Take a moment and reflect on just how many are involved in this event.
Despite that fact, we are all just bit players, none more important than the other. Each role that we play in this worldly act can have a tremendous impact on those all around us. Appreciating and honoring our role in the grand production called “life” and how our performance can help or harm those around us is the true essence of humility.
Humility is the trait that allows those that serve to lead to raise the level of those around them, by genuinely making it all about them. This is not as easy as it sounds. This requires letting go – a surrendering of a portion of your self – so that others may rise to their potential. It means that you might have to learn to do without something you cherish, so that those around you can have it for themselves.
“Humility is to make a right estimate of oneself.”
Charles H. Spurgeon
Ultimately, humility is one of the most powerful building blocks of a servant approach to leadership. It establishes a lasting and powerful connection between individuals. And it is through that sustaining linkage, that a powerful bond is not just born, but grown.
A true leader not only understands but embraces the importance and value of those around him. Everyone has a role to play, and none should be diminished in order to raise another. Those that need raising cannot be brought up due to whim or fairness. That elevation needs to be earned, and the effort genuinely recognized.
When it comes to humility, as Pastor Spurgeon offered, much is made of “making the right estimate of oneself”. What is making the right estimate of one-self? Does it mean that you should not have confidence in your abilities? That you should try any less? That you are not worthy?
No, on the contrary. It simply means that you recognize your role and that without others – with their varying abilities and talents – you cannot fulfill your true potential.
Thinking of them more never means you think less of yourself.
As I progress through my self reclamation project, I find that in more ways than one, I am becoming more attuned to God. The readings, gospel, reflections and the homily inspire me to discover, read, reflect and open myself to ever more to centering Him in my life. Revelation upon revelation.
At football today, I had the opportunity to share the lectern with a fellow coach, for “Faith and Football.” Reading Matthew 23, and then some thoughts on our perspective to the team, we hoped to create an awareness of ego and pride within them and how it can work against them, isolating all from each other and obstructing development, growth and the auspices of a true team.
“Incurvatus in se” and “excurvatus ex se”, the definitive approach I came across last week was a central part of our segment today. They offer a compelling avenue towards understanding the ill effects of ego and a pride run rampant, for all involved. And as I went deeper into these aspects of faith, they provided the key towards a better grasp of sin.
Words can become so convoluted and misrepresented. Convoluted not so much in terms of complicated and difficult to understand, but moreso akin to the technical view of the word;”intricatelyfolded, twisted, or coiled.” Misrepresented, to “give a false or misleading account of the nature of.”, so that an audience can be led to or away from some desired end point. By the looks of it, sin falls into that convoluted, misrepresented category.
Now at this point of this collection of words and punctuation, this is just me thinking out loud. Well, typing/blogging out loud. So here goes:
My initial understanding of it – sin – was the acts committed. And that original sin was our affliction at birth. Immoral, wrong, hurtful things we choose to do, perhaps predicated from a mindset possessed the day we were born. Simplistic in my estimation. Generic. Overly. Not to mention that it leaves one kinda hangin’.
Reading more about and peering into the Garden, a deeper sense of awareness and connection is more evident. They two were formed of the earth and breathed into life by Him, granted both freewill and the experience offered by the world about them. Anything the heart could desire could be found in the trees that surrounded and sheltered them. All was theirs to experience, save one. The fruit of the tree of knowledge.
As Bishop Barron explains it; “So how about the prohibition? We hear that they are prohibited from eating from one tree, which is a “tree of knowledge of good and evil.” What does that mean? God is the unconditioned good. Therefore, God is, in his own being, the criterion of good and evil. Therefore, the prerogative belongs to God alone to know good and evil. The original sin is arrogating to ourselves the prerogative of determining good and evil, when our wills become the criterion and the measure rather than God.”
Pretty much depicts the nature of the serpent that has been ever present in my life; ego.
Professing to know it all and be everything to everybody as espoused from the pulpit of my creation – ego and pride. And as Adam and Eve found shelter from themselves and protection from the truth by donning clothes, that only serves to cave oneself in around oneself. “Incurvatus in se”.
Arrogating spells out to a “T” the aim of the ego and false pride. It cannot but help reduce oneself into a being of false servitude.
The daily revelations that He shares with me, have opened a heart and mind that have remain closed for quite some time. In many ways a form of solitary confinement.
Exerting the gift of freewill and choosing His path is remaking things for me in this stage in life. The apeture is growing , the curve opening outward more towards Him and others.
BRUEGHEL, Jan El Viejo_El Jardín del Edén, c.1610-1612 _(CTB.1988.29)
It is comforting how the gospels and the reflections offered reflect the present moment and circumstance. Perhaps there are days when they require a deeper level of discernment. But then again, they can appear on the marquis, lights ablaze, drawing one to step in and see what it is He is showing.
Bishop Barron as a wonderful way of cutting to the chase. Breaking down thoughts and words conceptualized and spoken hundreds, if not thousands of years ago, into the raw essence of their devotional meaning. Truly a gift in my estimation in that things can become obscured from their honest intention, whether by accident or design.
Today, we are called to change our hearts and behaviors.
As the Bishop so shared: “St. Augustine defines sin as incurvatus in se—that means ‘caved in around oneself.’ To be in sin is to be ‘caved in’ around the ego and its narrow concerns.” I then went a little further and found “incurvatus in se” referred to as being “curved in on oneself”. Being self-absorbed to the extent that focus, desire and effort is consumed entirely to the benefit of oneself, to the abandonment of others.
Speaking from experience, a level of this degree of self-absorption can lead to a wide and debilitating array of negative consequences. Among them perpetual, scathing self-analysis, life-long score-keeping, an affinity and affection for deception and additional, destructive modes of ensuring a gathering isolation. Upon some ongoing, in depth discernment, discussion and reflection, I can say for certain, that being “caved in” or “curved in on one self” hits the nail on the head.
So following the Latin route given to me today, a better path would be “excurvatus ex se”. In other words, approaching life curved outward. With an open, honest and receptive focus on others and God. Ceding that quest for internal control brings with it serenity and genuine peace. Something that can create a level of affirmation never quite known before.
With that newfound perspective comes that same wish for others.
Not born of the self absorbed confines of an incurvatus ego and judgement. But rather a true outward excurvatus perspective of what it is really all about; others.
“…we are dominated today by the ego-drama in all of its ramifications and implications. The ego-drama is the play that I’m writing, I’m producing, I’m directing, and I’m starring in. We see this absolutely everywhere in our culture. Freedom of choice reigns supreme: I become the person that I choose to be.
The theo-drama is the great story being told by God, the great play being directed by God. What makes life thrilling is to discover your role in it.
This is precisely what has happened to Mary. She has found her role—indeed a climactic role—in the theo-drama, and she wants to conspire with Elizabeth, who has also discovered her role in the same drama.
And like Mary, we have to find our place in God’s story.”
Father Robert Barron
Without a doubt, discovering your role in the great play is meant to be a thrilling endeavor.
But at the same time, it can also be an unnerving, unsettling, daunting and down right scary experience as well.
That too comes with the territory. For you are meant to dig deep into this, His audition.
You have to find the courage within to allow Him to write, produce and direct you in the role of a lifetime. Embracing your freedom to choose to follow His script.
Allowing yourself to grow into the character He has seen you as, and longed for you to become before you were even a glimmer or gleam in the eyes of others.
Finding your spot; whether in front of, on, to the side or back stage.
And practicing a faith that prepares you to deliver in thought, word and deed upon His cue.
Talk about character development.
Mary and Elizabeth were pivotal figures in His great play.
They intentionally and willingly found their mark on His stage. And allowed themselves to unconditionally follow His lead in the theo drama for the ages.
So if you think your story line isn’t what you thought it would be, let not the plot thicken. Seek to change the author. For the Holy Ghost is a writer extraordinaire.
And you were built to pursue the career path in parallel with His two foremost leading ladies. On a journey that took them to follow His light.
Rather than seeking one that was bound to flicker.
A temporary incandescence that is kindled only by the ego.
When we “let it be”, we give our consent to allow things to play out.
This isn’t to say that we ever had the ultimate authority in these matters. We just like to think that we do. To “let it be” is an admission that we need to step back, defer our assumed jurisdiction and grant Him the opportunity to work things out. After all, His plans DO take precedence.
Once we can admit that personal command can be elusive and control is tenuous at best, we can cease and desist, cede our alleged authority, and let His will be done.
Regardless of the high praise we deem for our abilities, the importance we assign to our desires or the confidence we hold in the righteousness of our position, to “let go” assures us that we have correctly ordered our priorities and recognized our proper role.
At its core, to “let go” is choosing our surrender.
It is an acknowledgement that His loving order of things, “works best for us.”
As we endeavor to make the transition towards this “happy place”, less of our emotional and spiritual energy will be consumed on the superficial, transient and the petty.
We can conserve our precious personal resources. Create a reserve. And begin to reallocate it in another direction: outward. Once we reach this point, we can afford to “give it up”.
With less personal control and even surrender, things should spiral out of orbit – right? On the contrary; less sovereignty in this respect leads to greater independence, stability and well-being.
Control becomes an extension of our ego, and when left unchecked, has the potential to work against us – and – the greater good.
An ego run amok will falsely inflate our self-esteem. It will crowd out humility, creating within us a bogus sense of self-importance and security. It can become a very demanding companion.
For once you let it come to the table, it will remain there, begging to be fed.
Always desperate for attention, ego can enjoin us to perform all sorts of interpersonal gymnastics, cultivate manipulative behaviors and help perfect dishonesty. This is an exhausting and empty exercise.
When we learn to “let it be” and then find the courage to “let go”, we set ourselves on a trajectory towards the emotionally and spiritually fulfilling growth that can only be found when we “give it up”.
Abandoning our preoccupation with control and employing our innate humility to rein in ego, we can gain an essential element of independence.
No longer beholden to the transience of these self-made and self-destructive adversaries, we find our true center. With our overall sense of balance restored, and an enhanced sense of well-being imminent, we are positioned to give up more of our personal resources; our ‘self’.
As we can learn to syncopate our lives – altering its rhythm by putting the accent on thoughts, words and deeds not usually emphasized – we become attuned to an entirely different melody.
No longer distracted by our illusions of command and control or driven solely by ego, we have the opportunity to fulfill our potential and maximize our talents to a level that can only be achieved by openly sharing our abilities.
To “give it up”, is to share who and what we are in total, bringing light to places long kept dark, both within and without.
Once this path has been illuminated, it can lead us toward a lasting and positive personal transformation. By freeing our “selves” from our self-centered constraints, we gain true independence.
If only you can follow His gentle tug.
The more we allow ourselves to follow that pull, the more we recognize that it is where we were meant to be all along.
When we “give it up”, we shine the beacon of our better nature everywhere we go. Though we might start as but one point of light, over time, our radiance soon brings out the brilliance in others.
Our gift to them – “giving it up” – can become their gift of “giving it up” to others.
Only when we recognize these personal barriers – the ones that separate us from our gifts and from giving them fully to others – can they be dismantled and removed.
We can transform our lives and those around us when we become less concerned with control, no longer held captive by our ego. Absolved of maintaining such a high level of vigilance over our “selves”, we preserve more energy and retain more freedom to simply “be”.
When we can “give it up”, sharing more of what and who we are with others, our true “self” generates its own gravitational pull.
Just as we feel a gentle pull towards Him, others feel the gentle pull towards us.
The greater the orbit we allow our “selves” to venture into, while maintaining our synchronous orbit about Him, the more we are able to reveal the best that is in us, encouraging others to do the same.
All the good things in life He wants for us that can only come from “giving it up”.
...my temporary assignment. 