Tag: spirituality

But I digress…

A very compelling question to begin the day.

There are a number of those that have cast an impression upon me, in their way, ultimately soliciting a positive outcome in my life. Some are instantaneous in nature, sort of a spontaneous combustion event. While there are those that were merely planted, left and took months, years or decades to germinate and come to fruition.

Moments, interactions and relationships can assume an identity all their own, playing out a role that may not be readily apparent. There are those that bring with them an open and genuine level of honesty and positivity. Meant for one’s immediate care and benefit. Delivered with complete integrity, humility and a love born of servanthood to all those in need.

The impact of those interactions are immediately apparent. And I can name many that were there in that fashion, precisely when I desperately needed it.

One in particular was so in tune with my wellbeing, that he somehow called me, out of the blue, precisely during one of my worst moments, simply because he wanted me to know that he was there for me. No matter what. To this day, I remain touched by this level of loving care. The fact that I just shared this event with all of you brings tears to my eyes, despite the fact it happened well over a decade ago.

Then, there are those lessons one encounters that begin more with a somewhat arbitrary sense of conviction and desire, because its “how I did it and it works, so you should do it too.” Born more of convention or convenience. Just because. And depending on the current circumstances in one’s life, one might be more apt to surrender a bit oneself to become like them. Join the clique. Be a member of the “team”.

At first, things may reap the rewards yearned for, creating a false sense of “I made it.” But as the cost to your true being is accounted for, things slip away and you can descend into realms that taint, harm and destroy. There might be ways to assuage this sense of loss and losing recognition of who it is you were to start. But ultimately, it becomes a lesson of redemption and rebirth. An interaction that cast a cloud of negativity over you and your life. But ultimately, in the final analysis, led you to where you were meant to be.

Just as I am indebted to those who have touched my soul in ways I never imagined, I too am grateful that others have led me to tough lessons in self realization and affirmation. Perhaps they were never intended to be how I accepted them. But despite the negative origins, they too became a positive and lasting influence on me. And to those men, I am also grateful for being a part of my journey.

I tend to digress once pen is in hand. But with regard to the basis of the prompt, “describe a man who has positively impacted your life”, without a doubt, he would be Him. God.

It was He that suggested that many fellow coach should call precisely when I needed to hear his voice and feel his love. And it was He that allowed me to exercise my free will, albeit poor in execution, while remaining right next to me as I rebuilt and found my true way forward in life. He brought all those other men in and out of my life, when they were needed, then not, so that I could finally find this man.

The one sharing this prompt on one of the best days ever.

According to His plan.

But I digress…

Only if you sing your song.

Daily writing prompt
Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
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Well, my stage career began and ended with Mr. Tantillo’s 7th & 8th grade Barbershop Music classes at the Hinsdale Junior High School, about 1972 or 3 BC. I had the fortune of singing lead in a quartet that travelled as far as Milwaukee, to share “My Wild Irish Rose” when our turn came up during the program.

Heading out on that proverbial limb, I think it was Russ that sang bass, Mike that was our baritone, and the tenor’s name? Escapes me for now. But when I remember it at 1:43 AM, I will add it in. We usually concluded our concerts with “Good-bye My Coney Island Baby”. Upon retirement when I graduated from junior high, my singing moments were reserved for “Rosalita” in college and are now preserved in the friendly confines of my car with my friends at WXRT or the Drive.

However, since then, I have also been blessed with opportunities to create some of my own melodies in public speaking around the community. My involvement in football as a player and now a coach has afforded me chances to speak to players whether on the field at practice or at other events, share my thoughts with the staff, players and families at weekly high school team dinners and teach coaching concepts at football clinics around the state.

I also became a guest lecturer at a near by college and through my involvement as a mentor for the local Boy Scout troops, provide the earned accolades for soaring as an Eagle at their court of honor. Of late, I have had the chance to share a daily devotional with my new team and explore the spiritual essence of other readings with another close coaching friend of mine.

These daily prompts are such a treasure. They reveal things to me I just did not even consider.

Singing was scary to start. Being out in front of many with three others carrying a tune. But now that I look back, it was a sorely needed source of joy for a young man that pretty much kept to himself. Since some arbitrary test I took in grade school disqualified me from learning an instrument, having the opportunity to just sing was a Godsend. A way to express a passion I had for music. Apart from laying on the living room floor next to the RCA console, reading liner notes and playing records at “11”. Not sure what led me to neglect that path once I went into highschool. Maybe it was football that took front and center.

So the melody I have been able to share in public speaking shares the same source of passion. To articulate feelings, sensations and hopes through words. Not telling anyone what to do or how to do it. But moreso what is to be gained if you surrender yourself to that undertaking without regret. The memories it will create within those moments and for the rest of your life. How fulfilling just leaving it all out there, regardless of the outcome, can be. And is.

And when you can connect with another or others within a sea of faces and lives, you just know it.

The eye contact. The body language. The expression. You sense their presence in your melody. And within you. A feeling of connection and intimacy that just escapes description.

Exactly why you just need to leave it all out there, surrender and dismiss the possibility of regret.

How fulfilling that can and always will be.

Only if you sing your song.

Sure am glad I did.

It is comforting how the gospels and the reflections offered reflect the present moment and circumstance. Perhaps there are days when they require a deeper level of discernment. But then again, they can appear on the marquis, lights ablaze, drawing one to step in and see what it is He is showing.

Bishop Barron as a wonderful way of cutting to the chase. Breaking down thoughts and words conceptualized and spoken hundreds, if not thousands of years ago, into the raw essence of their devotional meaning. Truly a gift in my estimation in that things can become obscured from their honest intention, whether by accident or design.

Today, we are called to change our hearts and behaviors.

As the Bishop so shared: “St. Augustine defines sin as incurvatus in se—that means ‘caved in around oneself.’ To be in sin is to be ‘caved in’ around the ego and its narrow concerns.” I then went a little further and found “incurvatus in se” referred to as being “curved in on oneself”. Being self-absorbed to the extent that focus, desire and effort is consumed entirely to the benefit of oneself, to the abandonment of others.

Speaking from experience, a level of this degree of self-absorption can lead to a wide and debilitating array of negative consequences. Among them perpetual, scathing self-analysis, life-long score-keeping, an affinity and affection for deception and additional, destructive modes of ensuring a gathering isolation. Upon some ongoing, in depth discernment, discussion and reflection, I can say for certain, that being “caved in” or “curved in on one self” hits the nail on the head.

So following the Latin route given to me today, a better path would be “excurvatus ex se”. In other words, approaching life curved outward. With an open, honest and receptive focus on others and God. Ceding that quest for internal control brings with it serenity and genuine peace. Something that can create a level of affirmation never quite known before.

With that newfound perspective comes that same wish for others.

Not born of the self absorbed confines of an incurvatus ego and judgement. But rather a true outward excurvatus perspective of what it is really all about; others.

Not because I say so.

But simply because it is.

Took me quite a while to finally get geometry.

Sure am glad I did.

And life.

“You don’t think your way into a new kind of living. You live your way into a new kind of thinking.”
― Henry Nouwen

Though all is contained in one collective space, the mind, heart, body and soul can vie for preeminence over each other or become independent of one another. At least that has been my experience.

The mind has its intnetions in the right place, but yet, if it cannot interconnect with its teammates, there will be little if any change in course. It can generate great ideas and stimulate a new vision, but if the heart doesn’t buy into it and the spirit is not willing, well, you know how the state of the flesh.

Talking oneself out of great beginnings has been one of this author’s highest acheivements. The sensation is akin to rolling oneself out of a deep snow drift. Rev it up, rock it back, rev it up more, rock it back. You get the gist. Laying out vast schematics within your mind as to why things just won’t work the way you wish. Then avoiding the revision that points out the straightest path.

All the while, your heart retains an unfulfilled emptiness, your soul untested and a body stuck in an idle neutral.

Yet, if you overcome the urge to reinvent and rationalize, and to paraphrase, “do it”, then all heck breaks loose. The heart begins to engage and fill with a sense of joy brought on by the actions. Your soul begins to align and see an incumbent purpose in the undertaking. Your body generates an energy and momentum to carry moment and those to come. And your mind, quips, “why didn’t I think of this?”

When all four work in concert, they collaborate not just to maintain but to elevate their game. Rallying to overcome adversity and challenges that may attack a specific aspect of your being by acting as one. Smarter overcomes harder. Joy inundates sorrows. Purpose replaces purposeless. And a new found stamina energizes the entire enterprise.

Thinking about it does have its place. But that may only serve to restrict you to a highly confined area. Living it invites you to an ever sprawling world. Embracing all there is about you. Open to adventure. Learning. Growth. Connection. Purpose.

And life.

Harmony

“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state…Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”

― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

So I do find a great deal of validity in the words of Mr. Allen.  

Though he speaks primarily from the first person perspective, there is an element of the Third person in all he says.  He does seem to speak through Him to us  even when he or we do not realize it.  But I digress… 

We are only able to attract what we want, through what we are. 

If we fail from a character sense, make poor choices, lay blame on others, the  world around us and pretend to be something we were never intended to be, we will attract similar beings, situations and reality.  All because we choose to settle.  Assume a convenient path.  What  makes things comfy.  And all that enables us to avoid the truth.  By being that which we are. 

But then again, what about the impact of making good choices despite the push back from your past, others and the expectations of the herd?  Or the effect of accepting responsibility, holding oneself accountable and ignoring the opinion of the masses?  Choosing to accept what you know  to be true about yourself regardless of conventional wisdom?  And pursuing a path not less chosen but never attempted  by you?  Again, being what you are.

If you choose the latter, you WILL attract the forces of affirmation and what it is you wanty.  You will become what you are, because you have fully acknowledged yourself, discerned how you can grow into that being  and see where all of those difficult choices will ultimately take you. 

We can only attract what we see in ourselves.  To that I can attest. 

So hear what the wise old mooses have to share.  

 Lean into  what you know to be your truth regardless of the cost. 

Embrace the challenge. 

Push forward. 

Be all that which you are. 

Then see what comes your way. 

Harmony.