Tag Archives: life

Or you.

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Doing my best isn’t about some personal quest for perfection. That has absolutely nothing to do with this particular lesson.

Doing my best is the debt that I owe to others first, and to myself, second.

By doing my absolute best, I am showing others how much I value them; how much I love them. I am telling them in no uncertain terms that “you deserve the absolute best of me”.

You shouldn’t ever get this confused with commerce. For doing your best for others isn’t an interpersonal transaction; a “quid pro quo”. Giving others your best is never about expecting to get or getting anything in return. Giving your best to others is what you are made to do. It is the right thing to do, both for them and for you.

In doing my absolute best, I am also confirming the level of my own personal standards. It is a way of affirming what I know to be true; that I am meant to be extraordinary. The best possible version of myself. 

By making a personal commitment to do my absolute best, I can be at peace with my effort; win or lose, succeed or fail. I can “look in the mirror” and see someone I respect for giving it their best. 

By no means does this mean that I have to like the outcome. If I don’t, then I just need to work harder to do my best next time.It serves to reinforce in my heart, that my effort was the best I had to offer, when I needed to offer it.

The value of doing your best has ramifications far beyond the immediate. It sets the tone going forward, becoming synonymous with your name and your character. It precedes you everywhere you go.

By doing your best, you help ”coach up” others to aspire to always do their best. In the process, you learn what it takes to live and breathe that mindset. You gain a level of comfort operating within a personal universe marked by high expectations, dedicated to striving for optimal performance and pursuing excellence.

Once you get there, you wouldn’t want it any other way.

For them. 

Or you.

Harmony

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“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state…Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”

― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

So I do find a great deal of validity in the words of Mr. Allen.  

Though he speaks primarily from the first person perspective, there is an element of the Third person in all he says.  He does seem to speak through Him to us  even when he or we do not realize it.  But I digress… 

We are only able to attract what we want, through what we are. 

If we fail from a character sense, make poor choices, lay blame on others, the  world around us and pretend to be something we were never intended to be, we will attract similar beings, situations and reality.  All because we choose to settle.  Assume a convenient path.  What  makes things comfy.  And all that enables us to avoid the truth.  By being that which we are. 

But then again, what about the impact of making good choices despite the push back from your past, others and the expectations of the herd?  Or the effect of accepting responsibility, holding oneself accountable and ignoring the opinion of the masses?  Choosing to accept what you know  to be true about yourself regardless of conventional wisdom?  And pursuing a path not less chosen but never attempted  by you?  Again, being what you are.

If you choose the latter, you WILL attract the forces of affirmation and what it is you wanty.  You will become what you are, because you have fully acknowledged yourself, discerned how you can grow into that being  and see where all of those difficult choices will ultimately take you. 

We can only attract what we see in ourselves.  To that I can attest. 

So hear what the wise old mooses have to share.  

 Lean into  what you know to be your truth regardless of the cost. 

Embrace the challenge. 

Push forward. 

Be all that which you are. 

Then see what comes your way. 

Harmony.

“anonymous”

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If I may beg your indulgence a bit, I have a love story of sorts.  Inspired in part by “anonymous”.

If you love the game:

     “…then life truly began when the season started.”  

Team dinners are the best sit down meal of the week.  

Hudl is your preferred form of social media

Bruises are your favorite fall colors

Wearing white to out of town events is still permissible after Labor Day

Tape has become your socks 

You accessorize with ice packs

Eye black brings out your cheekbones

And the hitch in your giddy-up later in life is still your source of pride and joy. 

If you love the game:

Having the opportunity to practice the day after a game is as big a deal as playing under the lights on Friday nights.  

Scout team is the ideal way to contribute. A golden opportunity to make the team maximize its potential and achieve its goals. 

A role on special teams may be your ticket to change the course of a game – or season – through superlative effort and will. 

If you love the game:

Then no matter what – A or B, JV or reserve, starter, or finish out the rout – “just get me on that field. “

Being wedded to a position will never supplant being bonded to a unit or the team.

Still being there for them though hurt casts a lasting impression.  

You can’t be hung up on the division.  Just play on in college.  

If you love the game: 

Embrace the blessings and needs of being a member of a large, multigenerational, extended family 

Depend upon the friends you found in the weight room, during speed and agility, at morning misery, during two a days, and with your back to the goal line.  

They are here for you now – and most likely will be later on in life. 

If you love the game: 

Stop an errant “brother”, diffuse a bad situation, console a friend in need, and raise another up even if you are down.

Invest.  Time given freely to another is a precious gift. 

Smile the most when accolades and attention for your team and teammates are delivered.   

Be humble; you are but one in a long line of fine athletes that came before – and will follow you. 

Commit.  Relentless effort, stellar character and extraordinary leadership regardless of your role is the best way to honor that big family.

If you love the game: 

Honor all of this for what it truly is; a rare and fleeting privilege.

Lean in.  A challenge of this magnitude – to work harder than you ever have at something, and then, work even harder than that  – is an extraordinary opportunity.  One that needs to be accepted with genuine and lasting gratitude.

Let go.  Giving up all of you for something bigger is a life-changing event.

If you love the game: 

Trust.  That all of them will honor the sacrifices you make on their behalf in kind. 

Respect.  Everyone has something in them that can make this team like no other – before or after. 

Affirm.  Prove their genuine worth to you through your thoughts, words and deeds. 

 Be accountable.  Yes, to the ones with the whistles.  

But more so to your partner in the weight room.  Those sharing morning misery. The one next to you on the bus.  Your teammates doing up-downs.  Your unit when you huddle.  The three-tech on the line of scrimmage.  And that guy next to you right here, right now.  

If you love the game: 

Make it about all of them by leaving all of you on that field.  

Because if you can love the game this much, then because of you, they will love the game too. 

Thanks for the inspiration,  “Anonymous”

I love it.

There.

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Being fully present entails a great many responsibilities.  

But first and foremost, it all comes down to the need to just be “there”.  

Right where you are in every aspect of the word. Physically, mentally, spiritually  and emotionally.  So you can make the most of the “now.”  By being “all in”  Leaning into and embracing this one of a kind moment. 

And yet, there is always this sense that runs  in parallel to the need for presence. A pressing need to know who you are, what you can become and where you are going now.  Because at the end of the day, if you are only where you are now but simply cannot conceive what that means in the bigger, deeper and longer scheme of things that are yet to come, then, for all practical purposes, you are not truly, “there”.

Much of this has to do with age and experience. But when one does not have the benefit of those blessings, they may find themselves lacking in an understanding or appreciation for what is truly happening at this moment.  And by extension their friends. Siblings. Teammates.  A program.  A company.   Or  the community as a whole.  

So think about it.

“See ” what it is that you currently “are”.  Then envision what you are now in the process of becoming.  Bring all of the essentials everyday. In terms of energy, focus, presence and commitment. 

Not for me. 

But for you. 

Never once has this been phrased so anyone could achieve their corporate goals.  

But only so you could become what you are meant to be.  

We “coaches”  – regardless of the uniform/company/station – are not in it to win a moment.  A quarter. A budget.  Or a year.

We are in it to get you to relish all those moments now so you are ready for those that you are working towards.. Whether  individuals.  Units. Teams. Company. Or community..  

Hear what it is that we are truly saying.   

Conceive of what that means in the bigger, deeper and longer scheme of things that are yet to come. 

So you can go beyond throwing out some arcane/trendy/juvenile response.

And truly just simply be “there”.

PF

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One of the most influential mentors in my life is Pastor Ellsworth Freyer. “PF” to those close to him.  “Coach” to me.  I was blessed to be  one of many he coached throughout his life as a man of the cloth.  He coached me to coach.  To mentor. Serve others.  And write. 

When I would run into writer’s block penning some words of encouragement to those I served, he would reach out and share some of his words of wisdom.  The most inspiring were found in his motivational pieces, he called “Power Thoughts”.  Aptly named.  I happened upon this one tonight (in 2017):   

“One of the most sobering thoughts I have ever been confronted with  is this: ‘What you are someday going to be, you are now becoming.’ 

Right at this very moment in time, you are exactly what you have been in the process of becoming – all your life. 

So?  Are you the person you dreamed of becoming? 

How close are you to becoming the type of person you want to be? 

Even right now, you are in the process of becoming the person you will be in an hour.  In a day. Next month.  The coming year. In two, five or in a decade.  

And the habits?  Those  you have now – and will begin to acquire and accumulate – determine the person you will eventually, someday, become. 

If you are not now doing the things that you need to do, to become what you want to be, what makes you believe that you ever will? 

What is preventing you from becoming that person? The one you want to become? 

It is incumbent upon you to choose to begin now. 

Situations or circumstances should never determine the when, if or how you begin. 

So? 

Just begin.  And begin right now. 

For what you are now becoming, is what you will someday be.”