Tag Archives: god

“I love you”

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Daily writing prompt
If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?
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Once I embarked on my journey towards faith, two things were revealed. One, that the story would remain a constant, following a path that shared the seasons. This brings with it a sense of peace and serenity, knowing the way. But more stunning to me is the fact that along each step of the way, I become aware of something new, different and touching.

Perhaps it is how the story is told, through a multitude of voices, perspectives and experiences that provides greater impact and deeper meaning. Add to that the fact that the moments and revelations shared were not of this century, the prior, or even millenia. They were uttered or written long, long ago, spoken in to others with ancient tongues and dialects, detailed with reed and papyrus. And yet, at this instant, they maintain a revelance and power far beyond anything today.

Just over the past few days, John speaks of the difference of being one of the world and being one of God. How our infirmities and debilitation is fostered, raised and enhanced by things all around us. Being caught up in these concerns, like resentment, ego and self-righteousness, takes one down a ruinous path, speaking from my own experience. But upon letting go of things born of the world around you, an altogher different life takes hold. In a comforting, sustaining and altogher safe way.

His only son was sent here to teach all of us how to live and to love. When you feel as though there is nothing left for you, that you are worthless, unvalued and ruined, you can leave this world behind. Not in a hopeless manner. But in a hope-full approach. So as to truly be what you were made for, with true intention, trust and the knowledge that you are loved steadfastly and singularly.

We may be on the earth for now, but by no means does this require us to be of this world. We have the free will to choose.

And finally, to just live.

So if I had a billboard?

How about this:

“I love you”

“The gift that keeps on giving, Clark.”

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Daily writing prompt
Who are the biggest influences in your life?
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To answer this, I have to first share another aspect of my forthcoming answer. I know, this is totally out of character. But because of the biggest influence, I am better able to embrace many others that just appear and touch my life.

For the longest time, I have had to somehow touch everything in my life. Be totally involved, manage, tend to every aspect, control, contend, bark, direct, etc., etc, ad nauseum. Effectively squeezing out anything or anyone that could have made an impact for the most part. If the guard came down, there would be those epiphanies, scattered far and wide. And many of them remain to this day.

But when I got to the point where none of that worked for me, in fact only worked against me and to my detriment, I simply accepted things and learned to become efficient and effusive with mea culpas. Let go. Lived for this moment. Then the next ten minutes. Another ten. And so on.

A true sense of peace and serenity found me. Once I accepted its gradual but all persuasive and positively pervasive appearance and influence, I just rolled with it. The more I loosed my grip on things, the deeper and wider it grew. Things I read now made sense. What others shared gave me courage and strength. Each moment became an entirely new experience, never knowing who may, what would, justhow or where I might be reformed and re-formed.

No matter how much I thought I could do just because it was me in charge, I couldn’t, wouldn’t or didn’t. But once I just honestly capitualted and let go, I could, would and do. Guided by the influence of all those that somehow just happen to be there, say what needs to be heard, do what I cannot and offer to share what I cannot carry alone.

Like me, they too must have waved the white flag and let go. To experience this level of influence by those that have embraced it too is an altogether different level of peace, serenity and security.

Makes this time of year even better.

“The gift that keeps on giving, Clark.”

His focus.

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The various fonts of my ongoing amateur authorship affinity has carried with them a number of different monikers. Most of which were football or coaching affiliated and oriented.

One, once began some time ago, “…a temporary assignment” was somewhat a center of my attention, evocative of that moment in my life. A period of an altogether different level of processing and being. Unaware, or perhaps more honestly unprepared for the feces that would soon hit the fan. Directed for the most part by my inept, irrational and mostly intentional thoughts, words and actions.

So much for leading by example. But I digress….

As of late, things have been brought into focus. Not back into, for that would imply the way things were then needed to be better seen so as to promote my immediate return to them. I would hazard to say that focus has never been one of my strong suits. Well, perhaps it appeared as such, albeit superficially.

Perhaps.

Maybe that remains to be seen.

Of late, things are different. Largely because the direction of my gaze has changed. No longer am I trying to re-see where I was currently looking. Mostly behind. I think I better understand its relevance to this moment, but it no longer rules the day. Same can be said for what may or may not lay ahead. Though we may think other wise, there isn’t much say in that department.

Which this morning led me to better grasp “….my temporary assignment.” No where close to the first or second iteration. Hopefully what is said about the third time has merit and veracity.

Today is what I have. And what I choose to do with it is an assignment of the utmost importance. Tasks that have been granted by a grace freely given. Delivered by the thoughts now received, the words readily heard and the actions witnessed.

Nothing to do with bringing things back into focus. Just being able to finally really see.

His focus.

But I digress…

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A very compelling question to begin the day.

There are a number of those that have cast an impression upon me, in their way, ultimately soliciting a positive outcome in my life. Some are instantaneous in nature, sort of a spontaneous combustion event. While there are those that were merely planted, left and took months, years or decades to germinate and come to fruition.

Moments, interactions and relationships can assume an identity all their own, playing out a role that may not be readily apparent. There are those that bring with them an open and genuine level of honesty and positivity. Meant for one’s immediate care and benefit. Delivered with complete integrity, humility and a love born of servanthood to all those in need.

The impact of those interactions are immediately apparent. And I can name many that were there in that fashion, precisely when I desperately needed it.

One in particular was so in tune with my wellbeing, that he somehow called me, out of the blue, precisely during one of my worst moments, simply because he wanted me to know that he was there for me. No matter what. To this day, I remain touched by this level of loving care. The fact that I just shared this event with all of you brings tears to my eyes, despite the fact it happened well over a decade ago.

Then, there are those lessons one encounters that begin more with a somewhat arbitrary sense of conviction and desire, because its “how I did it and it works, so you should do it too.” Born more of convention or convenience. Just because. And depending on the current circumstances in one’s life, one might be more apt to surrender a bit oneself to become like them. Join the clique. Be a member of the “team”.

At first, things may reap the rewards yearned for, creating a false sense of “I made it.” But as the cost to your true being is accounted for, things slip away and you can descend into realms that taint, harm and destroy. There might be ways to assuage this sense of loss and losing recognition of who it is you were to start. But ultimately, it becomes a lesson of redemption and rebirth. An interaction that cast a cloud of negativity over you and your life. But ultimately, in the final analysis, led you to where you were meant to be.

Just as I am indebted to those who have touched my soul in ways I never imagined, I too am grateful that others have led me to tough lessons in self realization and affirmation. Perhaps they were never intended to be how I accepted them. But despite the negative origins, they too became a positive and lasting influence on me. And to those men, I am also grateful for being a part of my journey.

I tend to digress once pen is in hand. But with regard to the basis of the prompt, “describe a man who has positively impacted your life”, without a doubt, he would be Him. God.

It was He that suggested that many fellow coach should call precisely when I needed to hear his voice and feel his love. And it was He that allowed me to exercise my free will, albeit poor in execution, while remaining right next to me as I rebuilt and found my true way forward in life. He brought all those other men in and out of my life, when they were needed, then not, so that I could finally find this man.

The one sharing this prompt on one of the best days ever.

According to His plan.

But I digress…

A gift that keeps on giving.

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This can be a challenging season for many. Though it is intended to be a celebration of anticipation, affirmation and arrival, ones focus might happen to remain fixed on regrets, sorrow and loneliness.

A desperately needed gift for some may be well within one’s reach. Something that cannot be left at the front door or scanned into some account. It can be returned, but not as you would expect. And yet, it is celebratory in form. Given through presence.

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
― John Joseph Powell

It could occur in passing in a store, in a line at the counter. A party with neighbors or coworkers to enjoin in the festivities of the season. A chance meeting of an old friend in a parking lot or local coffee shop. Those that are forlornly seeking a mere glimpse of their inherent beauty and worth, can come to find it in your face, expression and genuine warmth you exude.

A mirror has no sense of itself other than what it sees. And as we are not things, we do have a sense of ourselves in some measure. But being a mirror is not about how you feel. It is about reflecting another’s compassion and truth. Their worth and love. Entities that can somehow become hidden by self created and imposed filters. Shame. Rejection.

Your presence in those instances reveals to them images that cannot hide from reality. Things about themselves they need to witness.

So in anticipte and celebrate their arrival into your life, if but for only a moment. Affirm their true worth and singular beauty as a fellow human. Trumpet the good they will come to know in the time to come.

Reflecting what you truly see in them, brings out the best in you.

And they will then yearn to do the same for another.

A gift that keeps on giving.