Tag: #faith

“Meno.”

I have found great joy in reading the gospel each morning in three different versions, emailed to me overnight. Each provides one with some key insights to ponder for the day to come and really gets those creative juices flowing. As you can probably tell. Presenting me with words I was kind of aware of, thought I understood, but really did not know from Adam.

Sorry. Helps sustain my humerous daddus affliction. But I digress…

This morning in the first reading  of 1 Maccabees 2:15-29, there was a retelling of the enforcement of a king’s apostasy and Mattathias’ reaction.

Akin to the mother and her seven sons and how they chose the after life in lieu of an affirmation of not only a false prophet but false view of life.

I went back to “apostasy” and discovered the origins, the Greek word “apostasia” meaning “defection, rebellion or abandonment”. Recalling my fondness for Etymology class with Mr. Paris in high school back in the 70’s, I went a little deeper. Who knew today would start with some archeology.

“Apostasia” is formed from a prefix “apo” meaning “away from” and the verb “histemi” meaning “to stand”. “Thus, the literal meaning is to stand away from”. 

Since this was first written long, long ago it has taken on a variety of meanings each of which are related to discarding ones faith. At this moment of of my personal reclamation project, however, I prefer to apply it from its original, literal meaning.

“To stand away from”.

My apostasia involves standing away from the ill conceived habits and thoughts that took me away from my true self. Beholding the notion that I had all of the answers and that I could do everything for everybody. Equipped with the double edged sword that is ego, I wounded humility for the sake of pride. All of which simply made me an island, surrounded by an ocean that ebbed with low self esteem and flowed with no forgiveness.

But as I have increasingly sacrificed the tenets of a choices poorly made and a life ill lived, a true fellowship beckons. One that called to the mother and seven sons. One that touched Mattathias and the multitudes of those that have followed. Removing me from a self-designed poverty and enriching me with an altogether serene and peaceful wholeness.

You may not realize it at first, but when you simply let go and stand away from what you were, you can genuinely become what you are meant to be.

My “apostasia” began with moving away from being alone as self-induced outcast. It has since evolved into allowing Him in and truly living.

“Meno”.

With him.

Today’s reflection shared a story of a mother and her seven sons from the book of 2 Maccabees 7:1, 20-31. They were being tormented, tortured and murdered by Antiochus, one by one, one in front of the other, because they would not give themselves up to what he said they needed to be. Despite his vain offers of false glory, prestige, standing and power, to a person they deferred and accepted their end on earth so that they may live on in eternity.

I don’t think it is so much that I am looking for new meanings in things I hear or read. After spending much of my life headed in my direction, because I wanted to, of course because I am right and the rest of you can deal with it, let’s just say that my commanding, know it all inner Antiochus voice now has some truly loving company. Offering a more compelling way of living out my days.

When you hear things in that tone and tenor, it is like taking a deep breath, taking a step back, removing the “life vision goggles” and experiencing the moment as it truly is.

Wonderful.

That is, wonder-full.

The voice of Antiochus that had ruled my way of being and was intent on doing so for the rest of it has faded into the noise of the background. Another, that had been patiently waiting in the wings has resonated in my soul and spirit, in a symphony of love and understanding. It is that voice I now hear. One that has overcome the cacophony of selfishness, ego and self-righteousness.

So you can never really know when something totally life changing will occur. The latest one for me was today at about 7:29 AM, in the kitchen, watching the sun come up. With any luck, maybe there will be a return engagement later this morning, afternoon or tonight when the stars come out.

The Antiochus’ in your life may seem to be all powerful. But they consist of the things you really need not possess to fully live.

Tell him “no thank you”.

Embrace His voice.

Move towards life.

With Him.

Surrendered

I think I have shared this revelation twice or thrice before, but throughout this ongoing process of reclamation, words and the timing thereof have taken on an entirely different contextual sense and assume an unexpected mass. 

Whether it be the things I read, the thoughts I hear, conversations shared or the unanticipated  moments alone, words of late have brought about a compellingly different way of being. Filters in place for ages are being amended or altered altogether.  Their resonance has taken on an entirely new timbre. 

Like this. 

“Surrender”.  

Not so much any more the verb  exclusively defining it as the act of giving up, accepting embarrassing defeat, losing. But rather, surrender as a patient, knowing and faith filled embrace that is determined to free oneself of control, rationalization and ego. Along with it, comes letting go of  fear, anxiety and the unknown.  Not to say in any sense that surrender is item #5 on your “to do” list, or what you have planned for the weekend now that the kids are away.  

Surrender is the centerpiece of metanoia.  A transformative change in body, heart, mind and soul. It can approach you from a variety of paths.  The realization that old habits are no longer affirming.  That occupation is more about consumption of time, effort and maintenance than true purpose.  And a sense that you diverged from being that man or woman you once thought you were. 

Las night, I then came across this one. 

“Surrendered.”  

As shared in a thought by Rick Warren, it isn’t an act but an outcome. Coming  across more so as a noun, something you choose to become, learn to know  and live by and as.  Though you may have acted to surrender before, the way he now employs it acts to  define not just  what and who you are. But how you got there.  

“You also know you’re surrendered when you don’t react to criticism and rush to defend yourself. Surrendered hearts show up best in relationships. You don’t edge others out, you don’t demand your rights, and you aren’t self-serving when you’re surrendered.”

Being held captive by the critics, external and internal, can become confining and isolating. You devolve into what they espouse you should be. A part of the herd.

When you make yourself first and foremost around others, then what is the point?  Assuming that throne does nothing to establish a nurturing, loving connection for anyone involved. How can they possibly wedge themselves into your protective ego-aura? 

His last sentence simply captures it all. 

One action, surrender, is what it takes so you can just “be”. 

Surrendered.

I see.

“Amazing grace! how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch; like me!

I once was lost, but now am found,  Was blind, but now I see.”

– John Newton 

This hymn swells my heart, fills my soul and wells up my eyes with true gratitude.  Speaks to the twin blessings of both a divine and self forgiveness.  How the sense of being saved rings true in a new found presence for life. 

Whatever the source of one’s  wretchedness,  state of sin, spiritual need, distress or desperate need for rescue and redemption, His presence, love  and loop of grace leads one to a saving source of repentance.  Bringing forth an entirely different sensory affirmation of life in the world about us.  An unmistakable melody of gratitude heightened by a new found vision. 

Being lost is an orientation far more than simply geographical.  It may not be readily apparent from an external perspective.  But internalized, it can assume  an excruciatingly  painful and perilously winding nature, replete with false starts, stops and changes in direction.  Dishonesty, self righteousness and a self absorbing sense of ego leads one to isolation and a perpetual nonexistence.  Being present, engaged and invested are exchanged for absence, disconnection and apathy.  

With renewed vision and a truer recognition of this existence  born of His grace, that blindness gives way to an awareness of life and all it is meant to be.  That loop born of His mercy for you  is such that when you witness and receive  it for yourself, you cannot help but to embrace the thoughts, words and deeds that can be freely given to those around you, so they might too  live it for themselves.  

Given the circumstances of the author of this replenishing hymn and that of the author of this post, we can all enslave others or enslave ourselves by and through sin.  No matter our origin, that we all share in common.  That is what gives us our original nature.

And as such, He encircles us with true redemption through grace in a heavenly embrace.  A gift that once received that is intended to be given back.  Not in terms of or in the form of a transaction. But just as freely as we ourselves were compensated as such. As a gift.

So that we all may know the sweetness of its sound.  And follow its path leading our way back into His light.  

Was truly blind.  

But now?

I see.  

That of life.

I have long contended that football is the game of life.  Being a player, like all of you, I am familiar with the challenges, discomfort and anxiety that can come with it.  

The challenges of overcoming an opponent or task bigger than you think are. The discomfort that comes along with such a seemingly endless physical, mental and emotional effort whether it be practice or game.  And the anxiety that accompanies not knowing the exact outcome of your work, being unsure you are doing it exactly right, fearing you are not enough and God forbid, you make a mistake. 

Speaking from a common experience, if you play football, you are already living outside of your comfort zone.  In football terms being a resident of the O-Line, some of you are at the first level.  Others have moved towards the second.  Still fewer, the third.  And yet to be conquered, is the 4th level.  

On extremely rare occasions can one go from one to four.  That’s like a lottery ticket.  Perhaps you can get to level three from one, if things are just right.  But more often than not, you cannot skip steps, avoid work and wish your way into achievement.  You need to work your way up and through each one to reach level four.  The end zone.

You see, if you want to achieve the things you truly value and aspire to, you have to get used to being uncomfortable.  Not just in the fall.  But the year round.  You have to commit and fully invest in embracing that sense of being challenged, some sense of discomfort and the anxiety that may accompany being unsure what is going to happen.  

Again, speaking as a football player like you, living out of your comfort zone turns out to be the best place you can be.  It promotes growth, confidence, perseverance, faith  and a chance to become all you were meant to be.  Whether it is school, your first job, college or pursuing your passion, you cannot go from level one to four.  You must find work and make your way up that field, whatever it is.

Doing the things that ultimately take you to life’s end zone.  

So that being said, let me offer a challenge.  

For whatever reason, this one play causes a great deal of angst and worry.  Most likely because it doesn’t give you a definitive assignment like the other plays.  It just calls on you to all move towards the play as one, sealing off the LOS and moving to the second level. Vague I know.  But you run it to perfection against cans in practice.  But against bodies, you shrink, second guess and cringe about making a mistake.  

How about getting out of your comfort zone on this one?  

Better yet, get out of it for the whole game. 

Embrace the challenges, discomfort and anxiety.  I bet you will find that endzone more than a couple of times in those four quarters.  And when all is said and done, you will know that you gave it your all no matter what.  That in itself counts as a win.  

Stands to reason you could go 2-0 on Friday then. 

And keep the winning streak alive in the weeks, months and years to come if you learn the value of being uncomfortable. 

Think about it. 

As you work your way towards another end zone. 

That of life.