, growth and the auspices of a true team.

“Incurvatus in se” and “excurvatus ex se”, the definitive approach I came across last week was a central part of our segment today. They offer a compelling avenue towards understanding the ill effects of ego and a pride run rampant, for all involved. And as I went deeper into these aspects of faith, they provided the key towards a better grasp of sin.

Words can become so convoluted and misrepresented. Convoluted not so much in terms of complicated and difficult to understand, but moreso akin to the technical view of the word;”intricately folded, twisted, or coiled.” Misrepresented, to “give a false or misleading account of the nature of.”, so that an audience can be led to or away from some desired end point. By the looks of it, sin falls into that convoluted, misrepresented category.

Now at this point of this collection of words and punctuation, this is just me thinking out loud. Well, typing/blogging out loud. So here goes:

My initial understanding of it – sin – was the acts committed. And that original sin was our affliction at birth. Immoral, wrong, hurtful things we choose to do, perhaps predicated from a mindset possessed the day we were born. Simplistic in my estimation. Generic. Overly. Not to mention that it leaves one kinda hangin’.

Reading more about and peering into the Garden, a deeper sense of awareness and connection is more evident. They two were formed of the earth and breathed into life by Him, granted both freewill and the experience offered by the world about them. Anything the heart could desire could be found in the trees that surrounded and sheltered them. All was theirs to experience, save one. The fruit of the tree of knowledge.

As Bishop Barron explains it; “So how about the prohibition? We hear that
they are prohibited from eating from one tree, which
is a “tree of knowledge of good and evil.” What does
that mean? God is the unconditioned good. Therefore,
God is, in his own being, the criterion of good and evil.
Therefore, the prerogative belongs to God alone to
know good and evil. The original sin is arrogating to
ourselves the prerogative of determining good and evil,
when our wills become the criterion and the measure
rather than God.”

Pretty much depicts the nature of the serpent that has been ever present in my life; ego.

Professing to know it all and be everything to everybody as espoused from the pulpit of my creation – ego and pride. And as Adam and Eve found shelter from themselves and protection from the truth by donning clothes, that only serves to cave oneself in around oneself. “Incurvatus in se”.

Arrogating spells out to a “T” the aim of the ego and false pride. It cannot but help reduce oneself into a being of false servitude.

The daily revelations that He shares with me, have opened a heart and mind that have remain closed for quite some time. In many ways a form of solitary confinement.

Exerting the gift of freewill and choosing His path is remaking things for me in this stage in life. The apeture is growing , the curve opening outward more towards Him and others.

BRUEGHEL, Jan El Viejo_El Jardín del Edén, c.1610-1612 _(CTB.1988.29)

Back to a nakedness as it were.