Tag Archives: life

Ever.

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Daily writing prompt
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
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Actually, there have been several of late.

Getting hugs from the young men I coached in football this fall before their wrestling meet last night.

Laying on the floor with my grandson, he crawls over, looks at me and gives me a head bump with his baby noggin. And then just holds it there.

Stopping over to meet my newest granddaughter for the first time, and having my son open the door with her in his arms and ask, “…so you want to hold her?”

Hearing from my buddies from highschool.

Dancing like a couple of dorks in the kitchen with my best friend.

Coming across friends that just listen and support. No matter what.

I think I get too focused on making it an event instead of just being fully in the moment. Making it into something is a distraction, essentially pulling you away from the bond of that instant. Just being all in, right there, makes all the difference in your life.

To take it one step further, I know shocking and totally out of character, connect the dots back to where it all started. For reasons yet to be understood, sometimes you just don’t truly understand your own value, worth and impact. That can become quite the obstacle, acting to ensnare you into bad choices, demeaning behaviors and dangerous directions.

Then those small moments happen. Somehow right when you could use it. Maybe you don’t realize you do, but they present themselves as a gift. And if you stay right where you are and accept it with an attitude of gratitude, some of the weight and worry come off, replaced with a warm sense of wonder.

You know what they say about coincidence, right?

He knows exactly what you need. When you need it most. If you can fully stay in that moment, you will feel what has been lacking. A true sense of worth and value in a way that casts an impression that remains forever. You will want more.

Some of the best examples of being loved.

Ever.

The clutter of joy.

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Daily writing prompt
Where can you reduce clutter in your life?
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….how many gigs do I have for this one?

I have bins of old clothes and such that are in the next phase of their trip to Goodwill. There are pictures that will never be hung again, so they can can be disassembled, the frames going with the clothes to GW and the photos being filed away. Some personal collateral needs one final encounter, then needs to either stay or go. After that, not much to be honest. Don’t really have that much.

While the physical things have been contained in about six or so bins, the most prevalent resting places for true life clutter are not consigned to the basement storage area. The things I once collected are what has been left behind and what is just not here yet.

You can decide to shred the old letters, college papers, credit card records and the like and use it to fuel the fire pit. But the mistakes, poor judgement, character flaws and ego won’t fit into one. Perhaps a compactor, or a roll off dumpster. Or two to start in my case. That collection just needs to be let go of, allowed to evaporate into the ether.

The disorder that has yet to arrive, wishes written on a “to do” or kept in a “bucket” list can become just as distracting as those left behind. Taking you away from where you are, what you need to do, how you need to improve and why you need to change things up. That assortment can collide with recollections of the mistakes, poor judgement and the like, confirming the ill will that has come to clutter your view of your true self. Talk about a mess.

And yet if you stay where you are, fully in this moment, you will come to accumulate some amazing things. Peace and serenity for one. A sense that this is just where I need to be right now, totally engaged in the here and now. You will accumulate well being. Belonging. A sense of self. And most of all, joy.

As that collection begins to grow, you will better understand how those of the past needed to be experienced and endured to bring you here. And fundamental aspects of things not yet here will become known so that what you choose to do now eventually takes you there.

Firmly ensconced in the present, you will begin to accumulate the things of a life well lived.

The clutter of joy.

We seem to be together.

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Daily writing prompt
In what ways do you communicate online?
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Back in the day, I used to frequent some social media sites. For the most part, I viewed it as an avenue to coach up student athletes away from the field. As life evolved, that went away, and business centered sites became prevalent as a way to communicate ideas. That has since been hibernated.

This platform has been pretty much a constant in my life and will remain so far as I know. Emails are “ok” for work, but nothing will ever beat a voice on the phone or a face to face somewhere, some time with some body. I think that is what appeals to me about being here, with you all now, on line.

We seem to be together.

I can sit in the kitchen, wearing shorts and a warm beanie, look out the window and watch Chris and Rich hop around the yard hunting for scraps, chat about the daily prompt or whatever else works its way into my bald noggin. As close as I am likely to get to having a sit down with each of you. You would prolly want to bring your own coffee. Mine isn’t to die for, but to die because of.

Letters remain the best way to connect. Nothing will ever beat a hand written note to another. They aren’t tucked away in some e-file, folder or drive. They get opened, read, and tucked away in a drawer that is entered and exited every day. There is great joy to be found in sharing yourself with others in that fashion. A part of you is left in the ink on that page, in that envelope.

Since I became acquainted with expressing myself here, it seems to be the closest thing I found to pen and paper. Not ever a replacement. But a genuine source of warmth and connection. Hopefully for the reader. Definitely for this writer. Despite the miles and time zones, one thing is for sure.

We seem to be together.

My temporary assignment.

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Daily writing prompt
What is your mission?
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One of the most precious aspects of this “congregation”, so to speak, is that we all simply get to share. To delve into what is happening between the ears and pur out some of what is swelling within our hearts. Nothing is dictated. No expectation. Rules? Guidelines? KPI’s?

Nope.

Just being ourselves, wherever that happens to be in the process. Sharing. Not telling, Advising. Stating. Laying out. Instructing. Simply sharing bits and pieces of ourselves to all that is willing to hear, read and feel. “Prompt” has its own sense and level of urgency tied to it. Not so much, “hey, get off your ass and get going here Hahn!” But a more subtle, “you know, you find writing affirming , fulfilling and just plain old fun, so you should set aside a moment or two to just be, Hahn.”

All of which fits into the mission. I will phrase it that way for now as that is more honest than claiming ownership of this venture. It is more so a way forward that was offered by another. It is just that I neglected to hear what was being said and see what I was being shown.

Initially, my mission was one of self destruction masked by the guise of self determination. Knowing all, showing all, telling all and being all to “all” is how I went about “life”, if you want to call it that. Perhaps on a technicality. Being friends, I can share this part of me with you now.

The faux sense of self determination was born not of self knowledge, but more so of selflessness. Without a true estimation of one’s value, abided by low self esteem, reinforced by a pervasive sense of shame, my mission was to please those around me. When I first discovered this, resentment – focused on those that couldn’t appreciate what I “had” – sank in and took control.

Upon deeper discernment and reflection, a revelation of sorts made its presence known. Looking back on it, maybe “presents” – like Mr. Keane suggested – is more appropriate. Because what I came to understand unwrapped an ongoing stream of gifts. The ultimate realization that I sought others, relationships and life on the basis of having those experiences confirm my complete self unawareness has provided me with the foundation for an entirely different mission.

It’s about time.

Not that traveling this new territory doesn’t come with its share of anxiety, doubts and plain old fear. But it surrounds me with an all encompassing sense of peace and serenity. I can control things in my grasp, like how I react and respond to situations and instances. If I choose to get into disputes. Tell someone what they “need” to do because, you know, I have proven myself as an authority about life. I can engage with everyone around me, or just smile and move on to my next activity.

Each day reveals another aspect of me that had been cordoned off and unseen for much of my life. The chances I take now are to listen more and choose my words and timing thereof with their feelings being the center of my concern. Carrying around the weight of all those disappointments, regrets and failures is no longer an aspect of my fitness routine. Finally, I can start to utter the phrase, “you aren’t such a bad man after all, Hahn.”

That being said, for better of for worse, my mission got me to this point. Now that I have come to the conclusion that I desperately need to contract out any updates or new versions of my true vocation, He will be taking the reins.

It wasn’t really my mission all along. I just thought it was. Now, looking back, it has always been His. I just needed to figure that out and let go so I could get after it.

My temporary assignment.

And it is gonna be great.

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Daily writing prompt
What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?
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Longevity ebbs and flows in my family. I remember my grandpa driving at 97, before he thought Uber was a better mode of transport. Well, maybe not Uber, but “Uncle”. Then there is my younger brother that just passed two years ago.

So it is what it is.

As far as I am concerned, for the purposes of today’s assignment, it comes down to being fully intentional about making the most of what you have been gifted.

Experience tells me that allocating the precious resources granted for this moment towards resentment, regret and retribution of the past is not what it is cracked up to be. Then, if you embark in advance of the here and now predicated on the approach of, “…that didn’t work, so I will cut this corner and use that short cut this time sround”, you pretty much added to an already sorrowful past.

The past is what it was. The future is what it may be. The present is just that, a present like Mr. Keane said a few days ago. That being said, I have no clue as to what living a long life is to me. If I can make the most out of every hour of every day going forward, then that will elongate my stay here.

When it comes time to give my notice, my only desire is that I can rest in peace knowing I gave it my everything. We are all gifted this position here on earth. Toiling in the dirt and debris of the past or buzzing about in the ether of the future would make me a worm or a fly. Nothing against them, but I like to think my focus needs to be on living life, not looking for feces.

So perhaps my longevity ends up somewhere between my grandpa and my brother. So be it.

Whatever the case, I have a lot to do today.

And it is gonna be great.