Together.

About thirteen years ago, I started to carry a pail to football practice. At the time, it was meant to be a lesson for the kids. But ever since then, it has since become a poignant one for me. One about the essence of understanding, moving towards life and being open to true love. 

I shared a story about that pail with the players and parents in our community youth football program. How it held the most fertile soil around. Dark, rich, 100% Lemke Park dirt.  The finest in all of Mequon. How at one time, it had been home to bumper crops of corn, soybeans or perhaps even wheat. 

And as the lesson began to unfold, I shared how it had since grown into the best piece of grass in all of M-T. How even to this day, despite the goal posts, sleds and painted lines, it remained true to its original purpose; a farm. A place where some of the best young men and finest football players around are grown each year. 

I posited that since both grass and football players seem to grow so well on it, there had to be something about that dirt. I touched on its medicinal qualities.  How its composition acted as a salve for the pains and disappointments in life.  “A handful of that soil, when applied to where it hurts”, I said, “would make it all go away.” 

To “rub some dirt on it”, in football and life parlance. 

That tale was penned to buck them up, get them past their self-doubts, move them beyond discomfort, to take on challenging situations and help them overcome fear.  A motivational ploy to help them grow.  Like that dirt was to that old farm. Like football is to life.

But to one, the message resonated in an altogether different manner.  Though she read everything he’d written, this particular offering struck a different chord. This time, she “saw” something else.  Not just what was woven into those words.  But in the fabric of the one carrying that pail. 

She understood the lesson being taught. Its intention. How it was meant to promote growth.  But something at her core became focused on the one carrying the pail. And being that she happened to be made that way also, the connection was obvious.  The pail was part of her being too.

For her, it was not merely a prop. It spoke to her in a far more substantial way.  More than just “rub some dirt on it”. That pail was representative of what their  ultimate mission was to be.  Together. As one.

She  came to realize that he was just like her.  He shared in her life purpose. Vocation.  Yet in his own way.  And at some level, she simply wanted him to know that he was not alone in that.  In time, he began to see her.  To understand and appreciate that she was just like him.  

No longer would she be alone in pursuing her passion. And he now knows within his own core that same “something” she first sensed within hers.  Beyond what is merely woven into words.  But in the very fabric of his being. 

That she is within him. 

Ineinander. 

The seed of what has since become a life-long bond.

Gardeners both. 

Two fully intent on producing healthy, lasting, and abundant growth within one another.  

Within everyone they touch.  

And everywhere they go. 

Two that were always intended to carry that pail of dirt. 

Together.  

Just not for me.

Daily writing prompt
You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?

I might consider taking a plane, train and automobile if I could pal around with Neal and Del along the way. Would definitely bring my own pillow.

After being on planes for business much of my professional life, doing that really wouldn’t float my boat. Then I would have to get pods and PJ’s and slippers. There is something appealing about trains, but it is like you are encased. You can see out, but not sure if they will let you roll the windows down. Same with a bus. Not on a track, but kinda like a train on wheels.

When I did have a choice for business travel, I would gravitate towards cars. Control of music and windows, take an exit to some place that looked intriguing, cold call around a desolate industrial park. Just kind of like a true adventure. Way more relaxed. With phones the way they are these days, you could talk to anyone anywhere as you made your way towards, I don’t know, Arcade, NY.

I do like the prospects of the bike however. Wonder if Google maps features a non-knucklehead route across the country. But then again, I don’t think I would want my phone on me. No music either. Just the sound of the wind, the warmth of the sun and the splat of the bugs on my face. Perhaps a puppy or two inspiring me to sprint from certain destruction on the pavement. That would truly be rejuvenating.

So to circumvent potential Road America drivers, maybe stick a rack on the car, take the bike to some wide open spaces, ride the day, then pack up and head off to the next adventure. For this old fart, that would be the way to go cross-country.

Sorry Neal.

Sorry Dell.

Upon further review.

Just not for me.

Being present.

Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

I am typically an optimist. I have learned to look for and then find the opportunity that lay in all forms of adversity, negative feelings included. Both are never “if” but only “when” moments. Not that one necessarily embarks on a search for them. I think it just behooves us to see them as such and press on.

Speaking from years of experience, negative feelings can have a variety of sources. Maybe this is something for another day. I just know their origins come from within, part of your make. From without, somehow energized by interactions found in everyday life. Those from within may impact how you perceive the ones from without. And those without may behave similarly on those within.

So as with adversity, there is much ado about the sensory aspects of that moment as well as maintaining presence. By that I mean, staying right where you are. Present.

My negative feelings first became inextricably woven into the past. Always returning to the bent corner of the page in that part of my story so I could re-read, re-live, re-shame and re-torture myself for something I did or didn’t from long, long ago. Way too many volumes for this library.

Then, they may have a need to jump ahead in time, to something that hasn’t even happened. To a large extent, that flavor was ego stating I already knew what was going to happen, because you know, I was in control of everything. Funny that if you are convinced you run it, you somehow cannot make everything work out.

My self inflicted negativity, whether through creation or response, cannot survive the present. Absent tending and nurturing the garden variety sins of the past, or, fomenting angst, anxiety and defeat by scheduling ahead, these thoughts cannot survive, let alone grow and thrive.

Choosing to simply and only accept and learn from the past helps kill those roots so new grass can take hold. And deciding not live out over your skis, you will actually begin to appreciate what is right here with you. Being present, right here, right now, reduces, if not completely eradicates negative thoughts.

They are seen for what they truly are. Like the approaching storm, they too will pass.

I have determined that they have no business in my life. And that is just going to be the way it is.

The gift that keeps on giving.

Being present.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Daily writing prompt
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?

Oh my.

From a cinema perspective, I have seen the original Star Wars trilogy – Episode IV: A New Hope (1977), Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980), and Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983) – starting first in the theatres first and then on to watching at home in various ways, more than a dozen times.

I saw the first three Lord of the Rings – The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King – when they opened in the theatres, and at least a half dozen times on the home screen now. Sort of jumped in when Titanic appeared, and have been watching that one when it surfaces during an evening of dead sea scrolling. Deadpool is up there, The Dark Knight, and the like are in the five plus crowd.

But by far, the most watched movie for me, spanning decades is:

I always find something different in it. The scene where Harry exalts his brother: “A toast to my big brother George: The richest man in town” still brings tears. Just did now. I will watch that one all the way to the end. Literally and figuratively.

TV shows?

That gets a little more complex.

Growing up in the suburbs, Sunday nights on the local WTTW station meant joining the circus.

Being that it was on Sundays meant me and my brother would watch it religiously. That is simply a pun. God, you know me.

Later in life, it became AFV, replacing the Pythons, every Sunday evening.

The ones where people get the crap scared out of them are the best. Kids in the flour bags and make up drawer a close second.

But this is where it gets tricky.

I have always loved the original Tom and Jerry cartoons. Tex Avery and Looney Toons close second and third. But then newer iterations get mixed in, like Shemps and Joes. But I could watch Tom, Jerry and Butch whack each other all day.

But by George, the longest running favorite of mine ever, though they are technically shorts, are by far, Moe, Larrry and Curly.

I have been watching them since my preteens and still watch them every week in my mid sixties.

We used to go to midnight Stooges festivals at the local theatre during highschool. And they have found a place on Me TV, from 5:00 to 7:00 PM each Saturday night. Leading into Svengoolie, another one I used to enjoy on WFLD back on the day.

In short, it’s a wonderful life when you can spread out and pick two.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

That is where you truly find life.

Daily writing prompt
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?

I am going to step back on this one and do a deep dive on failure.

There! I finally used that sterling expression I heard multiple times at “meetings” in the business world. Wait. Just thought of an even better one. Almost pornographic in construction. “Pull back the kimono.” Now there is a gem. There, I think I met my KPI’s for the day. But once again, sorry folks, I digress….

In my estimation, failure is less an event than it is a mindset. There is some veracity to other more cliche’ utterances, like “doomed to fail”, “repeating history” and the one closest to my personality and experience, “setting himself up for failure.” All are mental and attitudinal precursors to hitting bottom.

When you go about things perched on a pedastal of your own construction, things are not likely to flow well. They may appear as together and synchronous from the outside, about a layer or two down, but when you get down at the core, things are an absolute mess.

Ego is the culprit. From whatever cause, for whatever reason, by any means necessary, ego can sink the ship. Does the name Titanic ring a bell?

It might be a need to be right. Always. To have all of the answers. Always. Control every situation and outcome. Always. Sit in judgement of others. Always.

Be God.

It could also be the salve for damages incurred at the hands of others.

The ever deep bruises of shame. The emptiness wrought by no esteem. Allowing others to assess your worth and value. Not having a clue as to who you are or how others see you.

Those just provided right there pretty much sums up the triggers leading to my foray in to ego. A way of being that created my environment fertile for failure. Decades in the making. And unbreaking.

Failures of my own making.

First, they started off as the small, just brush them off varieties, promoting dishonesty.

Giving growth to “….well, I will just be more careful next time”. Another layer or three of self deception and duplicity.

Finally, leaving port and moving onto a succession of personal Titanics.

“Iceberg?”

Let me tell you, treading water for a couple of years inspired me to accept the preserver of humility, truth and faith. Lasting and finally honest life lessons. Now that I found dry land, I am happy to say I am working my way into more of the AP curriculum these days.

How one could ever promote a deeper dive by pulling back the kimono is lost on me.

But sinking to the bottom?

That is where you truly find life.