Tag Archives: life

Fate chose my destiny.

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Daily writing prompt
Do you believe in fate/destiny?
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I do not believe in them per se.

So much of life just comes down to the choices we make.

Free will if you like.

How you choose to exercise that gift tends to produce those overtly or covertly calculated results. Things which are done with intention, whether honestly acknowledged and accepted or dishonestly ignored and hidden, tend to yield precisely what was fated to be. It might be things that lead you to an outcome that may have been expected. On the other hand, it might be a response to an outcome that takes things down an altogether different path.

Like I said yesterday at the onset of my prior post, I am speaking of me. This comes out of my dented noggin from the singular “I” perspective. And when “you” gets added into my word salad, that is meant to be from the Mark perspective. Not you. I have no desire to return to that pulpit. Over stayed my welcome and singlehandedly created more alienation in my life than O’Bannon and Shusett combined. I chose my fate in many areas of life.

“Uncle”.

There, that is some of the fate of my design in a nutshell.

Then, there is destiny.

Not gonna call it fate’s sibling. More so a very distant cousin. Part of the family, but going back to quite some time ago. Unlike fate, which can largely be your design, destiny is something born of another one. By design, meant to bring good, purpose, fulfillment, joy, connection, love, and life. Among other things.

I think in the former, I created the design, created the plan and pretty much brought things down around me. Choices I made determined my fate. And if I made similar choices on how to respond to those circumstances, the self-destruction escalated.

But because the latter – destiny – is provided by a much older and wiser pillar of the family, it will encourage a more patient, foundational and divine journey to what you were meant to be. That is, if you can listen, accept and trust in it.

Yet in both instances, that one wrench remains as the constant. Dating all the way back to that garden.

Free will.

I cannot say it is mine, but dispatching the tendency to call it how I saw it and wanted it sure as heck changed the tenor of my life. Perhaps it was my fate to finally acknowledge that I did not know it all and needed someone else to show me the best way possible. It was destiny that called me to just let go.

Fate chose my destiny.

Clothing need not ever be optional.

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Who are your favorite people to be around?
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For reasons that are still being divined, just having people around me tends to run on the low side. Very low. Qualify that aggregation with “favorite” and that quantity begins to fall away even more.

Perhaps it just took me a while to figure out this most crucial aspect of living. A long while. Like until my mid sixties. But favorites? Yes. I have mine. While I won’t offer any names at this point, I will share what makes them so.

And it brings a smile to this German puss to be able to say that number is growing. Not by any means in leaps and bounds. More like baby steps. About the same gait as my new grandson. But progress all the same. By the time he hits two, I will be swimming in fav’s.

Being encased in my stoic exterior 24/7/365 can appear scary from the exterior I am told. But those with the veneer penetrating gaze and a “who gives a flip I am trying anyways” attitude find it unintimidating to actually get me to smile. I love to engage with others in a genuinely open, and of late, more honest and vulnerable fashion. Far deeper than the weather, dad jokes or work and working out stories.

I want to share truths and deceits, affirmations and abandonments, aspirations and the abyss, lonlieness and love, fear and faith.

Because of this, a gathering of this nature tends to be very minute. But moments with them provide a magnitude of joy rarely known in these parts. That too is changing. And makes me want to be more diligent in offering a smile and as many words I can muster.

My best friend and I have a term we use to describe this kind of vulnerable openess.

We refer to this as being totally naked.

Exposing everything there is about you to another and having them return the favor by doing the same.

In these circumstances, nothing is ever questioned, judged, diminished, shamed or regarded as a flaw. It just is.

One will be speaking their truth. The other one will be truly listening. And when that time comes and the roles begin to reverse, nothing ever changes. It can all come out. It is all received.

Anyone willing to be naked with me in this fashion are by far my favorite people to be around. And always will be.

Clothing need not ever be optional.

In the best field ever.

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Daily writing prompt
Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.
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There are three in all honesty.

Back in the day, I wore low cut, screw on, imported kangaroo hide cleats. Very soft. Cannot recall the make to be honest. Maybe Adidas? Wearing them, I was blessed to play in one of the oldest highschool football rivalries in Illinois, dating back to the 40’s, for the Old Oaken Bucket. No, I wasn’t playing in the 40’s. Sure feels like it now though.

Then onto college ball. These size 12’s may have even been my carry overs from high school. They felt like gloves on the tootsies. I wore them far beyond their shelf life. Copious amounts of tape had to be applied as they neared retirement. Huh. Sounds familiar.

This trot to the line of scrimmage was on a Saturday afternoon in what was then called the Knox Bowl, in Galesburg. It was an offensive series during our upset win over Monmouth to regain the vaunted Bronze Turkey. A battle regarded as one of the oldest college football rivalries west of the Alleghenies. Perfect timing for Thanksgiving break.

Here they are one last time before the start of my final season playing, ever, in 1980.

Then as life moved on, and kids came into my life, I had the opportunity to coach them all in soccer, baseball, softball and football. I stayed in my field after coaching my sons and have been there ever since. Youth, highschool, a year of college, then back to high school. As you can tell, a little more support was needed to keep this old horse moving.

And now that my days wearing my low cut, screw on, imported kangaroo hide cleats have caught up to me, my field shoes these days are more of the low cut, slide on, fabric of the day, extra cushy variety.

My field has grown since those days as a Red Devil and Siwash.

I still manage to put on the whistle for the best three months of the year, now in Jackson.

But I also coach those with diverse abilities in an effort to find their field of life too.

No whistle needed there.

Just lots of patience.

Love.

And hugs.

In the best field ever.

And so it will be written.

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Daily writing prompt
If there were a biography about you, what would the title be?
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Boy, this really made me think.

Someone would actually commit themselves to writing my life story. I haven’t been as committed as I should to writing my own. And someone wants that chore? Yikes.

I don’t know how you would combine comedy/horror/drama into one word. Comorrama?

To be honest, Folgers made things percolate a little and brewed up a couple of ideas.

“W.I.P.” That pretty much sets the tone.

Or maybe “Unfinished.”

“What were you thinking?” And should they have the wherewithal to write a sequel, “Or not.”

First, being considered as a potential subject for a biography is tough to grasp. I spent much of my life setting myself apart from others in self destructive manners. That being said, I am not really keen on having that bound between two hard covers so that I can stand out, alone, on some shelf. Had enough of solitary confinement, thank you.

I get that sharing trials and tribulations via the written word may help others to finally see theirs too. But those words cannot just sit, they need to find their way out. I already work on that by other means and ways. Publication is not needed for that venture. Just being fully in the moment with others is.

And what tends to come out when I do this is what should be seen in others. Not because I say so, but simply because it is, and for some reason, it just gets overlooked. That one I have practiced to perfection. Not knowing what it is I have, can be or to the point – am. So I am not sure how that is translated biographically.

I guess that is what first started as motivational tomes for student-athletes has morphed into mostly just insights into the things I finally sense, see and hear. You can start out one way, but if you are open to change, growth and actually living, then good things happen. What you were meant to be comes into view, and that is simply where you want to go.

So a hundred or so words later, still no clue what a biography about me might be called. If I were allowed to bend the rules a smidge, I could go the autobiographical route. Then, “…my temporary assignment” works just fine.

And so it will be written.

Time part 4.

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Back in the day, I shared thoughts with kids in our community youth football program. Things stated and modeled at practice that were worthy of reiteration in written form. One of the formats I used was called “Ten Thoughts”.

After my post this morning, the top two from this set dating back to 2014 jumped out at me.

Time – THE most precious resource you will ever possess.  And if you are not careful in how you use it – it can come to possess you. It is something only to be spent – and despite your efforts otherwise – it proves very difficult to bank.   What you get – is what you get. There is no better time than “now”. So always “be” where you are.  And make the absolute most of your treasured allotment.   

    Time part 2 – sometimes, “things” need to happen on their own time. This has nothing to do with the alignment of stars and planets, destiny or fate. Just how life goes. You might want, work and dream for something in the worst way. Your committed effort might make it happen.  But then again – it might not. When it doesn’t, there is still something of value to be taken from the experience. Learning to persevere  and have faith to name the top two. It all matters.  It all means something. As Tom Petty once said “the waiting is the hardest part.” Yes it is. But one thing is for certain.  Even in the waiting, you are being made ready for something even better. 

    After reading the top two, I would like to share this addition:

    Time part 3 – being somewhere other than right here, right now can become suffocating. Attempting to change what has already been enacted or planning out a reaction to something that has yet to happen can suck the life right out of you.

    The past is meant to be a learning experience, providing you with the wisdom to pursue a path towards greater affirmation. Or, if ego makes itself king, the lesson will be ignored and defeat will become repetitive.

    The future is meant to be embraced as you have made yourself to hold it, but only if and when it happens. Not before. A lack of preparation and presence will leave you stranded from opportunity and fulfillment. You have to be there to “be” then.

    Being present brings with it peace and serenity. Life.

    And joy.

    Perhaps this will someday become another addition.

    Time part 4.