Tag Archives: ego

My party grew by One.

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Daily writing prompt
If you had the power to change one law, what would it be and why?
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If I had that power to do one thing that substantial and everlasting, I sincerely doubt I would be sitting at a kitchen table here in Wisconsin. There would definitely be an altitude correction. Seeing the sun rise as it is this morning is a loving reminder of that and our role here today. I am perfectly fine letting Him hoist that celestial light so that we can begin the day and try to do our best.

Now I do have the capacity to change one thing. For the pusposes of this instant, it could be considered law.

Perspective needs to shift though. The view cannot be focused entirely inward. For the purposes of reflection, discernment and repentance you will need to invest the time, effort and intention within, so as to have an honest understanding of the law you allow to govern your thoughts, words and deeds without. For abiding by the wrong statutes can definitely bring harm to you and those all around you.

Abiding by decrees determined to place me above you, or me first you and you last, I am right and you are wrong, I know everyting but you don’t and I have everything under control will eventually lead to revolt. A deeply personal insurrection that walls you off from all “threats” and acts to bring complete isolation. Enabling you to allegedly “live” in your own decrepitly selfish city-state. One party. One person. One vote.

Big ego.

During a recent, ongoing convention, I assumed the podium as usual, pounded the gravel and filibustered with all the nonsense I could muster to convince my party to keep going down this path of destruction. One voice whispered from the back. Hidden. An utterance I had noticed on more than one occassion, but chose to ignore. As I became enveloped in a forlorn sense of fatigue, despair and aloneness, the wall began to came down.

Finally.

I realized that I didn’t have to assign myself a place of honor, be first in anything or even be right. I admitted that I had much to learn and no control whatsover. Except when it came to choosing to let go. I retired the gavel. Listening to that all loving delegate, convinced me to close my book and open another. Not simply to change my law of life. But to declare my independence. Rewrite my constitution.

Together.

My party grew by One.

For serving them is truly serving yourself.

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We are all a part of a much bigger purpose. 

Take a moment and reflect on just how many are involved in this event. 

Despite that fact, we are all just bit players, none more important than the other.  Each role that we play in this worldly act can have a tremendous impact on those all around us.   Appreciating and honoring our role in the grand production called “life” and how our performance can help or harm those around us is the true essence of humility. 

Humility is the trait that allows those that serve to lead to raise the level of those around them, by genuinely making it all about them. This is not as easy as it sounds.  This requires letting go – a surrendering of a portion of your self  – so that others may rise to their potential.  It means that you might have to learn to do without something you cherish, so that those around you can have it for themselves. 

“Humility is to make a right estimate of oneself.”

Charles H. Spurgeon

Ultimately, humility is one of the most powerful building blocks of a servant approach to leadership. It establishes a lasting and powerful connection between individuals. And it is through that sustaining linkage, that a powerful bond is not just born, but grown.

A true leader not only understands but embraces the importance and value of those around him.  Everyone has a role to play, and none should be diminished in order to raise another.  Those that need raising cannot be brought up due to whim or fairness. That elevation needs to be earned, and the effort genuinely recognized. 

When it comes to humility, as Pastor Spurgeon offered, much is made of “making the right estimate of oneself”.  What is making the right estimate of one-self?  Does it mean that you should not have confidence in your abilities?  That you should try any less?  That you are not worthy?

No, on the contrary.  It simply means that you recognize your role and that without others – with their varying abilities and talents – you cannot fulfill your true potential.

Thinking of them more never means you think less of yourself.

For serving them is truly serving yourself.

Back to a nakedness as it were.

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As I progress through my self reclamation project, I find that in more ways than one, I am becoming more attuned to God. The readings, gospel, reflections and the homily inspire me to discover, read, reflect and open myself to ever more to centering Him in my life. Revelation upon revelation.

At football today, I had the opportunity to share the lectern with a fellow coach, for “Faith and Football.” Reading Matthew 23, and then some thoughts on our perspective to the team, we hoped to create an awareness of ego and pride within them and how it can work against them, isolating all from each other and obstructing development, growth and the auspices of a true team.

“Incurvatus in se” and “excurvatus ex se”, the definitive approach I came across last week was a central part of our segment today. They offer a compelling avenue towards understanding the ill effects of ego and a pride run rampant, for all involved. And as I went deeper into these aspects of faith, they provided the key towards a better grasp of sin.

Words can become so convoluted and misrepresented. Convoluted not so much in terms of complicated and difficult to understand, but moreso akin to the technical view of the word;”intricately folded, twisted, or coiled.” Misrepresented, to “give a false or misleading account of the nature of.”, so that an audience can be led to or away from some desired end point. By the looks of it, sin falls into that convoluted, misrepresented category.

Now at this point of this collection of words and punctuation, this is just me thinking out loud. Well, typing/blogging out loud. So here goes:

My initial understanding of it – sin – was the acts committed. And that original sin was our affliction at birth. Immoral, wrong, hurtful things we choose to do, perhaps predicated from a mindset possessed the day we were born. Simplistic in my estimation. Generic. Overly. Not to mention that it leaves one kinda hangin’.

Reading more about and peering into the Garden, a deeper sense of awareness and connection is more evident. They two were formed of the earth and breathed into life by Him, granted both freewill and the experience offered by the world about them. Anything the heart could desire could be found in the trees that surrounded and sheltered them. All was theirs to experience, save one. The fruit of the tree of knowledge.

As Bishop Barron explains it; “So how about the prohibition? We hear that
they are prohibited from eating from one tree, which
is a “tree of knowledge of good and evil.” What does
that mean? God is the unconditioned good. Therefore,
God is, in his own being, the criterion of good and evil.
Therefore, the prerogative belongs to God alone to
know good and evil. The original sin is arrogating to
ourselves the prerogative of determining good and evil,
when our wills become the criterion and the measure
rather than God.”

Pretty much depicts the nature of the serpent that has been ever present in my life; ego.

Professing to know it all and be everything to everybody as espoused from the pulpit of my creation – ego and pride. And as Adam and Eve found shelter from themselves and protection from the truth by donning clothes, that only serves to cave oneself in around oneself. “Incurvatus in se”.

Arrogating spells out to a “T” the aim of the ego and false pride. It cannot but help reduce oneself into a being of false servitude.

The daily revelations that He shares with me, have opened a heart and mind that have remain closed for quite some time. In many ways a form of solitary confinement.

Exerting the gift of freewill and choosing His path is remaking things for me in this stage in life. The apeture is growing , the curve opening outward more towards Him and others.

BRUEGHEL, Jan El Viejo_El Jardín del Edén, c.1610-1612 _(CTB.1988.29)

Back to a nakedness as it were.

Sure am glad I did.

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It is comforting how the gospels and the reflections offered reflect the present moment and circumstance. Perhaps there are days when they require a deeper level of discernment. But then again, they can appear on the marquis, lights ablaze, drawing one to step in and see what it is He is showing.

Bishop Barron as a wonderful way of cutting to the chase. Breaking down thoughts and words conceptualized and spoken hundreds, if not thousands of years ago, into the raw essence of their devotional meaning. Truly a gift in my estimation in that things can become obscured from their honest intention, whether by accident or design.

Today, we are called to change our hearts and behaviors.

As the Bishop so shared: “St. Augustine defines sin as incurvatus in se—that means ‘caved in around oneself.’ To be in sin is to be ‘caved in’ around the ego and its narrow concerns.” I then went a little further and found “incurvatus in se” referred to as being “curved in on oneself”. Being self-absorbed to the extent that focus, desire and effort is consumed entirely to the benefit of oneself, to the abandonment of others.

Speaking from experience, a level of this degree of self-absorption can lead to a wide and debilitating array of negative consequences. Among them perpetual, scathing self-analysis, life-long score-keeping, an affinity and affection for deception and additional, destructive modes of ensuring a gathering isolation. Upon some ongoing, in depth discernment, discussion and reflection, I can say for certain, that being “caved in” or “curved in on one self” hits the nail on the head.

So following the Latin route given to me today, a better path would be “excurvatus ex se”. In other words, approaching life curved outward. With an open, honest and receptive focus on others and God. Ceding that quest for internal control brings with it serenity and genuine peace. Something that can create a level of affirmation never quite known before.

With that newfound perspective comes that same wish for others.

Not born of the self absorbed confines of an incurvatus ego and judgement. But rather a true outward excurvatus perspective of what it is really all about; others.

Not because I say so.

But simply because it is.

Took me quite a while to finally get geometry.

Sure am glad I did.

…by the ego.

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“…we are dominated today by the ego-drama in all of its ramifications and implications. The ego-drama is the play that I’m writing, I’m producing, I’m directing, and I’m starring in. We see this absolutely everywhere in our culture. Freedom of choice reigns supreme: I become the person that I choose to be.

The theo-drama is the great story being told by God, the great play being directed by God. What makes life thrilling is to discover your role in it.

This is precisely what has happened to Mary. She has found her role—indeed a climactic role—in the theo-drama, and she wants to conspire with Elizabeth, who has also discovered her role in the same drama.

And like Mary, we have to find our place in God’s story.” 

Father Robert Barron

Without a doubt, discovering your role in the great play is meant to be a thrilling endeavor.

But at the same time, it can also be  an unnerving, unsettling, daunting and down right scary experience as well.

That too comes with the territory. For you are meant to dig deep into this, His audition.

You have to find the courage within to allow Him to write, produce and direct you in the role of a lifetime. Embracing your freedom to choose to follow His script.

Allowing yourself to grow into  the character He has seen you as, and longed for you to become before you were even a glimmer or gleam in the eyes of others. 

Finding  your spot; whether in front of, on, to the side or back stage.

And practicing a faith that prepares you to deliver in thought, word and deed upon His cue.

Talk about character development.

Mary and Elizabeth were pivotal figures in His great play.

They intentionally and willingly found their mark on His stage.  And allowed themselves to unconditionally follow His lead in the theo drama for the ages.

So if you think  your story line isn’t what you thought it would be, let not the plot thicken. Seek to change the author.  For the Holy Ghost is a writer extraordinaire.

And you were built to pursue the career path in parallel with  His two foremost leading ladies.  On a journey that took them to follow His light.

Rather than seeking one that was bound to flicker.

A temporary incandescence that is kindled only by the ego.